katie!!! 💗💗💗 i love you so much, babe, thank you!!!

7. "So why did I have to punch that guy?" - Wickoff

"So why did I have to punch that guy?"

Julia laughed. "To be fair, when I said 'hey, will you punch this guy for me?', I didn't think you'd actually do it," she said. 

Kady raised an eyebrow at her, giving her a disbelieving look over her lit cigarette. "Well that was your first mistake," she teased. "So what did he do?"

Julia ducked her head, fingers playing with her shirt nervously. "Can we not talk about that?" she asked quietly. Kady nodded. Whatever that scumbag had done had clearly upset her, and Kady had the urge to go back and find him so she could hit him again. 

They walked in silence for a bit, surrounded by the sounds of the city at night. Kady took deep breaths, letting the last of her anger and adrenaline fade away, soothed by Julia's calm and grounding presence. The smaller woman raised her head finally, looking at her. "Sorry we got kicked out of there," she apologized.

Kady chuckled and flicked the butt of her cigarette away. "That tends to happen when I start picking fights." When Julia glanced away, she nudged her with her shoulder. "Hey," she said gently. "I don't care, you know. I didn't come for the bar, I came for you." 

Julia ducked her head again, this time to hide her blush. They walked in silence again, until Julia made a small sound of concern and grabbed for Kady's hand. "Your hand!" She fussed over the knuckles that were starting to bruise. 

Kady stopped walking, an involuntary reaction to the fact that they were practically holding hands. "Its fine," she breathed out. "I've got stuff for it at home." 

Julia raised her eyebrows at her. "You just have stuff for bruised knuckles at your apartment?" she asked suspiciously.

Kady gave her a wry smile. "I have issues. I'm working through them." 

Julia took a step closer and Kady forgot how to breathe. "Am I an issue?" she asked softly, looking up at Kady through long lashes.

Kady got lost in the smaller woman's eyes and all she could do was shake her head no. Part of her hated how she lost all ability to form coherent sentences around Julia, but a bigger part didn't care as long as it meant she was close to her. 

And she was really close to her. 

Julia leaned impossibly closer, their hands still entwined, and Kady could smell her perfume and her shampoo. "Can I kiss you?" she whispered. 

Kady wanted to scream yes. She wanted to tell her everything she meant to her, how much she adored her and wanted to protect her. She wanted to say how much she had wanted to kiss her every minute since they first met. She wanted to tell her that she was the only part of her life that made sense. 

But words were hard. So instead she just narrowed the space between them until their lips pressed softly together. 

*content warning: mental health, eating disorders, depression*

my lovely anon,

I’m so sorry you feel this way (and thank you for sharing such an intimate experience with me). I wish I could give you links to masterposts and blogs that will teach you how to love yourself and the skin you’re in, but I can’t because it doesn’t happen that way. even though body positivity is ‘trending’ right now, one thing I hate most about asking people for help is that sometimes they assume that because they aren’t in your position, it’s a quick fix. and it’s not. so instead of giving you advice, I’d like to try and give you hope.

I’ve struggled with my body image a lot too since I’ve been in college and I honestly don’t have it figured out either. I find myself looking in the mirror once or twice a day and frowning, pinching myself, and skipping meals (tmi, sorry!). so I can’t try and tell you that you should love yourself, because that isn’t very helpful. it’s really scary and upsetting and frustrating to worry about being your own enemy. I don’t know if you feel the same way— I’m just sharing what I know.

but I also know that it will get better eventually. we have bad days and good days and medium days. I’ll list some things that help me personally get through the mental battle of being self conscious:

• going for long walks in public places (safely!) • exploring new museums or parks (I live in the city so it’s a little easier here) • browsing and listening to music • drinking tea• escaping into a book• self grooming (shaving, face masks, nail trimming, baths, etc) • singing in the shower• painting • writing in a journal• I’ve heard working out helps ?

these are not permanent solutions. these are mindful suggestions that seem to work for me.

if you or your friends and/or family are worried about your mental health, you should consider going to your school’s health center (if you are in college) or speaking with a primary care doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist about further options and steps toward self-love and self respect. negative body image is common among young people, but as we know it can also be associated with or lead to depression, harmful thoughts and actions, etc. mental health comes first and foremost, along with physical health, before school, grades, friends, and other priorities. please listen to your body and your mind and try to take care of it the best you can.

AKSKDJFDSOOWKSMA

sweet jesus, why would you do this to me?? 😂😂

slowburn: henry fogg - I hate you for making me write those words lmao, but like, I could see us being drinking buddies because he's a sarcastic shit

fake date: umber - there are a few bigoted family members whose reactions I would like to see if I brought home a horned and hoofed god for thanksgiving dinner lol

enemies to lovers: the beast - who doesn't want to make out with a face full of moths?? I'm sure I could figure out a way to write this dude a redemption arc that doesn't make me want to rip my eyes out. maybe. 😆

send me three characters and I'll pick which I would slowburn / fake date / enemies-to-lovers

omg yes 😍😍 thank you!!!!

slowburn: quentin - I feel like we would become friends first and then it would take forever for us to get together cause we're both anxious disasters lol

fake date: eliot - lets be real, if you need someone to fake date, you're going to want someone as theatrical and dramatic as Eliot Waugh. the boy will do you right.

enemies to lovers: margo - all I want is for her to pin me against the wall in the heat of an argument and then we have to deal with the obvious homoerotic tension. I am simple woman, I have needs.

send me three characters and I'll pick which I would slowburn / fake date / enemies-to-lovers