#askafu

i've been seeing similar reactions floating around re: that quote, and honestly i think the problem is that people are reading her reply through the lens of engaging with commercial BL, where it's assumed the "only" possible endings are getting/staying together or breaking up. but famiresu is explicitly, not that. it's a slice of life about the connections people make and learning to find your own happiness. it's not "just" a will-they-or-won't-they.

what i mean to say is, everyone put the BL tropes down and believe!!! smile!!! have some whimsy!!!

like, it's completely possible that she means they will get together, and she's just worried that people might react negatively to it :] (another possibility is that it won't be as like. explicit as some people might hope, but that loops back into people treating the manga as commercial BL when it isn't advertised as such, which is a whole other can of worms.)

i genuinely believe that with how the story has been progressing, everything is pointing to them staying in each other's lives and acknowledging their mutual feelings. remember, wayama also said that she's thinking about satomi's happiness, and the latest chapters show that satomi's happiness means kyouji staying alive and being by his side. the message fami has been building up to is that happiness (and love) cannot be defined only by what society thinks. i don't think wayama is suddenly going to ignore the series' whole thesis and go "okay and to be happy satomi is going to end up with someone else years from now." satomi wants that grown ass yakuza BAD and we all just have to accept it. and the thing with how wayama writes for fami is that everything is set up chapters in advance, and all the characters are connected to each other. it's highly unlikely for her to suddenly drop in like new romantic interests for either of them when we only have like. 2 or so chapters to go!

not to be that kind of fan but as someone who was there at the height of Satomi Suffering Because Of His Feelings (chapters 12-14), the recent chapters have felt like a weight off my shoulders!!! satomi has acknowledged his feelings for what they are, and kyouji's gotten okada off their backs, who is kinda like society's judgment personified. things are only going up from here!!!

and of course... this cover.

"always by your side, forever." is just so romantic and self-assured about it. satomi's smiling in front of kyouji. kyouji's in casual clothes, and not in his yakuza suit (which the manga has associated with kyouji being closed-off and refusing to face his and satomi's feelings.)

It wasn’t really that I was in denial. I guess I was in a few ways, but not about what I was doing to myself. It was all very intentional and I was extremely aware of every change my body went through. But I guess there was denial about how far I was really taking this, how serious this was getting, how non-temporary it really was. But no it wasn’t even really denial, that still doesn’t feel like the right word. I was just completely swept away. It’s like I was so drunk on the pleasure, the shame, the surreal experience, that I let myself do things I never thought I actually would. Kind of like you do in a dream. If things feel surreal enough you can convince yourself there are no real consequences, if that's what it takes to keep getting those hits of pleasure which override every other need, even the need to experience reality as you know it to be. I'm aware this is getting very cerebral 😂 I've never been able to truly capture this experience in the exact right words but that won't stop me from trying. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the mind will do crazy things to enable a great enough need. Finally acting on a lifelong fantasy, I knew what would happen if I thought about it too hard, so I kept myself in that intoxicated hazy whirlwind. I lied to myself - blatant, obvious lies like ‘yeah but you’re not actually doing this, not really’. I had this safety-net idea in my mind where I clung to the thought I could lose the weight. Even when I literally couldn't imagine stopping, it was still 'technically' reversible, which was all the permission I needed to play in the quicksand. But it still wasn't really denial because I knew I was lying to myself, and the purpose that served. I was willing to be complicit in it for the payoff of this insane mind melting fantasy finally coming to life. I spent a lot of time balanced intentionally in a precarious mental space where I had to be just aware enough to experience it all but never quite aware enough to stop myself.

Hahahhahhahhaha 😂😂

“Lying for attention is unhinged” says the person telling a lie for attention. Next time just say you have no idea what AI looks like and jog on.

How long has it been since you lifted anything heavier than a food-laden fork? Since you ran any distance? Since you jumped? Touched your toes?

It's been a while, huh?

See, you still see yourself as a fit guy that made yourself fat. Something you can tell yourself is only temporary when you decide to finally lose the weight. Someone who definitely still remembers what a proper workout routine looks like.

But by now, you've been fat for

So.

Long.

And that's not something you can just change. How much of your adult life were you effortlessly fit? How much of your adulthood has been spent squeezing into too tight gym clothes and drinking hundreds of extra calories every day? Only one of those numbers is still going up, big guy.

Do you even remember the proper form, technique? Do you remember how many calories you're actually supposed to be eating every day - do you remember how to each only that amount of calories every day?

And it's not just you. By this point, you've probably met so many people who only know you as a chub whose belly enters a room before they do. And I'll guess that by now, a lot of your friends and family who knew what you used to be have given up on trying to get you to lose the weight. Why waste their time, right? And that's only if they haven't let time mess with them - Maybe he wasn't as slim as I remember - after all, he's so big...

All that to say - enjoy your time as a big boy, because the longer you spend fat, the less likely that'll ever change.

Tick, Tock, big guy

Your surrender to gluttony is equal parts inspirational and utterly shocking... I get a huge thrill watching as your ludicrously thick fat spills out from every angle, captured so well with your impressive camera work and editing...

The way you write about your descent into intense greed, and your skyrocketing into sheer pleasure, is masterful as well, as are your stories...

Something about you makes it feel like you're not just a fat guy - you are the literal physical embodiment of fat itself, and everything the word implies 🥵

Keep up the good work 😘

Fat boy walk is a hot way to put it 🥵 I’m going to the post office to pick up a parcel but I’m walking around a bit first. Everything’s bouncing and my clothes are too tight 😫🥵😫🥵

It was actually a funny moment getting ready to leave, I had the reverse of that experience where you’ve gained weight and don’t want it to show. My bed at home is covered in discarded trousers that I tried on but they weren’t tight enough 😂 I mean they were tight, of course, but they weren’t tight enough 😈 so I’ve settled on these pants that are tapered around my ankles and they always embarrassed me because as I started gaining weight in a pear shape they made me look even more bottom heavy. The waistband is very tight now and it’s causing a deliciously mortifying spill. 🥵😮‍💨 I’ve made sure to pull my whole belly out over my waistband and let it settle nicely over the front. And then a Tshirt- soft, stretchy, thin fabric, TIGHT. Not so small that it’ll ride up but clingy enough that it’s cupped tight around my belly and cradling the hang, pulling as I bounce 😫😫😫 it’s hard to know if people are just registering ‘yeah, fat guy’ and barely noticing me, or if I really am as lewd and obscene as I feel, but I hope it’s the latter 🥵🥵