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i can’t win
born to be eternally devoted, forced to be anxiously attached
I LOVE how the show pushes Nick's obsessive attatchement to Charlie, we can see it in the books yet no one really talks about it or notices it but in the show it's being smeared in our faces so we have to see it. We can see that Nick isn't okay and that makes sense! He had only recently discovered himself he doesn't feel like he needs to hide who he is or pretend to be something he's not he can be comfortable and Charlie helped him find that.part of him.so.ofciurse he's going to be reliant on Charlie! Because he's been hiding for so long he doesn't know who he is anymore and he relies on Charlie to help him build this new part of himself.
Charlie helped Nick wake up. Helped Nick find himself. So when Charlie leaves Nick can't help but question if he's even allowed to be himself without Charlie he can't help but question if he is only himself with Charlie and if he is anything without Charlie.
The time without Charlie was tough and emotional but also what Nick needed if he stayed with his unhealthy attatchement to Charlie permanently then it would only fester into something more drastic. Nick feels like he needs Charlie but "one person can't cure mental illness." Nick is Ill. He loves Charlie but his attatchement is unhealthy and I think that's what he realizes durig their time apart.
He loves Charlie, he loves Charlie so much, but he can't make Charlie his everything. He needs to be himself even when Charlie isn't around.
Don't make one person your everything, even if you love them. You need to be you outside of them.
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Kanan delegating the planning for Hera's rescue to Ezra is SO good- both because it shows what healthy attachment looks like- he knows that his feelings for Hera will cloud his judgement, so he acknowledges that, and doesn't even put himself in a position where he could make a mistake because of that- and also because it shows just how much he trusts Ezra and I just- ugh I love them all so much 😭❤️
wait no come back I know I'm supposed to say something and text first but stilllll 🥺🥺🥺
reminding myself rn to not get attached to someone who doesn't even want me back!!!!
