I’m still pretty loopy from fatigue and I need to preface this story by stating up front that I am at like 30% brain power. Maybe less.
So my manager got us banh mi today which was deeply appreciated. He asked what I’d like and I said a pork sandwich with no cilantro or jalapeño. He said he can order without jalapeño but not cilantro. I shrugged and accepted that.
The food arrived with a rush of customers and sat waiting for us to eat it. I was the first one to finish and rush to the back, ravenous for tasty meat. There were three sandwiches. Only one had writing on it. Now in my defense when my wife and I get banh mi mine is always the one with writing because I order with substitutions.
I opened it and removed the cilantro. I bite in and I’m like. Hm. I think there’s jalapeño in here. I then look closer at the meat. It definitely looks like chicken. I poke my head out and ask my manager what he got.
He said chicken.
I said, “I’m so sorry.”
His face fell but he nodded and said, “Okay, just move the jalapeños over to one of the pork ones.”
“No but see. I really don’t want chicken. What if I just cut it?”
He agreed that that would be fine.
Two.
Hours.
Later.
He finally gets into the back and opens his sandwich. I heard a huge booming laugh. He then came out of the back room holding his sandwich and is like, “What is this???”
So I. In my infinite sleepiness. Assumed that the way to fix my crime was to cut off two inches of my sandwich to replace what I had stolen. And what he wanted was for me to cut the teeth marks off of his sandwich.
I wailed, “I’m so stupid! Of course you didn’t want two inches of my sandwich but I wanted to replace what I stole and it didn’t even occur to me to cut off the bitten part!”
He went incoherent with laughter.
