The 07-Ghost character's reactions to getting their hair washed by you
Ayanami isn’t someone who lets other people get super close to him, especially physically. He’s got a sort of hyper-awareness around personal space, both his own and the amount that he’ll allow others. There are some people that try to breach his large personal bubble and encroach on his personal space, as we see in canon – Hyuuga’s a great example. However, Ayanami either reacts with small acts of violence when people do this, if he knows he can get away with it, or he purposefully puts more distance between himself and that person.
There are very, very few people that he feels comfortable enough with to allow them within his personal space and even then, Ayanami doesn’t much enjoy physical touch. A lot of it may be due to his past life as Verloren, where everyone he touched did die and turn into a skeleton but I think there is more to it than that. I think he’s just naturally wary of other people and allowing them close to him, both physically and emotionally, and fears putting himself in any position of vulnerability in front of anyone. On top of that, I think he’s just naturally someone who is a little touch-averse, as it makes him feel uncomfortable and awkward.
Because of this, he’s not going to be someone who would often choose to shower together with a lover or who would choose to let a partner wash his hair for him. He gets his hair cut only by someone he really trusts and even then, he goes into the haircut having just freshly washed his own hair, making sure it’s still damp when he goes in and asking that they just use a spray bottle of water to soak it to the level of wetness that they need to trim his hair.
He just really will try to find ways around needing a lot of physical contact with others and when it comes to washing his hair, it’s something he’d feel much more comfortable doing himself as opposed to allowing someone else to do it for him.
Frau would be someone who would actually really enjoy showering or bathing with his partner. For one thing, it just means another excuse to see his lover naked and he’s all for any time he can make that happen, but even more, he’s someone who feels relaxed and better connected with his partner through little intimate moments like that.
He’s someone who does feel quite a bit of care and love through physical touch, so having a partner wash his hair would be something he’d really be into. The problem is that, while bathing and showering together is something that will happen pretty frequently while in a relationship with Frau, there are some drawbacks to it. The largest drawback is Frau himself. He’s a pretty tall man and it’s not that likely that his partner is going to be as tall as he is – in fact, a lot of the time, they will probably be significantly shorter, as I feel that is the type that Frau would gravitate more towards. It’s a little hard, while showering together, for Frau’s partner to really reach up to his head well enough to wash his hair for him. To do so, they’d often have to stand on their tiptoes, which just isn’t safe in such a slick environment, which is why Frau won’t let them. Of course, he could stoop or bend down to allow them to wash his hair, but that’s not a pleasant position to hold for any length of time.
To replace that intimate connection, Frau would rather ask his partner to wash his back for him or would allow them to soap up as much of his body as they’re willing to…of course, if it leads to other activities in the shower, he’s all for those possibly dangerous situations.
I do think he really likes the feeling of his hair being washed though and it is something he would like to experience more with his partner. If his partner is at all capable of cutting hair, he’ll get them to do so for him. Because his hair either needs to be wet or washed for this to happen, he’ll strip off his shirt and find some way to allow his partner to wash his hair in their sink. If they can’t cut hair, he’ll find some excuse – running late so unable to fully take a shower, for example – to also do the washing the hair in the sink thing. He relaxes into the feeling of his partner’s fingers in his hair as they wash it, closing his eyes and just focusing on the pleasant sensations. He doesn’t want a full scalp massage, but he really likes it if they use their nails in a kind of scratching motion along his scalp to get the shampoo to froth up. It’s his favourite part of the whole experience.
Hyuuga is all about that physical contact. He’s someone who is very touch-oriented by nature and he’s never going to pass up an opportunity for skin-to-skin contact, especially with any partner he has. In fact, he’s going to go out of his way to find excuses to make those things happen, because it does really fill a very large need within him.
He’s someone who really would enjoy showering together with a partner. It’s often not at all sexual in nature with Hyuuga, though, as opposed to someone like Frau. He’s happy to see his partner’s naked body, don’t get me wrong, but Hyuuga enjoys showering together with his partner for mostly non-sexual reasons and it’s incredibly rare for the shared shower to lead to anything naughty. To him, it just builds a sense of intimacy, fun, and allows for a stronger connection between him and his partner.
He’s going to be the type of partner to scoop up some of the bubbly froth while washing his partner’s hair and then slather it onto their nose while laughing, just to be playful and have fun with his partner. However, there can be more serious moments as the shower is the other place, other than late-night pillow talk, where Hyuuga and his partner tend to have long, drawn-out, sometimes serious conversations that allow them to know each other better.
Hyuuga is definitely a little bit of a sook. He loves having his partner not only wash him up in the shower (though he is more than willing to and honestly wants to return the favour to his partner) and to have them wash each other’s hair. Because he has the same issue as Frau, where he’s quite a tall person, he knows it’s not going to be the easiest thing for his partner to do. He doesn’t really want to risk them slipping while trying, so he keeps a bath stool in the shower for just that reason. He’ll happily take a seat, pass his partner the shampoo bottle, close his eyes, and let them do their work.
He gets a little whiny if the shampoo job doesn’t include a nice scalp massage and really enjoys it if his partner, knowing that he carries a lot of his tension there, doesn’t follow up with even a quick rub-down or mini-massage of his neck and shoulders before they rinse him. It’s honestly his favourite part of getting his hair washed.
Ouka is another one who isn’t really going to like having her hair washed by a partner, when she gets one. It’s not because she’s against physical touch or doesn’t want that sense of closeness with her partner, though. Ouka’s going to be someone who does enjoy physical closeness and moments of intimacy with those she loves and who won’t shy away from touching her partner in innocently intimate ways – holding hands, lingering touches, reaching up to push strands of their hair away from their face, giggling as she boops them on the nose or they do so to her, wrapping an arm around them in a side hug or going in for a full hug, joining pinkies together when they can’t fully hold hands. She draws strength and courage from those small, physically intimate moments with her friends and particularly with her partner.
It’s not even that she’s not used to having her hair washed by others. Being raised a royal, it was often the job of one of the servants or one of her ladies-in-waiting to wash her hair for her. She’s even completely comfortable with her hairdresser washing her hair for her – it’s not the action of washing her hair that makes her so uncomfortable with having her partner do it.
What makes Ouka so uncomfortable with having a partner wash her hair for her is that she doesn’t associate the act itself with anything intimate, sweet, or caring. The servants in the royal household washed her hair because they had to, because it was their duty and they’d face severe consequences if they did not. Her hairdresser washed her hair because it was their job. To her, the action of washing someone else’s hair is a job, something that isn’t fun for anyone other than the one getting their hair washed.
Ouka never wants to put her beloved partner in a position where they feel like they have to serve her or where they feel like they’re responsible for her in any way. Not only is she a fiercely independent sort in a way, but she’s always wanted any romantic relationship she does enter into to be one of equals. She doesn’t want her partner to feel responsible for taking care of her, not in that sort of way at least.
In most situations, having his hair washed for him is always going to be a little embarrassing for Teito. It’s a conflicting thing for him, because he will enjoy the feeling of it, but at the same time, he always feels a little like he’s being treated as a kid whenever someone washes his hair for him. That’s just the connotation he associates with the action of having your hair washed for you and he dislikes being treated like a child who can’t do something for himself. It frustrates and embarrasses him and he tends to blush and protest whenever put in those situations.
However, if his hair is being washed for him as part of getting his hair cut or done, he doesn’t really have that same reaction. He can justify it more as being just a part of the person’s job and he is able to allow himself to relax into the pleasant feeling because of that. He allows himself to just focus on them at those times and he’ll really enjoy someone who is gentler when washing his hair. He doesn’t mind some firmness in their hands or a little light scraping of their nails or his scalp, but not too much – he tends to have a sensitive scalp and he finds even a moderate amount of pressure on it feels weird and kind of unpleasant.
When it comes to a partner or lover washing his hair…well, that is definitely not Teito’s thing. While he’ll grow used to letting his partner see his naked body in sexual situations, he’s always going to feel a little awkward and embarrassed in allowing them to see him naked and vulnerable in the small, intimate, non-sexual moments. He’s not going to be the type of person who would want or allow showering or bathing together with his partner – if his partner really wanted a moment like that, Teito would much rather draw his partner a nice bath, putting in the effort to make sure the water is just at the right temperature, that the bath products they prefer are used, and then sitting beside the tub and talking to them while they enjoy the bath.