"What brings Kaz Brekker into my shop at this time of day?"

One last thing, you were also dead. You had died at sixteen when the Dime Lions had raided your store and taken everything you’d worked so hard to get. Kaz had been the one to find you that morning. He had sat opposite your body, unable to touch you but unable to look away. He had done everything he could to make sure you were buried nicely and left in peace for the rest of time.

You hadn’t deserved the hand you’d been dealt and to see you standing in front of him now was jarring, to say the least. The woman in front of him now wasn’t the sixteen year old that had died, you were the same age as Kaz, all grown up like you should’ve been.

"Kaz?"

Kaz took a breath. "You’re dead."

"Everyone dies at some point Kaz. I know I’m dead because I’m not actually here. This is all in your mind Kaz, so enjoy yourself."

"What?"

You lift yourself onto the counter. "Your mind showed you me for a reason, what are you searching for?"

Kaz stayed silent, pulling himself to his feet. It was then that he realised, he wasn’t wearing his gloves, his hands were bare.

"What do you want Brekker?"

"I want revenge." Kaz’s expression hardened. "I want Pekka Rollins dead, for me, for Jordie and for you."

"Kaz, he doesn’t even know who you are."

Kaz sneered, "He knows Kaz Brekker."

"And I’ve known you since before Kaz Brekker was even born." You say to him. "Don’t lecture me about the past."

"If you have all the answers, what are you here for?" Kaz angrily asked, getting more annoyed at your mirage.

"There are never many options in this world Kaz, especially in Ketterdam, you need to learn to use what you have."

"Stop speaking in riddles."

"We all have demons Kaz Brekker. You don't forget about them and they don't go away."

"What the fuck does that even mean?"

You laugh at his misery and confusion. "You need to wake the fuck up. You're living in the past, letting your ghosts dictate your future and letting yourself be led by them instead of by yourself."

"Says the ghost."

"I'm telling you to move on Kaz. Wake up and do something for you, not me or Jordie." Your voice was getting louder and louder, trying to get Kaz to listen to you.

"Do something for me!? I've only been doing things for me my whole life. If I didn't, I'd me dead. My hands are covered in blood I've spilt, for me!"

"Look at your hands Kaz Brekker."

He does look down at his ungloved hands. They're absolutely impeccable and spotless, if a little pale.

"If you are the infamous ‘Dirtyhands’, get your hands dirty Kaz Brekker. Get your hands fucking dirty!" You yell. "Stop being a coward and stand up."

Kaz snapped his eyes opened, pushing someone's hand away from him as he took his first real breath in minutes. The harsh reality of your words was starting to sink in, except they weren't really your words.

How was he supposed to move on the way you wanted him to? He had to make your death worth something, make your life worth something even more. How was he supposed to forget everything that had happened?

But you had also said that demons are always there. So he should use his demons however he wants because they're his demons. They do what he wants and the whole world is at his fingertips...

The car ride back to the shop was quiet and awkward, as you expected. 

You and Azula sat in the back, while Iroh and Zuko were up front. Every now and again, you’d cast a glance back to Azula, just trying to get a read on her. She was silent, the sound of her breathing just barely audible. 

Once you made it back to the shop, You, Zuko, and Azula sat in the tea ceremony room, the air just as thick with tension as it was in the car. Iroh had left to go and bring everyone some food and tea, just wanting to take care of everyone. He came back with a green tea pot, still visibly steaming. Once he places it down on the table, he gets up to grab more things, coming back with a tray. On top rested cups for the four of them, one filled with ice, and a bunch of assorted baked goods. Iroh gave each of you a cup, the one with ice going to Zuko, and then poured the tea in each of them. He handed you a fruit tart, the exact same pastry he gave to you for free when you had come into the shop for the first time a month ago, and he handed Zuko and Azula some red bean cakes. 

“I hope you still like those, Azula.” He says, finally taking his own seat. Azula looks at the red bean cakes, and you swear you recognize a bit of happiness glinting in her eyes. She takes a small bite while still staying silent. 

“Thank you, Iroh.” You say politely as you take a bite of the fruit tart. Zuko also says a quiet thank you, taking a sip of his cold jasmine tea. The four of you eat, and have small conversations. It almost feels normal, but you know that this is just a precursor to the hard conversation that the rest of them are gonna have. 

“Father wants me to take over the business for him.” Azula finally breaks her silence. You sit and look at the face’s of the family members. You’re not quite sure what that means but by the looks on Iroh and Zuko’s faces you know it’s not meant to be a good thing. You take notice of Zuko’s clenched fist and the way he stares intently at his cup of iced tea. 

“Oh?” Iroh says. It’s room for her to continue talking, but Azula has nothing more to say about it. She nods, avoiding everyone’s eyes. 

“Do you want to?” Iroh asks. Zuko’s gaze goes up to look between his sister and uncle, anxiously awaiting to see how she’ll answer. 

“I…I don’t know what I want…Going to university was supposed to be my way of figuring it out but he just keeps on pushing- and I think I'm going insane.” She laughs bitterly, rubbing at her eyes harshly and tugging at her hair. You reach out and grab her wrist gently, pulling it away from her scalp and down on the table to stop her from actually pulling out any strands. Azula breathes out shakily. 

“...What do you mean? You think you’re going insane?” Zuko asks the question gently.

“I hear his voice in my head. It’s been getting worse. I kept seeing him everywhere. I thought I could escape here but I swear to the spirits that he was here…” The three of you let her words sink in. 

“This is something that’s been happening? You’ve heard voices before-” You ask nicely. That doesn’t stop Azula from getting defensive. 

“I’m not crazy.” Azula snaps at you. Her golden eyes shimmering with anger, her mood shifting with every word. It’s clear that you need to be very precise with your next words.

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Azula.” You say honestly. Azula’s face softens slightly. 

“You’ve been hearing things, and last night you said you saw your father here in Ba Sing Se. I think you might need to consider talking to someone about it. These things are very real, and you’ve handled it as well as you could on your own for years now…I think you should consider seeking out help.” 

You all sit quietly as Azula thinks about it. 

“I go to therapy. Usually once a week. It’s helped me a lot with everything since I left the fire nation, and my therapist is always kind and honest with me. It might be good for you, Lala.” Zuko adds gently. 

“What if father finds out-”

“He won’t.” Iroh says firmly. He’s clearly quite set on the topic, and is willing to support Azula in any way possible. You nod in agreement.

“Since you’re an adult, he technically won’t even need to be notified. Plus if your therapist is here, he’d be none the wiser.” You add. 

“We’ll figure it out, Lala.” Zuko says softly. Azula looks at her older brother, a noticeable shine in her eyes as she does so. It’s moments like these that you’re reminded of how young she actually is. Despite the way she holds herself and the usual confidence oozing off her, right now she looks just like a hurt little girl. One that had affectionately been nicknamed ‘Lala’ by her older brother. One that had been on her own and left to deal with her troubles for so long. 

“...Okay.” Azula relents with a nod of her head. 

“We’re here for you, Azula.” Iroh reaffirms. You and Zuko nod in agreement. 

“I don’t know if it matters but I don't have a roommate. If you ever wanna come over and just talk or stay over, I’d be happy to have you…Plus if we’ve got other classes together we can study.” You offer. Azula nods again stoically, but if you look a bit closer, you swear that she seems grateful. 

“You’re not alone. We’ll look after you.” Zuko offers a comforting rub on Azula’s shoulder. 

Azula could feel a warmth bloom in her chest, the feeling foreign and strange. For a place as hot and warm as the fire nation, she could never recall ever feeling quite this way before- as if she were finally being bathed in sunlight after 18 years of being chased by flames. All this to realize that she had never truly known warmth at all. Being here, surrounded by her uncle, classmate, and brother, spirits she had missed her brother, was one of the few times she had ever felt at peace. 

Her father had encouraged her behavior for so long, conning Azula to believe that she was unlike her brother. That she was born to be everything Zuko wasn’t. He demanded greatness from the 12 year old girl and cut all of her ties with the only other family member she had left, the only one who understood what their father was truly like. For a long time she managed to play the part, and do it impeccably…up until it cost her the people who she had been friends with her entire childhood. 

Maybe Azula was truly the monster people made her out to be. But here, in the pleasant quiet of her uncle’s tea shop, being attentively cared for the way that a child should be, she actually felt something. She felt that maybe deep down, she had a soul…if that’s what you’d call it.