just blocked a perfectly nice guy because he was interested in my life
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just blocked a perfectly nice guy because he was interested in my life

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trying not to commit #2
i forgot about this im such an idiot
i went to the concert and it was great. im actually glad i decided to go. i got to drink and smoke finally. ive been feeling slightly better except feeling so tired physically. probably because ive been busying my brain with games and other stupid stuff. im watching horse races now its been awesome
i had a nightmare this morning and i woke up shaking but it didn't last long. so then i went back to sleeping.
overall im the same nothing changed i still want to kms but i cant. oh and im so fucking ugly i lost more weight now im 39 kg and it just made me uglier i should just die i cant keep going
i really messed up and miss him. (tbf i dont even know which one im even talking about atp, bc i pushed away every one of them bc i was such a scaredy cat) 💕💕
whats that curse you get once you reject someone, and they find someone else, and you realise you actually want them and you cant stop thinking about them and if yiur past self saw you now they would be like what is happening and why now ???????????/

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Cigarettes after sex playing in the background while you and stanley are being vulnerable to eachother in your shared bedroom in the dark which is a very deep and emotional moment for both of you because stanley or maybe both of you usually dont stay "emotional" bc the idea of being vulnerable to another person scares you.
im genuinely evil