LOTR + Ask A Manager: Part 2

Happy awkward workplace party season

Loyalty to work friends doesn’t mean you have to pretend not to see serious issues with how they operate at work or get tarnished by association with a label you don’t deserve. As for green flags for potential friends at work, here are a few: --integrity — you don’t see them lying or looking for ways to game the system --respected by people you respect --when you’re new, they go out of their way to be warm and welcoming to you, while simultaneously preserving appropriate boundaries with someone they don’t yet know well (so for example, they don’t unload all their complaints about the company on you during your first week) --not mired in negativity (this doesn’t mean they don’t acknowledge real issues or ever do normal work venting, but they don’t get bogged down in complaining to the point it impacts your or their quality of life in significant ways; they don’t seem to take pleasure in criticizing others; and, where possible, they look for ways to make things better) --realistic — they know not every job will be ideal, and they have a decent understanding of office politics and what is and isn’t realistic to expect or ask for --supportive — they recognize and applaud your successes rather than resenting them --honest but kind — they’ll tell you when you’re wrong but in a way that doesn’t make you feel bad about it --an aversion to gossip — this doesn’t necessarily mean they never gossip, but it’s not a major focus and they have some discretion and sensitivity --they understand and respect your boundaries and that you’re there to work — which means everything from understanding when you can’t talk because you need to focus to not expecting you to fight their battles as your own --they don’t use you to push their own agenda ([such as] wanting you to quit just so your office would “take the hit”)