“—WELL MAYBE IT’S REAL TO YOU BECAUSE YOURE JUST AN NPC WHO DOESNT KNOW WHAT LIFE OUTSIDE OF HERE IS TRULY LIKE! You Couldn’t Begin To Know What Mine And Chris’ Lives Outside Of Here Are Like! Or At Least How They Were Like Until You And Your Programming Came In And Convinced Him This Is Where He’s Supposed To Be!”
-...
*Cosmia stops moving. Her eyes go wide, frozen on red and orange. Her mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out.*
*Vixen's stunned her speechless... but only for a second.*
*Because just as the kitsune is about to say or do anything again, Cosmia speaks up. Her voice isn't loud, though. It's slow. It's low. It's full of ice and hatred that seems completely unnatural to her.*
An NPC?
*Cosmia steps towards Vixen.*
I'm a f---ing NPC?
*If Vixen tries to speak, Cosmia talks right over her. Loudness isn't needed- the bitterness dripping from her tone cuts through Vixen's anger like a life.*
You don't know me. You've never learned about or seen a single day in my life. An NPC? Because I'm kind to everyone and own a chocolate store?
I think you may be mistaken about exactly who I am. But, I guess Calcifer here doesn't exactly know either. So let me tell you about myself, hm? Did you know I'm Christian? I've been going to church for most of my life. I was baptized when I was five. In the middle of summer in Canada, in a church I'd go to until I got here to this... circus.
*She keeps stepping forward, going past Vixen as her voice slowly raises, like she's presenting to a classroom.*
I was also popular in school! I had a whole lot of friends. I can't remember their names, but I remember everything else. One of them was so pretty, I started wearing a bandana in my hair because she did too. My favorites were crocheted bandanas that my mom made. I loved adding charms and getting compliments from everyone, even the teachers.
Oh. And I had two siblings- did you know I'm a middle child? No, you didn't. I have an older brother who, last I saw him, was accepted to be a professional hockey player, and a little sister who wanted to be 'just like her sissy' when she grew up. I think she's only 7... no... she's only 6 years old now. It was us three, and our parents... strict and tough with school but they loved us more than grades or faith or money. And I loved my mom and dad back so, so much.
*And finally, Cosmia looks back at Vixen with a gaze that wouldn't have smited her on the spot, but certainly would have drilled a dreadful, slow poison into her veins if it could.*
Did you know that I still remember my mom and dad's phone numbers? I call them still. Every. Single. Week. I never get a response. The numbers don't work. Not even a voicemail.
*Cosmia starts walking back towards Vixen, hands balled into fists so tight they shake.*
You don't know who I am. You don't even know half of who I am, even after I just told you things that even Calcifer doesn't know. And why haven't I? Because I've been driving myself crazy wondering if it was all real or not. He didn't even believe an outside world existed. He, and our sons, adopted sons, all did. And I wondered- heh- maybe I was the crazy one. Why would I have all these memories if the "real world" never existed?
And I guess maybe I should thank you, Vixen. Thank you for letting me realize that I'm not crazy. That our families still exist outside of this game, and that I'm not just a bundle of ones and zeros who has some weird sort of memory problems.
*She stops right in front of Vixen.*
But I'm not going to.
*And then her voice truly starts to raise.*
How DARE you come into my shop and decide to scream at my boyfriend for "abandoning" a family he didn't even know about?! Actually, no, how dare you even assume he abandoned you all in the first place!!! Do you truly think people WANT to come here and abandon their entire lives?! You think we knew about this?! That we'd be trapped here FOREVER?!
Also have you not once even stopped to see how HE'S reacting?! Just look at him!!!
*She motions sharply to Calcifer.*
This man, this sweet and kindly man who would never throw the first punch or make the first insult, only came out here to talk to you, and you SCREAM IN HIS FACE ABOUT ABANDONING YOU?!?! Is that truly where your grief takes you, that you can't see him crying and unable to find courage to fight back?!
You have no right to be mad at him, because NONE OF US chose this life!!! Do you think I wanted to be here too?!?! Leave my friends and family and everyone and everything I've loved?! DO YOU THINK WE HAD A CHOICE?!?! NO!!! I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! I CALL THEM EVERY WEEK PRAYING THAT THEY'LL PICK UP AND I CAN SAY GOODBYE AND KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING, AND JUST KNOW THAT I'M NOT CRAZY FOR REMEMBERING THEM!!!!
*Tears start to roll down her tears as she continues to yell, voice cracking.*
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY CALCIFER DOESN'T REMEMBER THE LIFE BEFORE THIS!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY AND BELIEVE ME, I WISH TO GOD THAT I DID, BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANY RIGHT TO CLAIM THAT I AM A F---ING FAKE AI WITH NO FEELINGS AND THAT THIS WORLD ISN'T REAL- BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, TO US, IT IS REAL, AND IT'S THE MOST REAL WE'LL EVER BE BECAUSE WE'LL NEVER F---ING SEE THE OTHER WORLD AGAIN!!!
*And finally, Cosmia's rant falls silent. Well, somewhat silent. Spare only for the sound of her heavy breathing and sobs, as the floor in front of her starts to be dotted with tears from her cheeks and blood from her hands. Cosmia's no longer ice cold towards Vixen. She's full of boiling wrath that isn't trying to scald her, but absolutely will if Vixen tries too hard.*
