my adhd; going to bed at 3 am

Idk if it's just me or if it's a autistic thing in general, but here's something i noticed :

Neurotypicals tend to have more interpersonal/external problems. When they talk about their life issues, it's often about other people, conflicts, misunderstandings, relationship drama, pressure from family, friends, or society... they're mostly external things.

Meanwhile autistic/AuDHD people (at least from what I've seen, including myself) tend to deal with intrapersonal/internal problems. I do have external problems too, but they're rare... My main struggles are like emotional dysregulations, self-hatred, feeling isolated, masking, sensory issues, burnout, etc. It's quite hard to talk about these with neurotypicals when they don't experience them. But i always understand their side...

Like whenever i hear neurotypicals talk about their problems, i always think "wow their problems are real. I can't imagine being in their situation" because they deal with external issues, like real people issues. And somehow that makes my internal struggles feel less valid, like it's just nothing compare them.

And because I rarely experience interpersonal problems, I’m actually more vulnerable when external problems do happen. People who don't understand would assume it's dramatic.

made by me: @72sinkingships

Applied behavior analysis (ABA) is one of the first and most common interventions recommended for autistic children.

So apparently I have shutdowns?

I didn't realised it until now. It's not happening to me very often I'm shutting down but it happened to me today. We returned to college after two weeks of studying from our houses and it is so exhausting to me to be near other students and mask again.

I'm not part of their loop, I'm not part of them. They are all friends with each other and it might have look like I have a proper relationship with them. We hug, we talk, I'm driving with them, we are helping each other, it seems good. But it's not. I feel like an outsider, they are going to the gym together and study for exams. I never understand how they are suddenly doing this, how they start doing this? Why it worked for them and not me?

The students always try to skip classes and don't take college seriously. They do their works with AI and not even try, while I'm working so hard and using so much energy to do them. I don't want to cheat or doing shortcuts, I want to keep my values but no one else care about this stuff and my sense of justice is blocking me from doing some of assignments I have.

Reminder that me wearing my noise cancelling headphones around and behind my ears in case there is a loud noise is not a privilege!

Don't be the coworker who bullied your autistic coworker because you think they're getting away with something. They're likely just like me and know how to cope with their surroundings that aren't made to accommodate people like them.

I work in an escape room and when people get out they can be really loud. Loud noises overwhelm me. Easier to just slide my headphones over my ears and continue doing my job than to break out into hysteria because the sound made it so I can feel my body being set on fire and suddenly the fabric of my shirt is made of needles.