🔥🔥🔥

It wasn’t meant to be like this.

That’s what I had told my mother. But she knew that. Of course, she did. She didn’t care though. What she wanted she got. Her word was law, in our family and in Basgiath War College. Mom bent slightly to sign my name on an empty line on the roll after I just stood and stared at it.

“General Sorrengail.” Both Captain Fitzgibbons and the riders manning the table come to attention. Showing their commander, the proper level of deference her years of service and title had earned her.

“Captain.” Mom gives the slightest tip of her head, her eyes glancing my way a moment, “Bria Sorrengail.”

They eyed me.

“Looks like we’re down to the last one.” Captain Fitzgibbons says, giving a half smile. “You know the way General.”

Mom gives me a look to go first, and I do. There was no fighting this. The battle had already been lost. I was going to be a rider, or dead. We move in silence to the tunnel of stairs that would take us to the parapet. I don’t think Mom was supposed to come up the stairs with me, but she was the General. So, no one stopped us as we ascended the two hundred and fifty steps.

At the top, it was quiet and empty. Captain Fitzgibbons had been right, there was one person crossing the parapet and no other candidates. Just three riders two men and a woman, all in rider black. Their ranks showed them as second years.

“Cadets.” Mom greets, her voice steely, eyes narrowing in on them. They all stood at attention too. So stiff I almost rolled my eyes.

“General.”

Mom waits expectantly for me, they do as well. Waiting for my name, and probably a chance to get the hell away from my mom. Not that I could blame them. The burning rage nipped at the edges of the numbness that had overtaken my body.

“Bria Sorrengail.” I tell the second year with the roll and pen.

She was painfully familiar, even though I hadn’t seen her in years. Cara Tauri. We had been close enough when my mother had been stationed in Calldyr. Only being a year apart, we had gotten into our fair share of trouble together. Her royal green eyes gave no indication of her thoughts on my presence here, though the slightest bit of surprise tugged small lines into her face. Cara wrote my name and each of the second years backed away.

Mom ignored them, turning to me, she didn’t touch me, just looked down with that unreadable all-knowing expression only she could maintain. One she had perfected since my brother’s death a few years ago. “You are a Sorrengail.” She said it as though it meant something.

To me, right now, it meant nothing.

I couldn’t meet her eyes a moment longer, eyeing the opening that would potentially lead to my death.

“You will not die today.” Mom speaks quietly but not softly. Fierce even. Words only meant for me.

I brace my hands on the sides of the turret and step up. The wind hit me first, it was loud and overbearing, and I wasn't even out of the tunnel yet. I was going to blow right off the parapet. I could feel it.

“That is an order.” Mom’s voice was drifting.

I shot a panicked glance back, but I only saw a glimpse of her back as she descended the stairs. Something in my chest cracked. I don’t know why. It wasn’t like it was preferable if she stayed and watched. But if I did fall, if I died today her last words to me would be an order... an order that would be failed if I don’t make it. My breathing took a panicked turn. My chest almost heaving as tears filled my eyes, and my hands trembled as I stood, taking another step onto the parapet. I could feel the panic attack ready to take over.

“You’ve got this Bria-”

“Don’t!” My teeth clenched; I didn’t look back at her. I wasn’t sure what led her here. Why she was now a rider, when she had disliked riders when we were kids. But something about the sympathetic tilt her voice had taken. I couldn’t bear it. I faced forward and moved.

I would not die today.

Even if it wasn’t meant to be like this. Even Though I wanted to.

The parapet itself was awful but anticlimactic. But maybe I only think that because I survived it.

The storm clouds had descended, and the wind tore my clothes left and right. I went slow, trying to be careful of my steps, even when it began to sprinkle.

I also cried. But I had always been the crybaby of my family. I could cry over literally anything. It didn’t have to be a sad event. Something happy? Tears. Scary? Tears. Angry? Tears. The rain did hide my tears, which was a slight win.

I realized halfway across that I wasn’t alone. One of the second years had also decided to walk. And he made it look so easy. He was massive. Like huge. And the wind did nothing to him. I hadn’t even known he was there until he asked me if I intended to jump off when I had stopped three fourths of the way across. I didn’t answer him. He eyed me as I turned back forward and kept going.

Anticlimactic for the win. Nothing bad other than the weather. The last few feet of the parapet were in a dark tunnel, and thunder cracked and echoed so loudly I slammed my hands to my ears and stopped for a moment. Two riders watched me come in, watched me step off the parapet and to solid ground.

“Thought you weren’t going to make it,” one of the riders’ smirks. A third year. He was cocky and held an aloof air as he crossed his arms. “Was up there watching you, was sure you were going to off yourself when you took your little break.”

“Shut up Blaine,” the female rolls her pretty blue eyes. “Name?”

“Bria Sorrengail.” I ignore Blaine, seeing as he’s just here and not the one with the roll.

Blaine curses, turning away as he laughs. “Gonna be an interesting year, got a shit ton of marked ones, a Sorrengail, a Tauri, a Riorson… what a shit show. Let’s make bets Niamh.”

“Enough Blaine.” Niamh seemed to huff without opening her mouth. She seemed exhausted by the other third year.

“My bet’s on Riorson.” The second year who followed across the parapet hopped down, right behind me. Now stood way too close. Stood way too close and was publicly announcing his vote against me. It took everything I had to not turn or move or do something. Fuck him.

“Of course, it is Moray,” Blaine rolls his eyes, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall to his sides. What could be taken as a relaxed position if I didn’t know better. Blaine is now in prime position to grab weapons and I am standing between him and his target.

“Enough both of you,” Niamh orders. “Why are you over here Moray?”

Moray steps from around me, the most casual one here, he stops at my side. I didn’t turn to look at him, but he watched me, towering over me, I couldn’t really feel any real aggression coming off him, so I didn’t balk, flinch, or breathe really.

“Captain Fitzgibbons says Cadet Sorrengail is the last one.” Moray shrugs, “said maybe there will be a straggler, but we weren’t all needed over there. Tauri sent me over to relay the message.”

“Go on Sorrengail, they’ll start separating everyone into squads and begin officially here soon.” Niamh tips her head to the side, gesturing to the open doorway. She probably thought she was saving me from Moray, the truth be told I didn’t care about him. Or anyone else here. I didn’t want to be here myself. I didn’t come to make friends, or enemies. I just wanted to get through this. One day at a time.

I nodded my thanks though and stepped away from Moray, who had crossed his arms over his very, very broad chest. The man was built. And being a second year meant he had this last entire year of combat training. No doubt he could wipe the floor with me. I didn’t want to find out.

All cadets gathered and were sorted and stood in formation. Commandant Panchek with his fake ass smile said a bunch of things about joining and the wings and the rules and trying to stay alive. The head Wingleader gave a fancy little speech. Not really, he didn't really look like he wanted to be there. Didn't seem to have the time for this nonsense. Couldn't even blame him. 

Niamh, it turns out, is Fourth Wing’s wingleader. Which was interesting. I almost figured Blaine would be her second, but he wasn’t, he didn’t hold a leadership position at all. He was in Fourth Wing and was in a different squad, and when he caught me watching him, he gave a cocky smirk and winked.

There were a few names I recognized. Mostly other leadership kids who I had seen at different stations growing up when we had moved place to place. Then there was Alic Tauri, was put in First Squad, Claw Section, First Wing. Fuck him. And Cara Tauri, who is Fourth Wing Flame Section's Executive Officer. Good for her.

Altogether through the four wings it seemed there were ten or so marked ones. Children of the rebellion, people had whispered since I crossed the parapet and came to the courtyard. People avoided them, giving a wide berth and they seemed to clump together. All standing off to the side until they were called and separated one by one. I don't think there was more than one marked on per squad.

My squad leader ended up being Moray. Second Squad, Flame Section, Fourth Wing.

My name was called last to this squad and Garrick Tavis, who had already been called and in formation, shook me to my core when I was called and he just smiled… the smile he gave me.... there wasn’t even anything evil in it. Just something humorous. Like he was privy to a joke I wasn't in on. Better than being in Riorson’s squad.. or Alic Tauri.  He also was glaring at me. There was no one else close enough that I could make an excuse and say he was looking at them. It was me. Riorson was looking at me. And his gaze was pure hatred.

The scariest moment was when the wingleaders’ dragons started torching people.

But something was wrong with me, because it wasn’t fear curling in my gut, but annoyance and something I couldn't name. I had been around my mothers dragon before, though not enough to make me not fearful of dragons but all these runners seemed to be people who crossed the parapet willingly. Not even conscripts. And it made me unreasonably angry. Because my choice had been taken from me. I tried to tell myself that I didn't know for sure and I had no business being brat about this but the feeling swirling in my gut were swirling, heavy and disgusting.

Heat curled over head as a runner was scorched twenty feet behind us by a fierce looking green. The green reared back, eyeing my squad one by one. He seemed to be going down the whole of Fourth Wing, trying to weed out the weak. Globs of spit dripped and splattered right in between me and a squad mate, who blenched. The man trembled and shook and lurched forward, throwing up everywhere. Including my boots.

“Can you fucking not?!” Disgust swirled heavily inside me, urging me to throw up as well but I shoved it down. Movement from the corner of my eye caught my gaze. My eyes widened seeing the green mouth open and tongue curl. We were about to be scorched. I launched myself at my puker squad mate, tackling him back along with whoever was directly behind him and straight into the squad next to us- who screamed and moved as fire spread. I found my feet quickly, not wanting to lose sight of the dragon again.

“Get up idiot!”

“Nice going!” A second year speaks up from the side, having been clear from the dragon fire. 

“Fuck off.” I roll my eyes, but only after the green retreats.

Moray opens his mouth, ready to retort but was cut off by Cara pushing through the cadets, ushering them back to where they were supposed to be.

“Enough both of you.” Her voice and expression were no nonsense, the second year and I both looked away and let it go. “Moray get your squad in order.”

"Trying." Moray shrugs a shoulder, laughing.

 I flipped him off. Cara grabbed my hand and forced it down, disbelief overtaking her prim and prissy dainty features before she masked it. There was nothing dainty about her grip as she took my arm and steered me back towards Tavis, who now stood closest to me in formation, thanks to our meddling asshole squad leader. She gave him a look I couldn’t decipher, the corner of his lip tipped up and he gestured with his head to the side, almost as if saying "she's fine by me". The fuck I was. Asshole probably wanted to kill me to get back at my mother.

Cara gripped my arm, leaning into my space and forcing eye contact while breaking my previous train of thought.

“I don’t know what your problem is,” she says quietly, “but make peace with it quickly. Before you get someone killed.”

Outrage swirled in me. Anger bordering on wrath mixed with a heavy sense of betrayal had me ripping my arm from her, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It was an outright lie. But we were not about to have a heart to heart in the middle of formation.

Panchek brought everyone back to order. Niamh spoke some encouraging words. We were dismissed. That was it. Congrats, good luck surviving. 

So

As a fandom we all kinda accepted that Lilith Sorrengail’s sickness had something to do with Venin. That Violet might be part Venin - could explain her channeling from the sky like they do from the ground.

In Onyx Storm, we learn that for some reason Asher Sorrengail (still love that he took Lilith’s last name, such a Xadeb move) took baby/toddler Violet to the isles to have her touched/dedicated to Dunne and that is the origin of her silver hair.

Would he have done it to help his baby girl not turn Venin… like maybe she started channeling to help her walk with her EDS or something. And a toddler would not have Lilith’s self control to NOT channel.

Btw another reason Lilith never left the wards which is not “she was scared of Theophanie”

All of this to circle back to the Irids!

They mention humans needing to evolve, for their children to learn from the past. I want a Riorgail baby as much as the next rider (wrote a fanfic around that) but… Well Violet did evolve from Venin Lilith in a way.

I feel like if we truly dig into that in the fourth book, we could have the cure to venin!

Dedicated to Dunne to cure Violet

…

Who wants to see a dedicated Xaden to Malek now ???