#back surgery

But, no. 8 months later I needed all the hardware from the fusion removed. Surgery number 4 left me with holes in my spine. Very, very painful.

But 2026 I know I’ve herniated L3-4 a while ago but Tuesday morning it worsened. Now I can hardly walk, I wince in pain all the time. Occasionally it hurts to breathe. Took 200mg Celebrex, 8mg Zanaflex, and two Norco 10s. Even Gabapentin; &…NOTHING

I’ve always said I count my blessings because I’m not in a wheelchair (as I probably should be, given the extent of my 2016 injury). But this is scary.

Giving up a year is so rough, ngl. It’s not just one or two shows…it’s the whole year’s lineup-every show I’d planned on going to and now I can’t. Not to mention all the regular plans with friends and family. I won’t be able to drive and being a passenger is too painful. The worst of chores.

I have not once missed using a walker down my driveway. I have never looked back fondly on the inadvertent opioid addiction I was given (by a very highly recommended pain doc, might I add.)

And I certainly don’t fondly recall the loneliness. It’s so isolating and for lack of a thesaurus, lonely. I miss my person. I don’t miss HIM, just the CONCEPT of him. A partner in crime, an adventure buddy, & a concert date.

I miss having someone hold my hand for times like these.

Anyhoozles. So much pain.

More later