#balthasar

or how he felt when prince escalus questioned him what happened, still tired from waking? when he turned and looked over to see the one he is most loyal to, pale and being pulled out of the grave alongside his love with a dagger in her chest, knowing he had told romeo she was supposedly dead and that was his fault?

how did he feel with the money in his pocket, heavy knowing that he promised romeo he wouldn’t disturb him no matter what he heard in the tomb, just to figure out the other, not even an adult yet either, had killed himself over news he had delivered to him?

do you think balthasar tried to run over, thinking romeo was worried, just to find he did not even stir? his chest did not rise nor fall? he was questioned by the prince, seemingly a suspect, when he didn’t even know romeo was dead yet.

We Three Kings of Orienteering Aren’t

Balthasar had heard the rumors- that Castiel had been temporarily pulled out of the field and sent Upstairs, that he had been getting a little too friendly with the humans in his charge. Balthasar did not know much else; he had been steering clear of Earth and preparing for battle with the rest of the garrison. The Winchesters were Castiel’s mission - not his jurisdiction. He didn’t think the rumors were worth a second thought.

…And then Castiel rebelled. Threw the metaphorical wrench that derailed Fate and Prophecy and the Apocalypse. Castiel defied Heaven. Cassie must have been getting awfully close to at least one of those humans, Balthasar had thought. He had always had some level of appreciation for Earth and its delights. If Castiel had rebelled just to keep the planet spinning, Balthasar could understand. It seemed to be much more than that, though. Angels weren’t designed to feel love for anything but the Father and His creation. And yet. It was so clear to Balthasar that Castiel’s defiance stemmed from love. So when Raphael attempted to take over Heaven in Michael’s absence and fast-track the Apocalypse all over again, Balthasar pledged his allegiance to Castiel and promptly found a place to lay low on Earth. (Faked his own death. Sorry Cassie! I’ll help you if you find me, but otherwise I’m staying out of the skirmishes.) Balthasar was content to align himself with Castiel no matter the fundamental motivation, as long as he could keep indulging in the pleasure Earth had to offer. He had not anticipated the Winchesters themselves calling upon him.

When Balthasar meets Lucifer’s vessel - the Boy With the Demon Blood- he wonders if he is the man for whom Castiel defied the Plan. He honestly doubts it, but there’s no way Castiel fell in love with the Michael’s Sword, right? Still, he throws out a “Well then, go ask your boyfriend”. He doesn’t really get a reaction, but he holds out hope. Let it be this Abomination and not the Michael’s sword. Castiel can’t be that suicidal.

And then Balthasar meets The Righteous Man. And he sees that Castiel has branded his Soul, left his handprint on Michael’s vessel. Oh Cassie, what have you done?