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Cloud so happy got new communication cards with sharks on it
ID:
1. Shark communication Cards light blue card background with great white sharks in ocean. Words say "Communication cards"
2. "Please be patient I'm autistic"
3. "Please communicate for me" with great white next to diver
4. Whale shark on the phone with meme captions "hello? Yes. This is whale shark" words "my name is Julian"
5. Great white shark plushie with words "my pronouns are He/Him"
ID:
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Istg if I hear one more parent or person online calling the parents/caregivers of their autistic child angels or literal angels from heaven I'm gonna scream! Yes there are moments where my caregiver looks visibly exhausted. But it doenst help knowing our landlady telling my caregiver "omg God bless you i couldn't do the work you do" like damn I'm just trying to live my life. I get it I'm annoying when I have screaming meltdowns but I'm also annoyed by them as well for having them having full blown screaming meltdowns is exhausting for the person having it too not just the caregiver/parent. Parents and caregivers for doing the basic bare minimum and sticking with their kids caring for them full time are still not angels from heaven. I hate the idea of someone telling my caregiver out in public "Oh god bless you" and other bulls**t like even as someone who believes in God i wouldn't do that to another disabled family
Ambiguous emotional rant:
Being nonspeaking/nonverbal, HSN and homebound anyone with high support needs and complex needs knows just how much autonomous and liberating the internet has to be for those of us who have no other safe place to be our true unapologetic, unadulterated, and authentic weird selves. I am very grateful and appreciative for the internet’s existence that it was ever even created/invented by mankind and that we have the freedom of speech to post (hopefully not all Nonspeakers, AAC users, or HSN disabled people have the freedom of speech to post what they like on the internet sadly) but for those who have good supportive caregivers, and those who have learned how to successfully, and safely access the internet World Wide Web, this is my toast to all of you who have found some semblance of human rights, freedom of speech, creative freedom and expression through your own words, I’m all so happy to be born in the right time in human history to have lived to see this day where hundreds of thousands of autistics, LSN, MSN, HSN, those verbal, semi verbal, minimally verbal, and nonverbal/nonspeaking have a place (so sorry for those who have not found it yet, or might not ever), to post what they like, to the best of their ability. I’m just so very grateful to have made a digital footprint on internet history. I pray we can make the internet a safer more inclusive and accessible accepting environment. Those of us who will most likely never be seen or known for who we truly are online than they see us in real life. Just know that you’re welcome here with me.
Julian & Damian
Ughh... can't go into ANY LSN comment section to say my peace without some speaking privegledged person finding what I say offensive just proves how truly divided the autistic community actually is. There's so much division its insane jules just not understand why autistic community can never agree on a single thing without starting conflict and that sadly is part of any minority group when considering community discourse. But I mean I should've expected this. Either way lost another argument with a LSN autistic who has situational mutism and why im the asshole for "gatekeeping" the nonverbal term for only us nonverbal/nonspeaking autistics. Like In NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM DID I IMPLY that this person was not actually autistic. I was just simply stating if it doesnt disable you then its not really autism. If you need even LOW support needs that not mean NO support needs. Cloud understands that its also hard on level 1 autistics who call themselves "high functioning" the person thinks that high functioning is the same as high masking but its really not level one autistics are not high functioning they still struggle (I know this cause my best online friend nonspeaking ally is level 1 and he needs supports) but he not think hes high functioning he just think he high masking but comes with huge price to high mask which jules cannot mask high at all or at all period. If anything can only ignore my needs so appear more resilient but cost jules to do that and jules end up paying for it after by meltdown or shutdown they called me highly ableist when I was only saying a "you" as in hypothetical generalized you person statement. Didn't know nonspeakers only wanting nonspeaking/nonverbal 24/7 people to use nonverbal term is controversial but whatever. Going nonverbal does not equate to selective mutism (as they tried to claim) it just speech loss episode. But claiming i made up term intermittently speaking when Jules not make up term not that they would know since they're more LSN-MSN and speaking priveleged. Jules not understand how my kind tip to help them know is me being ableist or me calling them not autistic. Words are just hard and anyone can focus on one word you say in comment and not focus on the whole comment context taken out of context.
Art banners by @pawboxes
Almost 5 years now since nonverbal/nonspeaking…and its gotten to the point where my internal monologue and thoughts are so loud in my head that it almost tricks me into thinking I’ve just spoken for the first time in years so I dart my eyes over to my caregiver only to realize its painfully obvious she didn’t even hear or turn around to see that I had spoken since it was all in my head…hyperphantasia has insanely amplified the internal voice in my own head that my thoughts are almost indistinguishable from me physically audibly hearing it. The thing is…I hear my internal voice as my Scott teenage AAC voice on Proloquo2Go.
TLDR: please please people stop saying you wish you were actually nonverbal…you don’t you really don’t…if you like hearing the butter soft sound of your voice out loud you will miss it. I guarantee it.
Sincerely, and actually fully nonverbal autistic
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Arquatic Paul here: TW vent mention of feral child syndrome and severe child neglect and isolation childhood trauma
Finding out very recently that our system grew up as a feral child with clinical lycanthropy is so hard for us. Our alters and even some age sliders (myself included) and lots of littles have regressed or pet regressed involuntarily we often black out or go into severe dissociative trances and the next minute we find out we've destroyed half the living room furniture thankfully our caregiver live in aid understands our complex trauma and how we were raised (or lack thereof) since once we were able to come out of it some other alters explained calmly that we were more or less raised by our pet dogs after being left out for hours on end to days in the backyard and yeah its really a lot on our shoulders. Being raised by dogs and I think one time our captors (the family) even adopted a half wolf half dog that more or less took to us our system since we were very young still so we never managed to snap out of our involuntary pet regression. It sucks so bad and it hurts that we cannot control this part of our programming but idk man...it just sucks but being a dog owned by three cats as my emotional support animals they really understand me and they sense I have lycanthropy and that in a way have raised me as much as we've raised them. My cats aren't my pets I dont feel comfortable calling myself a pet owner since I once was a pet myself my cats are my pack I am their family members in their pack and our system was raised by dogs/wolf and my cats are my family. My brothers and sisters. I'm sorry if this is very triggering I know this blog is mostly supposed to be a safe space for our littles but we already have so many other Tumblr accounts. This is also our autistic advocacy blog too for our autistic experiences.
Reblogging my version of this Autism Support Needs from @sunny-uses-aac . Bout time i posted mine.
Arquatic Jules here: Vent post & Life update TW: brief mention of OEA & TBMC and dormancy
Been gone from tumblr posting due to uncovering the origins of how our system was formed the autistic catatonia and dissociative amnesia has been so hard to deal with every single day upon remembering we’re a programmed system and survivor of OEA and TBMC but yeah I’ve been pretty much as the host dormant for most of this year. Upon returning to be the host again while my co host took my place while I was gone thank you so much Paul I love you big guy! I have been really struggling and have been offline due to all of this revelation and discovery so thanks for whoever is still following me despite my chronic inactivness on my blog. The body has been breaking down further due to this discovery and realizations I have lost my entire family or who I thought they were to me but never was. And that has been like watching a slow death of everyone I’ve ever loved and thought loved and cared about me. Been just dissociating so hard loosing time lots of time blindness and losing days at a time.
