#balan

i learned from this post that tumblr has a limit for the number of tags. whoops.

my abridged rant about tattooing and finrod. abandon all expectation of punctuation and proper grammar all ye that enter here:

im currently enjoying the conflict between the permanence (“permanence”) of the elves and their bodies and the preciousness of a body. and the aversion to its marring (“marring”) and suffering. not the aversion to hardship as i see this as different but more the grief of the marks said hardship may leave and the weight of that hardship wrought upon the body “permanently” and the weight being that of grief.

so the idea of intentionally “marring” the body as something to be troubled by. i think also much can be said about the ease at which something troubling that comes from mortal people could be attributed to the darkness from which they flee. and maybe theyre right about the source being from that darkness or maybe that is entirely baseless and hurtful but regardless of its source its current purpose is clearly not evil. its a medium of creation to be bent in whatever direction it will by its wielders.

anyways, findaráto. he is hungry in his wanderings for secret places but also for new things and most of all for learning. and though he might have misgivings in his heart at the start he cant hold onto these things for long. not when it is clear they are untrue or different from what was supposed. and how could he wander far and be friend to all if he held his heart closed so? his heart is left open and he bars the doors from shutting.

it is a detached way of thinking to wish to be unmarred, detached in that is involves being apart from the world and what of it can touch you. finrod may be afraid of attachments to some degree but not to the extent that it stops him from constantly seeking them. To be burdened by the "weights" of attachments or by griefs is to have loved. for what is found in living within the world and loving it and loving it well and remembering it and carrying it within himself is everything good about living. (grief accompanies it but the grief and pain would likely be there anyways with the dark days at hand. no matter how far apart he held himself from life)

so of course it doesnt frighten him to "mar" himself. does pain alone lay claim to marking the body or can joy or other things mark it too? or his own want? is it not his own with which to live in and should it not suit him? should he not be allowed to welcome such a "weight" upon his skin and delight in it?

he likes how they look and wants one for himself is there really any more that need be said??