#avory shepard

Kaidan chuckles again and, though it's aimed at the floor, the smile he wears is for her, and it makes her stomach flip. Even though her whole body aches. Even though she’s pissed off that she’s not as good at planks as he is.

Sure, there are plenty of other things she’s better at, but it’s such a simple exercise and Shepard has always been a competitive asshole. Just like she’s always enjoyed seeing someone in their element. And Kaidan Alenko is in his element now.

By now, she’s had the chance to witness his abilities plenty of times, and each time is more impressive than the last. But it’s usually on the battlefield or in some sort of crisis, when there are lives on the line and no time to sit back and watch and enjoy. Right now, there’s time.

Reaching his limit, his body shakes, his brow furrows, and his breathing comes forced, deliberate. But he keeps going, his body held captive by his mind. His endurance is impressive. As is his physique. With his lats spread broad, his shirt stretches tight across the contours of the muscles of his upper back.

“You know,” Kadian eases out of his plank into child’s pose and Shepard tries not to stare at his arms. “It's a lot harder to concentrate when you’re staring at me.”

Shepard cracks a smile. “Didn’t think you folded that easily.”

“I lasted longer than you.” His quip is good natured, but she can see the moment he remembers their ranks and he quickly adds, “Commander.”

“Alright, Alenko.” She maneuvers onto her knees. “Best four out of six.”

Fuck. Her abs cramp at the thought of going six sets of fucking planks, but if they did two out of three, he’d already have her beat, and she has plans to throw the third round.

Kaidan comes to his knees as well and raises an eyebrow. “What are the stakes?”

Shepard hopes her grin looks devilish, calculated, they way it needs to look to hide the way her stomach flips again. “Depends. What are you willing to lose?”

He huffs a laugh, then grows serious. His eyes search hers and she feels like she’s being read like a fucking book. There are rumors around the ship that Alenko is a hell of a card shark. The way he’s looking at her now, she believes it.

Finally, he challenges,“Latrine duty. A full week.”

She purses her lips. “That’s a hell of a bet.”

“I don’t intend to lose.”

It’s Shepard’s turn to laugh. So he’s a competitive asshole too.

Good.

“Deal.”

They shake on it and drop to their bellies, ready to hoist themselves into position on Kaidan’s count. Kaidan - the cocky fucker - lifts himself into a plank on two, while Shepard waits until the last possible second. She waits another ten seconds before failing.

“Really, Shepard?” Kaidan asks, glancing sideways. “Are you looking forward to scrubbing toilets?”

“I’m not going to be scrubbing anything.” Shepard stands, then folds herself in half until her hands are flat against the floor on either side of her feet.

As she expected, Kaidan continues to hold his plank, and she smiles as she presses into her hands and slowly raises her legs into the air, until her toes point to the sky.

“What are you-”

“I’m curious.” She answers.

Kaidan’s eyes are on her as she starts to walk around on her hands. Shepard is grateful she knotted her hair into a bun today instead of her usual ponytail; maneuvering around hair is one thing, but trying to do so with Kaidan watching her probably would’ve meant falling on her face.

“About?”

“How long I can fuck around before you break.” She answers.

Kaidan breathes a laugh. “This a test, ma’am?”

“Not an official one.”

Shepard turns a circle on her hands. When she is facing toward him again, Kaidan is out of position. Her brows furrow. She opens her mouth to express her disappointment, but the words die on her tongue as Kaidan propels himself forward and onto his hands. He spins as well, so he’s facing her, and meeting his eye while they’re both upside down makes her laugh. Loudly, freely. Carelessly enough that her body shakes and she almost loses her balance.

Kaidan’s smile makes her arms weak. “How am I doing?”

“Aside from losing sight of the mission objective?”

There’s a shrug in his voice when he answers, “Parameters changed.”

He has a point. He always does.

“Points for adaptability, then.”

Shepard ups the ante by splitting her legs for more stability and taking one hand up at a time, tapping each shoulder in an alternating pattern. Kaidan responds by doing the same, though it’s shaky at first as he figures out the balance. When she stops, he does as well.

“I should’ve known you’d be into calisthenics.”

“What about you?” He shoots back. “Don’t tell me you were a gymnast.”

Shepard barks a laugh and her core is pissed. “Not a lot of gymnasiums available to street urchins. I had to find another way to train abs that wasn’t so fucking boring.”

A smile - fiercely genuine and slow to spread - stretches across both their faces simultaneously, and warmth washes over her like sinking into a hot bath after a hard fight. It felt so good, so soothing, she could soak in it all day, until she was more prune than person. It would be so easy. It could be that simple.

“Impressive, Shepard, but handstands aren’t going to win you the bet.”

“No, it won’t.”

It’s not about the bet anymore. She knows he’s three for three. She also knows she can withstand enough torture to force herself to win the next four, no matter what. For now, she wants to see just how far he can go.

Shepard fills her lungs, enjoys Kaidan’s watchful eye one more time before locking her eyes on the floor between her hands, and breathes out, long and slow. It takes the entire length of her exhale for her to come into a straddle, every muscle shaking under the strain. Her back to him now, she lets herself grimace as she eases herself onto the floor and off her hands. Splits feel comfortable compared to the pain she just put her stomach through. Reaching forward, she leans into the stretch until she’s flat on her stomach, and brings her legs together again.

There’s a soft thud behind her.

When she looks over her shoulder, Kaidan is seated on the ground.

“Couldn’t manage the straddle, Alenko?” She teases, flipping around so that she’s seated and facing him.

“Never could master the splits, either.”

Kaidan’s bronze skin is flushed red, his cheeks warm even under the harsh fluorescent lights of Normandy’s gymnasium.

Shepard raises a concerned brow. “You good, Alenko?”

“Yeah, I uh…” his expression shifts from one she could not recognize to one she is familiar with. Careful, controlled. The exact right amount of professional and friendly. “Bit of a head rush from being upside down for so long.” Some of that control slips away and he asks, “I thought you weren’t a gymnast?”

“I’m not.” Shepard smiles. “But I was at basic with one. I may have learned a few things.”

Kaidan shakes his head as he chuckles, which only makes Shepard’s smile stronger.

An instructor once told Shepard that simple didn’t mean easy.

Planks.

Losing.

Following fraternization regs.

Simple.

A little dirty, splattered blood dried on their clothes and soot smeared on their faces, but they were alive and standing and, from what she could tell, didn’t look injured. They stared at her, wide eyed, as she took them in.

"Thank fuck you’re okay." For once, Shepard didn't hide the emotion in her voice. She didn't have the energy. She didn't give a fuck. They were alive. Tali gaped at her. Shepard's brow furrowed as she looked her up and down. "You are okay?"

Tali gulped and nodded, horror etching deep lines into her young face.

Shepard placed her hands on her shoulders and scanned her face. Tali's saddened expression only deepened. Avory tried to look reassuring. Once they were out, they could deal with the internal wounds. 

She shifted from Tali to Kaidan and her brow furrowed further at the look he gave her. Like he was seeing the ghost of a past lover gone too early. He was so pale - fuck, if those Cerberus fucks had made him lose that much blood - his tanned complexion completely washed out and replaced with bittersweet despair. 

"Hey," she placed her hands on each side of his neck and stepped close. "You good?"

Kaidan's chin quivered and his eyes fell, briefly, but he nodded. His hands appeared on her arms, calloused palms unnaturally light, a ghosting. He was hesitant. Reluctant.

Here, now, coming back from the brink of death, he was still so cautious.

She lowered her eyes to watch as his fingertips trailed lightly over her arms, lingering at every purple splotch, each red line and pock mark, all the way up to her shoulders. Drinking in every injury. Avory looked over him as well; his mostly clean clothes, the weapons secured around his waist. Any visible wounds had been there since before she’d been taken. Understanding crinkled at the corner of her eyes. Her breath quickened. 

Kai Leng had lied to her. 

They’d never been here. 

Those screams she’d heard, the lives he’d taunted her with, hadn’t been theirs.

Her fingernails poked at his neck. 

When she was moving, she could forget about the blood leaking from her side, from her thigh. Standing still, it was cold and damp and tacky. With every fresh ebb, her energy drained.

Kaidan met her eye and cupped his hands on either side of her neck, warm hands like ice against the rope burn around her throat. Standing still, she was exhausted. 

Kai leng had lied to her and she'd fucking fallen for it.

"Shepard," his whisper was a sledge hammer to her fucking knees. 

They were never held here. Cerberus hadn't touched them. 

God, she was so fucking tired.

"It’s alright," he said, thumb brushing along her jaw. A light squeeze on the back of her neck and she tipped her head forward, coming to rest her forehead against his with a soft thud. Grime and sweat and crust of her skin against his made her feel dirtier than weeks without bathing. "We're all alright."

Kaidan's familiar rasp was music to her ears. Fuck, she thought she'd never hear it again.

She exhaled shakily into the scant space between them. "Where are the others?"

"With Mir-"

"Waitin' on you," Kaidan interrupted Tali, his humor forced but still comforting.

Avory snorted a laugh and her side spasmed, forcing her to cling to Kaidan to keep herself upright. Her toes dug into the dirt. "Fuck.” She closed her eyes against the dizziness. “Smartass."

Get fuckin’ goin’.

Kaidan straightened and he touched her side gently. His fingers came away bloody.

"Avory," his tone commanded her full attention, "can you-"

She cut him off with a nod. "I'm fine." If she didn’t move soon, her body would fail her completely. “Fuck,” she looked over her shoulder, “I need my knife.”

It still laid in the dirt where she’d dropped it. Five feet might as well have been five miles. Just looking at it exhausted her.

“Got it.” Tali jogged to retrieve it and handed it to her handle first.

Gravity pulled too strongly on her left side and Avory stumbled with her first step.

“Easy,” Kaidan swooped in, catching her with an arm around her waist, careful to avoid the wound on her side. 

“I’m fine.” Weak even to her own ears. Her voice was so tight, made hoarse from screaming. From choking.

“We need to go and you need help.” He nodded at the blade in her right hand. “Lean on me and you can still have that hand for stabbing.”

It was an acceptable compromise. Maybe one day she’d tell him how much she appreciated him not scooping her up and carrying her out, for allowing the single shred of dignity she had left to stay intact. Maybe. As his arm tightened around her waist, she had a feeling he already knew what it meant to her. 

Kaidan looked down at her, his lips tight, his brow creased. Not at her, but at what had been done to her. She would’ve smacked him for it if there had been a hint of pity. But there wasn’t. There was only hurt, and rage, and determination. She almost hoped they ran into some Cerberus asshole just so she could watch him cut loose.

“Let’s get you the fuck out of here.”