If The Witcher took place in modern times, Jaskier would win the Eurovision song contest.
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If The Witcher took place in modern times, Jaskier would win the Eurovision song contest.

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Made another for my Mark of a Lark Universe, Bear Witcher Jaskier! © Falling Stars
“Uht, uht, you stay right there while I deal with this, wouldn’t want to provoke me.” Jaskier hummed, hand outstretched to the oncoming soldier, never taking his eyes off of the one before him. Aard vibrated at his fingertips, waiting for the moment Jaskier let’s the sign release from him with force, but for now he waited.
So how about witchers having their own code and leaving messages at the entrace to the villages and cities they passed through.
Don’t go to the tavern, the food ain’t good and they spit in my ale, the bastards - Merten
Alderman always haggles, start the negotiation with double the fee - Kolgrim
Don’t go to the whorehouse on xxx-street, use the one 2 alley’s over! They don’t stink of fear as much and were able to even teach me things... -Stephan
Lord of the land doesn’t care, try and strike a deal with one of the guilds that’s having the most problems because of the monster - Vesemir // Strike that, that was a few generations ago, his grand-offspring actually seems to know their duty to their people! Coën
So when a village really f*cked up they use this system to make it so all the wichers know not to help them out. contrarywise, if a place is witcher-neutral or -friendly, they lower their asking prices accordingly.
Geralt never teaches the code to Jaskier, but the bard hears him talking to Roach about the things he read and makes note of the symbols used. So during his time travelling with the white wolf, he teaches himself and after the mountain break up he makes use of it for himself. It’s often useful information and not just for witchers!
And if the bard starts leaving behind his own messages, using a code-name (or his actual first name), giving tips on how to approach the citizens (do they respond better to politeness, or do they need to be stared down or worst case threatened), which nobles can be counted on to provide decent rooms, which ones are utter shitheads, which names to drop at the inn to make it so they aren’t overcharged, etc Then that’s nobodies business but his own. His respect for witchers in general didn’t end just because Geralt had been an utter twat.
While he doesn’t know, his messages are a huge help to the other witchers. About as much as his songs are actually. And saying the phrase “I’m a friend of Julian’s” 9 times out of 10 helps to avoid being overcharged for everything from rooms to supply shopping and everything in between.
Among the witchers that meet each other on the Path, a discussion has started to figure out which school this “Julian” belongs to. “He one of yours?” “Nah mate, thought he was one of yours!”
Competent Jaskier Masterlist
(Updated 23/07/21) - Basically I’m probably going to write more of Jaskier/Dandelion being able to use a sword/dagger/bow.... So it’s getting it’s own post!
Geraskier
Sword Dagger, Crossbow - A trilogy of sorts. (Dagger gets a bit spicy... so know that?)
18+ Dagger Sexy times, Tea stirring, 16 +Jaskier learns to fight, 18+ Jaskier ambushes Geralt in the woods, Thigh Daggers, Assassin!Jaskier, Feral Jask,
Gerlion
Dandelion buys Geralt a sword, Dagger,
Jaskilion
18+ Sword fight with the bards
Related fics by other wonderful people!
18+ Finale of Jaskier’s dagger fic by @bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher
Geralt buys Jaskier a longbow by @wherethewordsare
Tag for my semi-drunken ramblings about Jaskier feat. Daggers.
Witchertober 2020 (07)
Masterlist
Read this chapter on AO3 or here ⬇
Title: Witchertober 2020
Author: Kitty Nanny Gaming
Fandom: The Witcher
Summary: For the Witchertober 2020 list by @bamf-jaskier
Rating: G to M (just to be sure)
Notes:
Banner:

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An old wolf meets a buttercup
A/N: I kind of forgot I wrote this but I just found it in my WiPs again! So here we are. I think I wanted to make a series out of it or at least write more about these two but right now I rather post this before I forget about it again.
Fandom: The Witcher
Characters: Vesemir, Jaskier
Words: 1,4k
Vesemir stepped into a small village not too far away from Kaer Morhen. He was already well known here and due to helping often with the villagers' monster problems he rarely had to deal with anyone attacking him physically or verbally for being a Witcher, which was always a welcome fact.
Of course, there were still the occasional suspicious glances or mothers hiding their children, but honestly, Vesemir couldn't care less about that.
However, today, before the old Witcher could even enter the inn a young couple came running to him. "Master Witcher,sir!"
Vesemir barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the way he was addressed and turned around. "Yes?"
"We need your help! The bard's in danger!" the woman exclaimed, sounding sincerely distressed.
you wanted some, you got some!
In which BAMF!Jaskier saves Geralt...
Geralt: *getting tortured by Nilfgaardians or some other bad guy*
Jaskier: *knocks one of the guards the FUCK out and sneaks in*
Torturer: *rambling on about some nasty torture stuff*
Geralt: I never thought I'd say this... but I'm actually pleased to see you...
Torturer: Ha! He's delirou-
Torturer: *turns around to see Jaskier right behind him, holding a dagger to his throat*
Jaskier, beaming: *uses his free (and bloody) hand to wave at his Witcher* Hi, Geralt! ^v^