Feb 22, 2019
Mini retail zodiac
You see a stack of cute discounted t-shirts, but after digging through it, you still can’t find your size. Suddenly, a sharp pain explodes in your side. You look down. You have just been stabbed with surgical precision. “I had just folded those,” whispers Virgo in your ear.
***
Scorpio is hiding from mankind in the storage room. “Penicillin was a mistake. Look what it’s done,” they sigh, slumping deeper onto their shoebox throne.
***
Pisces paddles calmly through the sea of wine moms and zitty Starbucks snowflakes. They keep bumping into Pisces, unaware that the only thing keeping them from becoming a sad statistic is one crummy Xanax.
***
“What can I pair this with?”
“A better-looking guy. And a pleated skirt,” opines Taurus.
