#atydsp

Hi friends!!! I haven't used tumblr in YEARS, and this was an old poetry blog I made when I was like 15, but it's the only anonymous account I have, and I wanna be anon for now while still getting this out there as much as I can (cuz it's been hella work and I want people who want it to have it). I joined this fandom back in January, reading this fic specifically just cuz I wanted Sirius's POV of Harry Potter. In conclusion it ended up destroying my soul (and getting me really into David Bowie). Anyway, in my hyperfixation of searching this stuff up on YouTube, I noticed that it appears no one ever completed an audiobook version of this fic. So because I am insane and the autistic hyperfixations don't know when to quit, I decided fuck it imma do it myself. I put this on reddit when I first started posting, but now that I'm a good way through, I've decided to put it on here as well!! Feel free to share it where ever you want with whoever you want.

You can find my YouTube channel for the fic here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBLUTO5aXtG_x1Jw6wJidwQ

Or if you would rather listen to it on Spotify, it is here: https://open.spotify.com/show/033pNJ8HKlGrEcGS6sFkz6?si=Zk33GyCsTkOCnGslddyaLw

Years 1-4 (aka book 1) are all available now. I post as often as I can (mostly everyday, although I will skip days sometimes cuz I do have a life and am either very busy or very tired). My goal is to do the entire thing to the best of my ability cuz this fic is so amazingly done and yes physically reading 188 chapters can be a lot for some people, that's why audiobooks exist in the first place.

And lastly, and most importantly, this fic was written by the amazing @rollercoasterwords (I debated tagging them cuz that's scary but like they deserve proper credit like this) and is of course based on the original All the Young Dudes fic by MsKingBean89. Obviously I'm not making any money from this, it's purely a fun little hobby.

Please leave comments if ya want or just follow along, I love chatting with people and discussing stories like this :)

hmmm honestly that was not a question/detail i had in mind while writing so can’t say it shaped how i wrote the actual character. however considering that question now i’m inclined to say that he may have just not come across that info…? idk did i write in there that he was reading articles about bowie i feel like he mostly just saw pictures of him & listened to his music but it’s 100% possible that i threw in something about him reading articles & have just forgotten atp lol. but my thoughts are 1) i don’t think he would have actually had much access to information/articles abt bowie until maybe the time he left home at which point 2) i think it’s entirely plausible that he might not know the word “bisexual” or what it meant at least at first. like i can imagine him reading an article where bowie talks abt being bisexual & interpreting that as meaning he fucks a lot or enjoys threesomes or something lol 3) assuming he knew/eventually learned abt “bisexuality” i think his initial instinct would be to just go “oh well he’s a rockstar so it’s different for him” but i do think that nugget of information would worm its way into his brain & he would be like. well wait a second that’s an option…& maybe knowing someone he idolized was queer would help him with some of his own internalized homophobia. however i do think if that boy (at least as i wrote him) had had someone explain bisexuality to him it could have also in a way prevented him from accepting his own queerness in that he might latch on to that label and be like well of course i want to fuck women like a regular guy i just also like men. but i don’t need to have any serious relationships with men because ultimately i can only have serious relationships with women. so. (this is not a slight against bisexuality just recognition of the fact that while that label can be freeing for some it can cause others to sort of latch onto the idea that they can ignore or underplay their homosexuality when in truth “bisexual” might not be the best label to describe their desires etc.)

ultimately in my version of the story i was writing sirius as a closeted gay boy and not bisexual (although of course people reading the story can interpret his character however they want). & i was writing a story about a boy trying to come to terms with his homosexuality without ever sitting down and having a conversation or being given the language to parse terms like “heterosexual,” “homosexual,” “bisexual,” etc. of course those labels existed in the 70s but they did not really circulate in the same ways they do today & given the context of his environment this was not a character for whom those labels held much weight, and that is why i purposely never really had him have a “coming out” moment where he Selects A Label etc. i think as an adult he still would have been uncomfortable labeling himself as a homosexual tbh like i don’t think he ever got to fully work through the internalized homophobia & it was always safer & more comfortable for him to sort of skirt around the idea of identity & just not examine it too closely. so it’s entirely possible that if he came across info about bowie being queer he might go wow cool but then just sort of put it aside and not think too much about how or why that might apply to his own situation etc.

The way you write Regulus is also perfection. I LOVED his 2 pov bits that you have and every scene he was in just shattered me. Perhaps you've been asked this before, but if not I shall ask it now. Would you ever consider writing Regulus's death scene from his pov??? Just a little short story of him going to the cave. And if I'm being dumb and you already have then please link it cuz I'm dying to read that. He's such a tragically complex character and you captured him so perfectly I would trust you the most in writing something like that from his pov :)

hi ty for the kind words i’m glad u liked the fic!! hope u enjoy the original as well i think it’s truly fantastic <3

genuinely crazy like it’s been 4 years….🚬🚬 happy 2 know u have continued to enjoy my writing tho it’s actually wild to me that someone would stick around for so long!!