#averinna

I don't want to undermine their first love

Hi :)

How to write a second love

To write a couple where one or both of them lost a previous partner, it is important to convey that their relationships and loves don't compete, they coexist.

Let the former love be a part of their lives

It can't be erased and it shouldn't be hidden. It shaped who they are and made them into the person the later lover fell in love with.

Ways to incorporate the former relationships:

Casually mentioning a song that has a meaning for the former relationship

Having a picture of the deceased partner present

Both new partners holding contact with the deceased partner's family and getting accepted by them

The new partner thinking of the deceased partner when it comes to anniversaries

Listening to their partner sharing about their life with the deceased partner.

Still holding onto their wedding band - now around the neck as a necklace or at a specific place in the shared home

Both partners being interested in the former partner's life, keeping their memory alive and honoring and accepting them in little ways.

You can also show how both relationships are different. Not better or less than, just different.

Grief can exist next to love

Grief does not suddenly disappear when someone new comes into their life. It's important to portray that there is the possibility of loving someone new while still grieving for the love they have lost. The new partner can listen to their partner's grief, validate it and built them up again.

I hope this helps!

How do you feel at pride month? Usually I feel depressed because it make me feel isolated. It's the perfect month to see how the support for aro and ace people is performative.

I also feel less human in general. So I'm never "proud". In contrary, I want to hide.

hgufjkglnfd Oh I replied the more recent one before this one, sorry TwT

Typically... I'm OK. The support is definitely performative, but as far as I'm concerned I still think it's better than ignoring us completely like a few years ago, or dismissing us. It's still like... Not there, so there's much progress to be done. But I guess lots of forms of progress have the annoying growing pains on the side of the discriminating party.

thank u!! tbh i think it's because Modulo in general is not that popular outside of core fans circle of jjk??? if that makes sense???

I appreciate it — I'm honestly kind of flabbergasted by this guy. He thinks that getting victims of assault to compartmentalize their abuse is somehow a good thing and that's wild to me.

Yeah... For me, there is a lot about the mha ending that feels very twisted. 🥲

The story ends with everything kept the same as before, and none of the problems that are brought up during the story are resolved in a satisfying way. If anything, fan backlash is why some of the ending later got redacted, changed, or given a more "positive" outlook compared to how it was posted originally.

I never associated romance to my life until I had a crush once which make me doubt that I am fully aro but I still think that my approach in life at least fit.

And see I dislike the idea that it means that you're naive or even childish, because love is stuff for adults.

In the same time I keep wondering if it's really what's the world turns around when you're not in the aro spectrum. That feel reductive to me.

You know how "love" is a universal theme but for one it obviously mean romantic love and second, I think that feelings in general will be universal themes each on their own...?

I don't understand why this chase of only one another as only salvation in existence is something that never been questioned without casting it as being negative

...Iiiiiit's also almost like patriarchal societies have made it WAY EASIER to financially get by as an adult if you're romantically involved with another person FOR SOME REASON and MAYBE that also doesn't help matters when it comes to this topic... HMMMMM

But yeah. Having a less reductive definition of love and more varied priorities in life than the one thing the most common denominator is chasing all the time being labeled "childish" is kinda crazy work and betrays a big lack of self-reflection. Sometimes I wonder if in some cases it's cope, like how people will label having creativity and joy in one's life "being childish".