#atenean!reader

Karina believes she’s going insane.

within the 3 years of being friends with you has she decided to hurt herself in everything that involves you. any lingering eye contact, hands brushing past each other, or being left alone within the same vicinity. not a moment has she thought of;

i need to get away from you.

three years ago, Karina would have done everything in her power to stay close to the new face in her life. 16 years old with a dream - that involves a girl from the STEM section with such willpower and dedication that makes her think she isn’t reaching as high as that girl.

Karina met you in the most unpredictable way possible - last minute paskuhan date with her friend group and your group together. 

to you, it was a dream come true to meet the girl in the HUMSS section who has preoccupied your mind for the past month. you’re lucky enough that your friend is close with her group to help you grow some pairs and talk to Karina.

it started with force proximity, talking the night away and singing along to the songs that for once, you don't feel like it’s draining your system. sure, she’s a bit talkative but you don’t mind. it gives you a glimpse of her mind as you’re fascinated to hear such stories and theories. she’s a bright girl who went through a lot and you couldn’t believe that all of that information was dumped into one night alone. who would have thought despite her tough exterior she’s lowkey a loser who gushes at the smallest things.

a quick exchange of socials lead to a few study dates, late night dinners, staying over at your place, and a bit of tension here and there. she’d complain about the amount of papers she’s doing while you sat there with multiple computations for calculus and statistics, a rare chance where she’d ask for your help with the statistics of the paper she’s reading - the same way you’d ask her to check if your paper is making any sense at all.

things were slow but it was clear as daylight you both liked each other - problem was that you’re a bit dense with your feelings. you swear that Karina doesn’t like you that way with the way she spends her time with Minjeong that you simply bite the inside of your cheek to not say anything at all.

“antanga mo, sabi nang ikaw crush ni Rina.” Minjeong rolled her eyes as she held onto your shoulders and shook you. watching the way you were sulking at your place and avoiding replying to Karina for the past two days.

“what if hindi ha! you’re making me delulu!” you held her by the wrists to stop the shaking, then leaned back on your chair as you looked back up at Minjeong.

“tangina mo! be delulu for once - might be worth it.”

you rolled your eyes as Minjeong crossed her arm and handed your phone with Karina’s contact open. looking at the girl then back at the phone as you called Karina, flipping Minjeong off who had a smug smile.

it took about four rings for her to pick up, her sweet voice that sounded a bit deeper than usual. your heartbeat slowly picks up its pace as you realise what this was about.

“hello?”

“Rina, hi!”

silence. Minjeong was pacing around your room as she urged you to say something - to continue what you had finally started. with a deep breath, eyes closed, and your hand fidgeting; she had broken the silence.

“are you mad at me?” you opened your eyes and abruptly stood up as you repeatedly told her ‘no’. hand running through your hair as you stood there, a bit panicked by the question.

“gosh, Rina. no, i’m not mad at you. i just-“ deep breaths, Minjeong was gesturing you to copy her. a slow deep breath then exhales as you finally sit down on your chair. hand still in your hair as you closed your eyes.

“i had some personal stuff to deal with.” you weren’t sure if Karina heard Minjeong smack her forehead as she muttered something under her breath as she decided to close the divider of your bedroom to the living room.

“oh, are you feeling better now?”

“... a bit.” you were hesitant to admit anything or initiate when it came to karina. but you knew that you needed to tell her the truth someday. ”can we talk?”

it only took a few minutes for you and Karina to settle in a place to meet up, since she’s staying at the other side of UST. you decided on picking her up and going to a nearby cafe to get coffee.

in your hand was a bag of your orders, walking at a moderate pace with a space in between you two that everytime karina moves closer, you back away. there’s a bit of awkward silence, you initiated this but you can’t say anything towards the girl you’ve been avoiding for weeks.

everytime you open your mouth, it immediately closes shut as if you’re speechless. you don’t know how to start or what to say.

“you know, minjeong told me.” that’s one way of breaking the ice.

“ha? ano?” the way you turned to look at her almost gave you whiplash. blinking as you processed what karina said. what do you mean minjeong told you?

she began telling you how it all happened. starting off from how she noticed you were slowly growing distant and avoiding her as if she carried some sort of disease. until minjeong confronted you and made you open up - admitting your feelings for the top student in the HUMSS strand and how you wish not to interfere with whatever “relationship” she has with minjeong.

the walk to her place as she told you the story made you two slowly get closer once again. karina had linked your arms together as she opens the door to her place, about to head in when she noticed you standing still with your cheeks puffed out and a pout on your lips.

“why are you pouting?” karina gently pulled you inside, closing the door as your head hung low to avoid looking directly at her.

“... its nothing.”

“nothing my ass, you’re pouting.”

karina couldn’t hear your confession, a quiet mutter, with your gaze going anywhere and everywhere just not directly at her. you felt soft hands cup your cheek, a soft giggle, then a pinch.

“spill it, y/n.”  she lets go, gently caressing the cheek she pinched as she looked at you - that smile could instantly kill you, almost giving you a heart attack with how pretty she is.

“gusto kita - i like you, Karina.” it's easy, simple, and straight to the point that karina didn’t waste a second to kiss you on the cheek and mutter those same exact words onto your ear like a secret.

you’d think it's a happy ending, you and karina would start to date but she had asked you to wait. it wasn’t because karina wasn’t ready for a relationship - priorities had to be set straight unlike you two. graduating high school was there followed by getting into their respective dream university. karina wants to go to UP while following your parents who were alumni of the famous blue eagles, you had no choice but to try and pass in Ateneo.

after senior high, karina pursued her major in communication research - wishing to take it as a pre-law course. while you followed your parents wishes in taking a science related course as pre-med - you’re questioning why you picked biology in the first place.

it was set straight between you two that it would be a waiting game, one that you agreed upon without any regrets. you didn’t mind, it was evidently clear that your priorities were different; karina wanted to focus on academics and graduate on time while you had a perfect balance between academic and karina as your top priorities. she has her reasons, one of which was to provide for her family as soon as possible. while this isn’t a struggle nor a priority for you, there is also the understanding that not everyone is as blessed as you are.

still karina needed the time to focus on her classes, despite both sides of the family being well aware that you’re courting her. does it bother you that she sets you aside? no, you understand that karina has priorities set straight and even if you’re not on the top - you know she still likes you.

its a give and take relationship, you both need each other for varying reasons. emotional support? you both can provide it. need a reminder to take a rest when overwhelmed? again, you both provide. even if karina doesn’t have you as her top priority, she still cares about you enough to take your feelings into consideration when she needs to make a decision.

2 years of courting her, almost turning three now that you’re in your second year of college. things can get a bit more hectic, especially how karina is taking more classes to finish early, slowly losing time for you. similarly, you understand where she’s coming from, you update her here and there - she does the same thing but not as frequently as you.

“mahal, sorry, may deadline na naman. resched?” you looked at the message again, sighing as you stood in front of her place. taking a quick picture of the coffee and dinner you had bought for you two.

“mind if i join you in studying tonight?” it didn’t take long for karina to come rushing down to greet you, arms around your neck as she basically threw herself at you. using one arm around her waist as she hid her head on the crook of your neck. a quiet mutter of ‘i missed you’ coming from the iskolar and the atenean being exchanged.

after your study date with karina, you dropped karina off the morning after as you had class later in the afternoon, giving you enough time to freshen up. your family was on the high class side, it didn't take long for your mother to greet you herself with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. it was another earful early in the morning as she walked towards you.

“were you at that girl’s place again?” that girl being karina, only recently your mom suddenly disliked her. at first, your parents didn’t really mind. believing it wouldn’t last this long but here you are, in your second year of college and still waiting for karina. that was how you thought of it - you weren’t too sure when your parents started to compare karina or pressuring you into dating someone that had a much higher social status than karina’s family.

“why can’t you date a nice boy taking business or a-“

“nepo baby?”

your mom hated that term, but that was what she wanted. a nice boy with a high social status, someone with power, just everything being handed to him. you never wanted that, hated it because you grew up working hard to achieve the things you want that money can’t buy. one of which is karina’s feelings for you, waiting game or not - you would give everything for her.

“out of all the people in your class, why her? she’s just a middle class girl who pl-“

“ma, stop. i don’t want to have this conversation.” you left your mother, not before you noticed a guy in the living room holding a bouquet. a quick glance at your mother as the guy tried to approach you, immediately stopping him as you walked away.

your parents have tried a bunch of tactics; blind dates, setting you up with one of their friends, and sabotaging your dates with karina. despite your mother following you up the stairs and to your room, you can’t take it anymore. how they belittle karina, always trying to set you up, it doesn’t help there’s always the pressure of finishing on top of your classes.

you had enough.

the next time you saw karina during her very few free days, you planned to take her out on a date. rewarding her for her hard work in her classes and getting high grades.

karina sat in the passenger seat as you fixed your stuff in the back, getting a few items ready for your quick little trip to the mall. her hands fidgeting the matching bracelet you got for her birthday, observing you through the rear-view mirror, which you caught sight of. that soft smile, similar to when you were in 11th grade - the very same one but you’re losing your teenage features. face much more defined as you lose those baby fat, styled your hair that fits you, and dressed much more casually and comfortably.

still she can’t help but fidget, there’s a lump in her throat that she can’t swallow; was she really going to tell you everything that has been going on for the past few months? she wasn’t even sure if this would change your perspective of her, especially how it involves your parents. your mom, specifically.

“rina? earth to karina?” she snapped out of her thoughts as she noticed your hand waving in front of her. quickly flashing a smile but you’ve known her long enough to pick up on her habits, especially whenever she’s deep in thought.

“something wrong?” she shook her head, muttering a ‘its nothing’, tilting your head to the side as you moved a bit closer, taking a closer look of her features.

“nothing my ass, rina. what’s running in that pretty mind of yours?” karina could never lie, or keep a secret for so long but this was a big thing, one that could jeopardise your relationship with your parents (that she wasn’t aware is already ruined).

you weren’t going to force her into telling you, so you just took her hand as you finally drove off. not even five minutes in, karina squeezed your hand two times - a sign that she’s ready to talk. reciprocating the action, she slowly turned towards you then to the road.

“i think we should see other people.” you have never almost crashed with karina as your passenger but that coming out of her mouth almost made you press the brakes in the middle of edsa road. shaking the feeling off as you look for the nearest cafe to park and discuss this not while you’re driving.

“no.”“no? y/n, what do you mean no? this is not up for discu-” karina has never seen you cry, a few tears here and there but not this badly. bloodshot, snot on your nose, it's ugly crying and not the cute type.

although it was funny how you tried to not look at karina with your back facing her when she could see it through the reflection of the car window on how badly you’re crying. hearing you sniffle as well was a dead giveaway.

“could you tell me why…” still holding back the tears that are endlessly streaming down your face, and messily wiping your nose with your handkerchief - there were a lot of questions running in your mind.

“i love you…” karina tried to cup your cheek, your gaze avoiding her eyes as she’s trying to hold back her own tears. “... but i don’t think i’m the best fit for what your parents are looking for.”

“what?” what does she mean by your parents? what did it all mean when she said those three words that you’ve been waiting to hear for who knows when?

“you deserve someone of high class, one that could provide for you - not you providing for me–” one way to shut karina up was always to kiss her, and this time was not an exemption. your lips on top of her soft ones that always taste like strawberries was all it took for karina to stop and slowly kiss you back.

“no, i don’t. i want you - only you so please.” it felt like you were slipping away from her grasp, like water just passing through the gaps of her fingers that she desperately tries to catch and save. “please… i don’t want to lose you… just tell me why.”

karina nodded, taking your hands with her own as she told you everything. starting with your mother’s threats, trying to pay her thousands of pesos to make her leave you alone. even fabricated photos of you going on dates with some guy but she always knew those were fake. you were always with her, even after family events or business events from your parents - home has always been karina for the past two years.

it didn’t end there, your mother had always favored your other friends, one’s that you’ve long left behind because they had always used you for their own benefits. karina had mentioned how one of them messaged her and sent pictures of you sleeping in your room - again it was an old picture because your hair in those never matched with your current one.

she spilled it all, how it started a couple of months ago - the comparisons, the comments, and the threats. she never accepted any of those until it overwhelmed her. it was happening around the same time she was swamped with deadlines from classes and orgwork that she slowly tried to push you away. taking in more work to lessen your time together all because she knew deep inside that your mother was right.

you wiped away your tears, after karina had told you the entire story, the drama and issue with your very own mother as you pulled her in for a hug. you didn’t know this was happening or what your own mother was doing to the girl you love oh so deeply.

“jimin… i don’t care what my parents say-” you rarely called her by her first name, she doesn’t like it but when you say her name in a soft whisper, everything else seems to fade away. ”my heart belongs to you and i’m not gonna give up that easily”

that was all karina needed to hear, she was so close to giving you up for some guy that your parents would set you up with but hearing you say that. it felt like sweet relief knowing that you’ll fight for her against your parents wishes.

“i love you, i don’t care about the status quo or what my parents want - it’s my life. i make my own decisions and each one involves you.”

karina had decided earlier that day to hurt herself, to let you go and set you free from dating a low class (as your mother had called her) and finding someone better. she thought she was going crazy into thinking that she needed to get away from you. when all she truly needed was for you to reassure her from all the mess that has been thrown her way.

“stay.”

yeji is not the biggest fan of possibly getting hit in the face by a ball. especially at a speed that is quite disturbing that she won’t be able to react fast enough.

here she is, getting ready for her second meeting in class, but there’s a new face. a part of her  assumed she was absent during the first meeting. yeji is unsure if she’s a student who isn’t wearing the discussed shirt assigned to the class or if she was a senior. she’s aware of the amount of past students the coach allows to join the class to teach dodgeball but it’s the first she’s seen your face. taking notice that you’re closer to the coach more compared to the rest of the so-called seniors of the class.

you have the face card but she would have been familiar with your face by the school’s freedom wall now because who wouldn’t have a crush on you. although she sees some resemblance between you and the coach that makes her think that you two could be related. during attendance, you were calling out names, somewhat getting to familiarize the students?

“hwang?” you look at the group seated on the floor, until your gaze stops at the girl who’s hand is raised.

“present!” to others this was nothing but to yeji, seeing you look at her with a smile, nodding in confirmation that you heard her and continuing on. she felt something in her heart, one she’s unsure of.

the following meetings you were there to help and coach the girl’s team as the boys played to their heart's content. yeji notices that your jerseys or sportswear isn’t from DLSU but from a different school, so it wasn't uncommon for people to be wearing their old Ateneo jersey. especially if you’re just visiting.

“ah- she’s from ateneo.” one of yeji’s classmates confirms as you run around and play with the rest of the class. somehow even if you're sweaty and competitive, she loves to watch you play. dodgeball isn’t supposed to be seen as cool, that sport was normally played in elementary and high school but here you are - in your element as you throw a ball so hard at one of the boys. she took note of how you have fast reflexes right away, how easily you dodge the ball or how you could catch it with ease.

even during yeji’s short conversation with the coach while she admires you, he drops on some story about how his daughter is such an athletic kid who enjoys playing any type of sport known to man. it was a bonus that you have the looks as the coach would casually say, but everyone in that class knows very well how beautiful his daughter is. yeji finds it hard not to like you, despite only seeing the special guest only during her physical education. you were the motivation she needed to attend this 2 hour class.

word spreads fast, not only was it past students visiting the gym, even friends of yeji’s classmates would visit and see the pretty girl from the rival school coaching.

“where’s the pretty girl?” ryujin visited once only to tease yeji, but seeing how shy her friend got - it was enough to mess with her. as yeji pointed at the other side of the court as you cheer for the class, she understands why people are gathering around as if it’s a celebrity. 

“ok gets, ganda nga.” yeji shoved ryujin as she looked back at you with a smile.

if only she knew you were this popular amongst the other classes that you’ve participated in, then she would have heard about this athletic girl from the rival school that is the child of a coach in La Salle taking the hearts of many. at this point there’s at least two posts about you on the freedom wall, which makes her question it all over because why are there so many people watching you but little to none posts about it.

you’re friendly, everyone knows that but yeji was too shy to ask for your socials despite the multiple encounters of you saving her from being hit in the face because she wasn’t able to catch it easily.

that was the first thing yeji liked about you. how fast you’d act just to make sure no one would get hurt aside from yourself. almost every week she’d see some bandage in your body, either your arms or your knees. brushing it off like it’s nothing and clearly to your father - it was something. when you had to sit one out - yeji took it as an opportunity to talk to you.

short yet memorable, you remember her as the girl that looks like the light fury from how to train your dragon and how she was one of the few that knew how to play but was a bit scared when it comes to actually having the ball. seeing her closer, admiring her beauty, she’s pretty you’ve mentioned that to one of your close friends here that is currently playing and lowkey teasing you about it because you sort of have your fair share of dating Lasallians.

yet you made the first move.

“hi.” you smiled at her as you moved a bit so she could sit down next to you, ”yeji, right?”

it took her by surprise that you remembered her name and face when you’ve been bombarded by the other students who are trying their best to catch your attention.

“yeah, you remember?” you could only nod as you took note of the team’s strengths and weaknesses, it’s for your dad who possibly plans to recruit for the team. yeji could only sit there next to you as she watches the game go on - it would have been like that if you didn’t speak up or if she didn’t help you keep track of everything.

“your team is up next,” setting aside your ipad as you look at her with a reassuring smile, ”make sure to catch the ball with your hands, not your face.”

yeji took notice of your teasing as the game is close to ending, short and memorable but to her it was the start of something.

luck wasn’t on either of your sides because for the past three meetings, you weren’t there. yeji couldn’t bring it to herself to ask the coach where you’ve been because she’s not really one to do something about her fleeting crush on you. her dating you, an atenean? it might be the dream for others but it was far from her reach when she doesn’t even know if you swing that way. she kept her mouth shut, waiting for you to walk out of that elevator with your duffle bag, crocs, and a smile on your face.

three weeks and nothing but disappointment.

by the time it was midterms, yeji lost all hope that you’ll watch her play. her head down and walking to her usual spot by the classrooms and waiting till the coach arrives. she was settling in, back facing the students playing volleyball, turning to lean her back on the wall when a ball was about to hit her in the face. eyes closed and getting ready for impact until she heard a loud smack right in front of her. slowly opening her eyes to see you there crouching and passing the ball back to the people playing.

“yeji, you alright?” it was as if a knight in shining armour saved her from a dragon, if that dragon was small and in the shape of a ball. she could only nod at you smiling at her as she thanked you.

“paano mo-”

“hindi mo ata ako naririnig na binabati kita.” (translation: i don’t think you heard me greeting you.) you pointed to where your stuff is, a few centimetres away from her spot. it made you laugh that she was too preoccupied to notice that you were already looking at her from where you were moments ago.

yeji could only look at you in awe as another ball was about to come towards you. seeing it hit your back and crouching to the floor as it was painful due to the strong impact. you could only look at the group playing, clearly it were the seniors as they profusely apologised to you. seeing how you took care of the issue (and how they clearly aren’t paying attention to their surroundings) made her heart skip a beat. you came back to double check if she was indeed fine.

“i’m fine, you on the other hand, are not.” she could only caress your back and smile at you as you finally give in and tell her that it did somehow hurt more than you expected it to be.

“it’s fine really,” you sat down next to yeji as she caressed your back, “i once took a volleyball to the face. it did hurt but i was brave about it!”

“tanga mo.” she’s warming up as you shrug and laugh at her.

“part of my charm.” you could only laugh as yeji smacks you on the shoulder.

“you know,” you look at her with such curiosity and interest that she had to stop her thoughts of kissing you right there and then. “you’re from Ateneo but you’re spending your friday night at La Salle.”

a faint smile but also avoiding her gaze, you’re not too keen on the idea of letting her in on the little secret crush you have on her. as you opened your mouth, immediately closing it once you hear the bell that your father always presses to let the class know its time. watching yeji drop everything and run to the coach as you sit there and take that as a sign to keep quiet for now. 

you would sit there for the first 30 minutes of class, warming up as well as they run around and get ready to play. yeji in a messy ponytail leaves you sitting there and watching her run around, smile, laugh, and have fun. she’s brighter than the last time you saw her, there’s some spark of joy in her eyes as she plays and it’s her best play yet.

“uy, she could melt if you keep looking at her like that.” you look at your friend and flip her off as she sits down next to you as she joins in and watches the game.

“she’s pretty.” your friend looks at yeji then back at you, there’s a teasing smile that makes you want to shove her off her chair and continue watching the game.

“bakla.” you shove her lightly and see her lose balance a bit in her chair as you two laugh.

“so are you.”

you’re never too sure of your feelings for yeji because you rarely see her, and it’s only once a week. she’s obligated to be in this class but you aren’t, nothing but a simple visitor who helps her father in his work. it’s different because for once you’re looking forward to driving to La Salle and rushing to see your father just so you could see her within those two hours and hope you could get the courage to talk to her.

sometimes you wanna thank the people playing and almost hitting her for giving you a chance to talk to her longer than usual. that you could see her be a bit affectionate and check up on you as she makes sure you weren’t too in pain from being hit by a volleyball. although it seems cruel that you wish to somehow get closer to her, befriend her, get the socials and keep on talking after this whole thing is done because you want to see her again.

you want to get to know her more than what she plays or what her major is. you want to know what’s her favorite color, what she does in her free time, what her interests are, and you’re suddenly blanking out as you see yeji holding her face with her hand.

she walks towards you, pointing to the cooler next to the table. she got hit in the face.

“sit down,” you stood up and offered your chair, getting the ice pack and crouching in front of her, “put your hand down.”

yeji sits there, flinching as the cold plastic touches her skin. she could hear you telling the guy who hit yeji on the face, you weren’t screaming but she sensed that you’re pissed and concerned. you kept on sighing as she checked on her cheek every one to two minutes to ensure there’s no blood but a bit swollen.

“does it still hurt?”

“no… i think i can move my jaw a bit.” you removed the ice pack, gently holding her face to see if there’s any swelling. to yeji, this was a bit too much as you looked intently at her - she shouldn’t be thinking of how soft your lips would feel on top of hers or how soft your hands are and how gentle you’re holding her face. you let go and smile as you gave her the ice pack back.