#ask box things

Me too man, me too. She's such a Creature. What if love had power and that was the problem?

I'm glad you enjoyed our silly scribbles!!

LET ME BE

!!! Thank you for asking!!

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

-oh god I have So Many, but I can narrow it down to a couple I've been tossing around more seriously in my head lately.

A. I really desperately want to write something from Jack Jr's perspective as an adult. I've already implied in one fic (as of yet unpublished) that once he's grown, he moves away further up the East coast of the US (like Maine or something) and doesn't go no contact exactly, but...definitely low contact. He's not entirely mad at his moms and Ed and Izzy and Stede for leaving him to languish with his grandmother (Jack's abusive mum), because he's old enough to understand the legal red tape they were fighting, but at the same time...they were able to look after him, have them at their houses often enough, surely they could have tried harder to get him away from her? And he hasn't really worked out all those feelings yet on his own or with a therapist, so he's just this bundle of frustration and worries and shame for feeling like he wanted more from them.

I want to tie it into the aforementioned unpublished fic; he's been asked/offered to come down to where Mary (Read, not Bonnet, for clarification) and Ed are staying after the death of Anne, to have a sort of family mourning/get together thing. He's got his own kids at this point, a wife who's told him that he doesn't owe his family anything and that if he doesn't want to go, he shouldn't. But...he does kind of want to go. He does miss them, but seeing them reminds him of everything fucked up in his childhood, just as much as it does the good memories. I think part of the reason I haven't written this yet is simply bc idk if he'll go or not lol. I'd like him to, but he's not sure of that yet so I'm patiently waiting on him to figure it out.

B. I haven't forced Stede into enough pain recently, in my opinion, so I think a fic in the modern au where I force him to relive/go over his time with Mary around the time they were having Louis and Alma would be good lol. Namely that he has to face that even if he and Mary weren't into each other, and they had kids to please their families, he does love his kids so...how is he supposed to feel about all of those years?

Realistically speaking, he lost so much time and potential opportunities over those years; maybe if he hadn't been forced into marriage with Mary he would have met Ed sooner. Then again, maybe he wouldn't have wound up meeting Ed at all, and he hates that thought.

Then there's the fact that he might not be a great dad, or even a good dad at times, but he cares for his kids and now that he's sharing custody and gets time off from them, he's realised he actually likes being a dad. He's not going to have any more kids now though (that's a different fic idea lol) with Ed or Izzy, so he's got big feelings about that too. Just thinking about spending sleepless nights up with Alma and Louis as newborns, reading books about sailing and pirates and ships to them, watching them learn and grow into the little personalities they are now brings him to tears and makes him ache for the idea of having another, but it's not realistic.

He didn't want the life he had. It wasn't working for him or Mary; they're all better off in the current arrangement. But there are bits of it he wishes he could have kept as they were, that more kids with his new partners would be on the table. All of it is just sort of at war inside of his mind, and despite being the one to encourage others to talk it out, he can't seem to make himself talk to anyone about this.

14. where do you get your inspiration?

-God I wish I knew lmaoooo, but on a serious note! A lot comes from a bit of projection (or a lot) on situations I've been in and processing the feelings from that; giving myself a chance to go answer the question of 'okay here's how I handled this, how would one of my favourite characters, who arguably is in even a worse mental state than I was at that time, do with it?' I don't know why it helps so much to do that, but it does for me.

I also take a lot from the things I haven't done/will never do. Like I'm never gonna have kids, but I helped raise my cousins so I do have some experience and there's something fun/satisfying in getting to write parenting fic where what little knowledge I have already is useful, but also I get to look up and learn about a topic I won't have to really deal much with in my life. The parenting modern au ed and izzy fics in particular have had me learning So Much and trying to blend current best practices vs what would have been done at the time of the fic, and that's been interesting to explore and to write!

Lastly I take a lot from the art I take in; certain horror movies, indie movies, books, music, if it has a vibe that I like and that I want to see if I could create for others with my art, then I like to give it a go. Since starting the modern au I've had more of a spectrum in term of vibes: from the sometimes cosy but also uncomfortable (due to everything ongoing with Jack and his kid and that unfortunate mess) feeling of coming together as found family over the years, to the eerie and unsettling vibes you might find from some A24 movies or Jozef Van Wissem's music (he's so good for fic writing playlists if the fic leans horror/creepy/eerie/unsettling; I cannot recommend him enough.)

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

-I answered this one, but I also have multiple answers for it jfdlskafjdk. I will always be amazed at how much research it took to find out what the fuck horses can and cannot have for treats; especially when they're dying and you're trying to give them a fun little treat (like how you might buy a dog a burger before they get put to sleep at the vet.)

At one point I stumbled upon an old school forum of vets that work with big animals and the discourse over horses! One side was of the opinion if you ever give an animal a treat like that for any reason ever you should be strung up, the other felt that hey, if the animal is already being put down and it's not the worst thing they could have as a treat, then why not let them have a special snack before the end?

I don’t mind getting sent P.Links and stuff but I do need a warning. I know some people like using this as references and that’s great, but a little NSFW is needed if it’s that just for my state of mind as I do check my Ask Box in public sometimes and well.

I just don’t want to be caught opening something like that in public (not that I have btw! but the thought came to me now.)

Spoileryish stuff under the cut for his memories

Heyo!!

Honestly, I should really dust off my own blogs at some point. Most of my writing stuff has been on Discord, and even then, it hasn't been much.