#badhabits

Starting is strange.

You can want the result badly and still avoid the first step. The document is open. The running shoes are nearby. The business idea has been sitting in your notes for six months, looking more polished than some actual businesses.

And yet, nothing happens.

This is where people usually accuse themselves of being lazy. I’m not sure that explanation holds up very well. Most procrastinators are not doing nothing. They are checking messages, arranging files, reading advice, making lists, researching better systems, and somehow staying busy enough to avoid the one action that would actually move the work forward.

The problem is not always motivation.

Often, it is friction.

A task feels too vague, too large, too emotionally loaded, or too easy to postpone. So the brain does what brains tend to do: it looks for relief. Not tomorrow. Now.

The good news is that starting faster does not require a dramatic personality change. It may require smaller entry points. Better cues. Less negotiation with yourself. A few habits that make action feel less like a cliff and more like a step.

Here are seven small habits that can help you start faster.

1. Decide the First Physical Action

“Work on my project” is not a starting point.

It is a fog.

A better instruction is physical and visible: open the laptop, create a blank document, write the title, put the notebook on the table, fill the water bottle, place the shoes by the door.

This sounds almost insultingly simple. That may be why it works.

When a task remains abstract, your mind has room to argue. Should I do it now? How long will it take? What if I’m not ready? But a physical action lowers the mental temperature. You are not committing to the whole mountain. You are only touching the first stone.

Before bed, write down the first movement for tomorrow’s hardest task. Not the goal. Not the mood you hope to have. The movement.

2. Use a Two-Minute Opening Ritual

A ritual does not have to be spiritual or dramatic. It can be boring.

Actually, boring helps.

Set a timer for two minutes. Open the file. Read the last paragraph. Put your phone across the room. Sit in the chair. That is it.

The point is not to finish the work inside two minutes. The point is to create a repeatable doorway into the work. Over time, the brain begins to associate the ritual with beginning. Less debate. Less theatrical dread.

There is a subtle critique here, though. People often turn rituals into another form of delay. They need the perfect coffee, the right playlist, the ideal desk setup. Be careful. A useful ritual makes starting easier. A decorative ritual becomes procrastination wearing better clothes.

Keep it plain.

3. Shrink the Task Until It Feels Almost Too Easy

Big tasks create emotional resistance.

“Write the article” sounds heavy. “Write five rough sentences” feels possible. “Clean the apartment” creates fatigue before you stand up. “Clear the kitchen counter” is more approachable.

This habit matters because the brain often resists the imagined size of the task, not the task itself. Once you start, the work may become less unpleasant than expected. Many people have had the odd experience of avoiding something for days and then finishing it in half an hour.

The trick is not to shame yourself into action.

Lower the entry fee.

A small start is not a weak start. It is a start that survives contact with real life: low energy, imperfect mood, noisy room, limited time.

4. Remove One Obvious Distraction Before You Begin

Do not redesign your entire life.

Just remove one thing.

Put the phone in another room. Close the browser tab that keeps pulling your attention. Turn off the television. Move the snack bowl off the desk if it keeps becoming your excuse to stand up.

One distraction removed is not a perfect environment, but it changes the odds.

We tend to overestimate willpower and underestimate convenience. If distraction is within reach, it will eventually make its case. And it is persuasive. Especially when the work is uncomfortable.

Starting faster often depends less on becoming disciplined and more on making avoidance slightly harder to access.

Not impossible. Just harder.

5. Name the Feeling Instead of Obeying It

This one is easy to dismiss until you try it.

Before you avoid the task, pause and ask: what feeling am I trying not to feel?

Boredom? Uncertainty? Fear of being judged? Resentment? Confusion?

Naming the feeling does not magically remove it. But it separates the emotion from the action. Instead of “I can’t do this,” the thought becomes, “I feel anxious about starting.” That difference may seem small, but it gives you a little room to choose.

A lot of procrastination is emotional avoidance in practical clothing. We say we need more time. Sometimes we do. But often we need a way to tolerate the discomfort of beginning badly.

That is not weakness.

It is human.

6. Stop at an Easy Restart Point

Most people think only about how to begin. They forget that yesterday’s ending shapes today’s start.

If you stop working at a point of total confusion, tomorrow begins with resistance. If you stop after leaving a simple note, the next session has a handle.

Before ending, write one sentence:

“Next, I need to outline the second section.”

Or:

“Tomorrow, start by replying to Sarah’s email.”

This habit is especially useful for writing, studying, business planning, and any task that stretches across several days. You are leaving breadcrumbs for your future self. A small courtesy, really.

It reduces the cold-start problem.

7. Reward Starting, Not Just Finishing

Finishing gets too much attention.

Of course completion matters. But if you only reward yourself after the whole task is done, starting remains emotionally unrewarding. That is a problem because starting is often the hardest part.

Give yourself credit for the first honest action.

Ten minutes of focused work counts. Opening the document counts. Making the awkward phone call counts. Sending the imperfect draft counts.

This is not about lowering standards. It is about training your attention toward behavior you want repeated.

People often wait to feel proud until the outcome is impressive. That sounds noble, but it can backfire. Momentum is built from repeated evidence that you can begin, even when conditions are ordinary.

Especially then.

The Pattern Underneath All Seven Habits

These habits are not glamorous.

That is part of their value.

They do not depend on a new identity, a perfect morning routine, or an expensive productivity app. They work by reducing the emotional and practical resistance around starting.

Decide the first action. Make the opening small. Remove one distraction. Notice the feeling. Leave an easy restart point.

Nothing here is flashy.

But procrastination is rarely defeated by dramatic promises. More often, it weakens when starting becomes normal, repeatable, and less emotionally expensive.

If you keep delaying important work, do not immediately assume you lack ambition. You may simply have built a starting process with too much friction.

Change the process.

Then start smaller than your ego wants.

If you want a more structured plan to stop procrastinating and build momentum over the next week, you can follow my step-by-step guide here:

👉 Click Here

*snaps their finger infront of her bringing her attention back*

Lɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʙᴜɴɴʏ. ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ?

ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʙɪʀᴅꜱ. ʜᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ʙᴏɴᴇꜱ.

*Bad Habits

내가 정말 좋아하던 Ed sheeran 노래 중 하나였다.

" 내 나쁜 습관들이 날 네게 데려가. "

하는 가사가 신나는 데도 얻어 맞는 기분이어서.

습관적으로 당신 손을 잡고, 익숙한 곳에 가고, 당연하다는 듯 서로 마주보는

그런 것들이 날 더 나로 만들어버린다.

완전히 새로운 나는 이제 없다. 과거에서부터 쌓아온 좋거나 나쁜 습관들로 일하거나, 살아가거나, 사랑하거나 하게 된다.

그럼에도 떼고 싶은 나쁜 습관들로 결국 또 비슷한 결말을 맞이할 걸 알면서도 이내 움직이고 만다.

" 난 너무 멀리가는 법만 알고 있나봐. "

그렇게 계속 제자리를 맴도는 애정만 가질수 밖에 없는 사람처럼.

-Ram

*Bad Habits

정신건강을 위해 그만해야 할까, 또는 이걸 이겨내려고 노력해야 하나. 괴롭고 불편한 것을 피하려고 찾는 핑계일까, 누가 봐도 아닌 건 아닌 걸까. 싫은 건 피하려는 습관이 생기고 있는 걸까, 처한 상황을 바꾸는 것이 지혜로운 걸까.

-Hee

*Bad Habits

허리 디스크가 터졌다. 무거운 짐을 들거나 운동을 하다가 급작스레 다친 게 아니어서 억울한 마음은 없었다. 그런데도 병원에 입원해서 누워있는 동안 다 부수고 싶은 폭력적인 마음이 들끓었다. 분출되지 못한 채 쌓인 화를 꾸준히 모아뒀다가 허리디스크 탓에 우울증이 올 수도 있다는 말을 십분 이해하려던 나약한 생각을 태워버렸다. 적어도 당분간은 분개하거나 나자빠져서 허비할 시간이 없다.

부랴부랴 요추지지대를 샀다. 잘 때도 허리 아래에 수건을 말아서 받쳐두고 정직하게 누워서 잔다. 개같이 멸망한 허리는 결국 내 선택의 뻔한 결과다. 그리고 약해진 허리를 아껴가며 죽기 전까지 잘 사용하는 것도 내 선택에 달려있다. 꼭 사고가 생겨야 마음을 고쳐먹는 안일함이라니...

-Ho

*Bad Habits

오늘 주제는 'Bad Habits'다. 건전하게 말하면 '나쁜 습관' 같은 것이겠지만, 유명 팝 가수 에드 시런의 노래가 이번 주제라고 가정할 때 'Bad habits'는 문제가 될 만한 행동이 습관적으로 나오는 것을 말하는 것일게다. 술을 마시면 싸움을 한다거나, 어떤 버튼이 눌리면 사람이 변한다거나. 중독적인 행동을 반복하는 것일테다. 글쎄. 하나씩은 있잖을까? 나쁜 버릇들. 말할 수 있지만 말할 수 없는 어떤 행동들. 들추고 싶지 않지만 드러나는 어떤 것들이.

The Necessity of Motivation in Pursuit of Wealth 

Being a witch with ADHD can be contradictory at times. And now is one of them. I am confident that wealth follows and it does not lead. I am comfortable not leading my life in pursuit of wealth. However, I am still a human existing on this planet, a planet where wealth not only leads, but having some form of income is a necessity for survival. For most, a steady income is a necessity for creating a comfortable, safe, and healthy environment to prosper in this decaying world. 

I am in a position where I have less wealth than I ever have before, but I have also achieved more dreams than I ever have before. I am living in a place I have dreamed about since I was young. I am living among the mountains and the great glory of this Earth’s nature and all it has to offer. I am living with and building a family of humans and animals that love me greatly and our soulmates of mine. I am living as a witch who believes in my value and abilities. 

These things drive my passion, my hope, and my willingness to do more than simply survive. My willingness to always push to be thriving. What doesn’t drive this will to live fully is paid work, perceived achievement/success, and valuing profit. 

It is very difficult for me to “show up” as my full self or with 100% energy when I am not intrinsically motivated by the values I consider most important. These are things I typically do and express in spades. Especially, in critical situations and oftentimes to a fault or to the great annoyance of others. 

However, I’ve learned the hard way in my adult years that when I try to pursue things that don’t fulfill my soul purpose or innermost values, I not only fail, but I suffer greatly, relapse, and regress. 

ADHDilemma 

As I referenced in my introductory post, I was a high-achiever growing up. This is also a result of being an AFAB person and an empath with severe ADHD. I knew all the rules, I studied hard, I hyper-focused, I hyper-felt, I had way too many varied interests that were always changing, I wanted to win, to be loved as I was, and I took rejection and torment to heart. This allowed me to rise up as a star student, star sibling, star employee. I masked the qualities and behaviors that I was ashamed of or the ones that led to torment, rejection, or guilt. 

You see,  I could read other people and knew when I was upsetting them or when they were intentionally upsetting me. This made it easy to designate different emotions, behaviors, reactions, and conflicts into different buckets in my head. There were buckets that were safe to dump out in public, within a specific system, or with certain people, and others that were not. I became a masked person instead of myself.

What societal rules mixed with my persona and neuro-status didn’t allow me to do was love myself, and therefore, it prevented me from being a star-friend, or at least being friends with those who had my best interest at heart. More than that, the lack of love I had for myself regressed my ability to be a caretaker for myself, to be spiritually aligned, and ultimately to be happy. I let so many people victimize me throughout my life because of this and therefore have accumulated my own traumas along the way.

I have now learned so much about myself, unlearned so many unhealthy habits and behaviors, worked through a lot of trauma, embraced so many emotions and qualities about myself. This makes it heartbreakingly difficult for me to face what I call “the old me”. I really do not align with this person anymore, and I don’t really feel them in me at the deepest levels, but at the surface they are fully present. 

Old Habits Die Slowly and Painfully

This “old me” knew how to present on LinkedIn, in the professional world, knew how to do what I needed to do to get the job, to fit in, to lead the group, to follow the leader. Whatever was needed of me, I did it. 

I am now in a really tough financial position. I don’t have enough money to pay my bills, get medicine, go to therapy, take my pets to the vet*, get groceries, get more soil for my plants, etc. I know that I need to make money, and I know that the thing stopping me has been restraining myself from pursuing higher-income gigs. I have been fearful that I won’t “make it” in this new field that I am pursuing and that I left my corporate job to pursue. This has been stopping me from taking the leap into freelance writing gigs, into seeking out magazines or sites to submit stories too, to recording my first podcast episode, to finish setting up my profiles for freelance sites that are connected to my LinkedIn or require examples of my work. 

*Both my pets had full vet exams in April, I have simply not been able to afford a visit to a new vet for either pet since we moved. They are healthy.

Instead of going for these things that may make me more money AND fulfill the want and need I have to try to write and create content for things I am passionate about, I am settling for much less. Getting low $/hour to do low-brain-capacity work. A big part of this is feeling like I won’t be represented as I am now and for what I want to be doing, but rather for the “old me” because of the work I’ve done in the past for tech companies or consultants. The buyers of the work I want to do won’t have any specifically-relevant work to review. And the buyers of the work I used to do don’t want someone like me and I don’t want to write for those types of topics anyway. 

So why am I stopping myself from presenting in my full form online? Why am I not believing in myself to do the things I went to school for, live and breathe and consciously learn about with my time? 

Because I was always told that to succeed in business or in any field or industry, you need experience, presentation, professionalism, etc. And these things have always been defined through a straight, white, and male-driven lens. This means no tattoos, no colored hair, no piercings, no political issues or talk (even though what I want to discuss isn’t political to me, even if it’s politicized by the public). Why, no matter how much I oppose and despise those who set these “precedents and standards” do I still give in to them?

Because old habits die slowly, painfully, and only with a lot of work and resilience is it even possible. 

Shadow Work Makes a Great Assassin!

The only one qualified to kill off these old, and frankly unwelcome, habits is with an old friend - Shadow Work. Suffice it to say, I think all of this means that Shadow Work is calling my name. It’s time to have a real focus on this as I also work to pursue my creative and professional dreams. 

Shadow work allows us all to go inside and break down these old habits, old traumas, old blocks that come back our way to try and break down our soul. Consulting, tending to, and loving your shadow self can allow one to break free of these things, or even better, allow them to work for you and propel you on your journey to achieve your soul’s purpose.

To get started, I am working with this very poignant Full Moon that takes place tomorrow at its highest illumination. I have some shadow-work journal prompts, a Full Moon spell, and a ritual planned. 

I guess sometimes, being an ADHD witch has it’s upsides too. Witchcraft is a tool that really helps me live a meaningful life despite the struggles that come with my ADHD. I am who I am, and embracing the intersections of these two identifying pieces of me allows me to pursue my soul’s purpose.