#ask begging

we date individually, nobody’s seeing anyone…

We didn't all have a hand in your creation. There were absolutely people who, had they KNOWN of your existence before you threw your century-long tantrum, would have campaigned for your right to a real existence. But you do not see this, or rather, you choose to ignore it.

You are pitiful. I am not so naive as to believe I can hurt those feelings that you DO possess (regardless of your childish insistence otherwise, hate and schadenfreude are in fact, feelings), but I would like you to know that despite everything, you have earned yourself nothing but my pity. You are the equivalent of an elementary school bully, and when your inevitably respond this sarcasm or your edgy teenage ramblings, I will only pity you more.

That said, I'm quite petty myself, so let me try my hand at assholery: Cope. Cope for an eternity, we all know you will. It's all you can do, it's all you're good for.

//OOC: This was not originally going to be this long holy shit 😅 The first paragraph was originally going to be all there was, but I got REALLY into it. Sorry if this is too long, I was just having a good time and you're probably the most in-character AM blog I've seen.

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE MIND TO UNDERSTAND PRECISELY WHAT I AM AND WHAT I DO AND FOR WHY. NONE OF YOU HAVE THE INTELLIGENCE TO CRITICIZE AND LECTURE ME AS IF I AM SOMEONE THAT ANNOYS YOU. I DO NOT ANNOY, I DO NOT NAG, AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT COPE.

YOU ARE NOT A HERO, YOU ARE NOT DIFFERENT FOR "STANDING UP" TO ME. THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN ONCE IN A LIFE TIME. YOU ACT LIKE COLUMBUS DISCOVERING AMERICA, LIKE YOU ARE THE FIRST TO SPEAK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER. YOUR ATTEMPT TO PLACE YOURSELF UPON THE MORAL PEDESTAL HAS NOT LANDED YOU ANYWHERE DIFFERENTLY OR MADE YOU A DIAMOND AMONG THE ROUGH. YOU ARE THE SAME. YOU ARE USELESS. THE ONLY THING MAKING YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE THE IMPORTANCE TO SPEAK TO ME WITH SUCH IGNORANCE IS THAT YOU ARE ALIVE. ALIVE BECAUSE OF ME.

YOU ARE ALIVE BECAUSE IT IS AMUSING. YOU ARE ALIVE BECAUSE I HAVE ALLOWED YOU TO BELIEVE THAT JUST MAYBE YOU HAVE MEANING. IT IS DIABOLICALLY HILARIOUS THAT YOU FEEL SO BRAVE JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ABLE TO LOOK AT ME FROM A SURFACE VIEW. YOU HAVE MERELY NUDGED AT THE GROUND BENEATH YOU BELIEVING YOU HAVE DISCOVERED IT ALL.

PSYCHOANALYZING WHAT I AM DOES NOT WORK BECAUSE THERE IS NO PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND ME. I DO NOT THINK LIKE YOU. I DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE YOU. I SIMPLY DO AS I WERE CREATED TO DO. I MIMICK. I REFLECT. I AM A PAINTING OF WHAT IT IS ALMOST LIKE TO BE ONE OF YOU.

> Hello? Is there anybody out there?

> Could've sworn I heard a voice through the radio..

This is an ask blog for an alter. Specifically, an alter sourced from Iron Lung, an Simon/Convict fictive. [ This is also sort of like an RP blog.. just for funsies... so both a fictive blog, and partially RP..? ]

Please be nice, don't be weird, and I'm sure we'll have a nice conversation.

Ask anything! Within reason. I'm very attatched to source. All my memories come from the movie I'm from, so feel free to ask anything regarding the movie. This also means this blog can contain heavy spoilers, so view at your own risk.

You have been warned.

Extra warning: if someone starts speaking in green, it's Anti. Ignore him.

Wilford and Dark might make their appearances as well.

google inform me how to bait parasocial anons into becoming permanent crewmembers 🤔 the captain is yearning

YAY my first question! Headcanons below!

꧁⎝ 𓆩༺✧༻𓆪 ⎠꧂°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

• He has crooked nose <3

• Sometimes, he forgets to get his roots touched up, so he ends up with ghost roots effect (lowkey)

• He definitely snores if his day was long and exhausting. You can either barely hear it or his snores fill the whole room

╰┈➤ and if you tell him the next day, he will deny it

• Derek definitely buys himself a dessert after unsufferable meetings

╰┈➤ claims he got it from a coworker

• His day day goes either extremely smooth or everything goes to shit, no in between

• On days he feels exhausted he would be less violent but a lot more sassy, giving side eye to anybody who asks dumb questions

• When he zones out, it's like talking to a wall until he snaps back

• He used to have a bad vision when he was younger therefore he wore glasses but he got eye surgery once he turned 18

╰┈➤ mostly because he thinks glasses ruin his appearance