#aromantics are valid

queer people of color

queer women / feminine queers

queer men / masculine queers

amab queers

afab queers

intersex individuals

transgender individuals

non-binary indidviduals

any kind of non-conformity (pronoun, gender, label, etc.)

queer alterhumans

neopronominal / varipronominal / multipronominal / apapronominal / alterpronominal / nullpronominal / crosspronoun individuals

xenogenders

aro- / ace- / aroace-spec individuals

disabled queers

queer people who don't confirm with certain stereotypes of their identities or of queer people in general

Me: defends the other labels in the queer community because identities like trans (gender) and aromantic (romantic orientation) have nothing to do with sexuality but queerphobes believe queer=sexuality/sex ONLY which actively invalidates/erases those labels

Other person in the forums: WhY aRe YoU LuMpiNg Aromanticism and Asexuality togEtHer.

*They also added aromantics don’t experience the same struggles as asexuals while i’m actively explaining to this queerphobe that their statement erases other labels. So Aromantics aren’t facing erasure, invalidation and discrimination? Aros don’t experience oppression in an allonormative world either? I had no idea (obvious sarcasm) 💀

And while I have accepted defeat with many fandoms like the funny lawyer one for example, that in more niche and smaller fandoms like the emblem of flames srpg one me and many other aspecs have to face aphobia on the daily is exhausting. Doesn't matter how many years have passed, Tumblr will always have an aphobia problem.

It was basically like "Asexual and aromantic people don't face systemic oppression!"

And... we do. Take a look around at how much value society places on sex and romance. Many systems rely on the expectation you will fall in love and get married. We've all heard the meme about getting married for tax reasons. Romance is even used as a measure of happiness. I'm in therapy, and my therapist will sometimes have to use certain charts and templates with me. A good chunk of them always involve discussing romantic life. I'm blessed that she is perfectly accepting of me being aroace, and we've even discussed how harmful it is that there's so much pressure. I've heard of other people in the community who had their asexuality/aromanticism treated like a problem in therapy.

Or, in the medical industry: I was having severe abdominal pains and went to the ER. The nurses were absolutely convinced it was an STD, despite me swearing I'm not sexually active. They only focused on the idea of an STD. It later ended up being an intestinal issue. They pressured me into doing a pelvic exam, then used the wrong size instrument so I was screaming in pain the whole time. All because they couldn't believe there was a patient who did NOT have sex. Who was NOT in a relationship. The expectation was that teenager = sex.

We are continuously taught this idea that everyone has sex and falls in love. All of our systems are built around it. Our whole society expects it. If you are not in any relationship, you are stereotyped as lonely and/or crazy. If you are in a purely sexual relationship, you are stereotyped as being vain and sex-crazed. If you are in a purely romantic relationship, you are stereotyped as leading your partner on and incompatible with others.

I'm fortunate enough to have grown up surrounded by people who loved and supported me for my identity. I love myself for my identity. But even I have still faced discrimination and harm as a result of it. I still get anxious when a doctor touches me. I still feel left behind when I see my friends getting into relationships. But I don't want to change myself.

I’m you local aroace genderqueer Autism Spectrum Resident, and would like to say we aces and/or aros are perfectly valid and belong in the Lgbtq+ community! If anyone disagrees, kindly leave 🥰