#ask nox

Nights in Asgard were always beautiful. Heimdall kept the bifrost open for you most nights, the rainbow bridge lighting up the dark sky. The stars twinkled above Asgard, reminding you that you were not alone in the universe.

You glanced over at Loki, who slept peacefully alongside you, his breathing soft. He looked so sweet, so happy…

You slipped out of bed carefully, your night robes dragging on the floor. Quietly, you slipped on your sandals and made your way out of the bedroom.

The gardens were quiet at this time of night. You waved at the guards, holding a finger to your lips as they nodded at your appearance. They understood you came here to think, and chose not to disturb you unless there was any immediate danger.

The balcony of your room looked out onto the gardens, but you wanted to walk around tonight. Your thoughts were a blur in your mind, and while Loki’s presence was often a comfort, you needed space. Your problem involved him, and if you spent another second next to him, you believed your head would be close to exploding.

As you walked through the rose section, you couldn’t help the insecurity that seeped through your mind. What were you doing here? You were a mere mortal, due to wed Loki, a god in every sense of the word. What did he see in you, of all creatures? Why did he value you over everyone else?

It was days like these when you wished Frigga were still alive. The Queen would know the answers to your questions, ways to make you believe you were the one for the God of Tricksters. Besides, she always had a soft spot for Loki himself. She understood him more than you did. She understood how people fell in love, how your destinies intertwined.

Meeting Loki was no coincidence. You’d been the child of a noble, and thus attended one of the dinners. The two of you were seated together and curiously, you had managed to find the kinder side of him. It had only taken mere hours before the god was absolutely smitten with you.

But why you? Of all people in the universe, why would he choose you?

It was an absolute conundrum.

You walked in circles around the garden, pausing every so often to admire a flower. In the garden there was a special plot for you, and you paid extra attention to it. The moonshine flowers seemed to be blooming nicely, tilting up towards the moons of Asgard.

“My love, what are you doing up? It’s nearly midnight.” Loki’s soft voice sent chills down your spine as he slid an arm around your waist. “When I awoke, you were gone.”

Figuring it was best not to lie to him, you turned to face him, blue eyes landing on yours. “I needed a place to think.” You said, resting a hand on his chest. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to worry you. I’ll be back upstairs in a few minutes.”

“Is there something on your mind?” He questioned, leading you to a nearby bench to sit down. “Are you having second thoughts?” Even in the dark, his eyes were visible to you, full of worry.

His actions were some of the few he did for you and you only. When you were alone, he was vulnerable; in doing so, you made yourself vulnerable as well, balancing the scales.

You held one of his hands with both of yours, covering it gently. “No, not exactly.” You reassured him, hoping to prolong the conversation. He wouldn’t drop it, but you weren’t sure how to go about it.

“Then what is it?” His eyes searched yours curiously.

You looked down at your hands. “Why do you love me?” You asked, knowing your eyes were showing all the pain you’d tried to hide from him the past few days.

“My love…” He trailed off. His eyes were searching for something, something in you. You weren’t sure what it was, but his eyes seemed frantic as they looked over yours.

“Loki, why?” You persisted. “You could have anyone you want, and yet you choose to love me. What, in all of the nine realms, do you see in me?”

For once, the king of tricksters was at a loss for words. Despite being so clear, he was unsure of what you wanted from him.

“Because you have always been kind to me, even in my worst moments.” Loki said carefully. “I enjoy your presence much more than anyone else in all the nine realms.”

You looked at him in disbelief, but he pressed on anyways. “I wish to spend the rest of my life waking up next to you, if you will allow me. When I imagined ruling all of the nine realms, you were with me, asking for peace and mercy. You are my queen no matter our location. There is not one reason why I love you, and there is not one reason why I wish to treasure you for as long as I live. I may be the god of tricks and lies, but I wish for you to know that I do not lie when I say these words.”

You stared at him, not trusting your mouth, but he spoke again. “Please, tell me what’s on your mind.” He begged, covering your hand with his.  

“I didn’t know you felt that way.” You said quietly, looking down at your intertwined hands. “I didn’t know I was so important to you.”

A stab of sadness prodded at him. He couldn’t understand why you saw yourself that way, but he decided he would do his best to show you how much he loved you.

“My apologies for not making that known to you sooner.” He moved to tilt your chin up. You obliged, eyes fluttering shut as his lips met yours. “I love you.” He mumbled in between gentle kisses, pulling you close. You eagerly accepted them, kissing him back before leaning your forehead against his.