#aroace user

nah that's so real. like imagine making something people enjoyed and then having to do that all over again... oh the pressure... oh god i never thought about this before– wait actually that's so scary njdfjesd imagine never making anything good again after that one hit... uk, like ben. oh man..

being a perfectionist is also holding me back from finishing my script. i wanted to be done with it at the beginning of the year… it’s almost august and i’m once again at square one cuz i decided on a different approach. again. but on the bright side, from all the times that i started over, i kept getting new and better ideas :D i always keep the main theme in mind, i don’t scrape the idea completely.

okay let's move on before i spiral lol

meee, that's so relatable. at school my friends would always talk about other students and i'd never know who these people are, hell i didn't even know the other students in my grade outside of my class.

and going to to new places is so nerve wrecking... especially restaurants and stuff like that. what to get? will i even like it? where to sit? do i leave my plate or bring it somewhere? where do i bring it? where's the restroom? yet at the same time i enjoy traveling to new places. not saying that that isn't overwhelming, it very much is.

you and me both bro 🤝

WOAHSHH ITS BEEN 22 MINUTES HELLO WHAT WHY ARE WE KISSING HEATEDLY AND GETTING NAKED ALREADY NOT TO MENTION THEY JUST MET?!

me whenever i see someone wear something fluffy. i need to know if it feels nice to the touch. like last year at a concert. asked this rando if i could touch his jacket cuz it was so big and fluffy (it was very soft).

oh that's so real too... especially the try to cry. watching this and seeing how the people didn't enjoy it made me realize i will have to leave planet earth once i become a writer and no one likes my movie. (in the sense of flying to another planet, not the concerning kind of leaving)

AGAIN?! ITS HARDLY BEEN 30MIN i mean good for ben. for such an awkward little guy he sure be getting it a lot (even if in this case it was "an experiment") bUT MY GOD WHAT

this should have been meee (the dude not colin. like i'm the dude uk)

idk what's more awkward: bathing with someone or sleeping with someone. hmmm maybe bathing actually cuz you're just... there. and you can't tell me it's comfy to sit in a small tub together.

yea no, i did not like this either– it was so uncomfortable 😭 but like not in the "oh this scene was directed badly" sense uk but like this awkward silence while being looked at... like brother stop perceiving me and just talk

again, very relatable moment. his friend was in distress, quite literally hurt and bruised, but ben didn't really know what to do and looked around and fidgeted. like me too bro me too. idk how to comfort people. the best you'll get from me is an open ear and my hand rubbing your back.

oh now this was an uncomfortable scene– but again, i say this in a good way! like this really captured the awkwardness and all. stuff. man idk words. when you watched this uk what i mean

oh... this part had some kick in it huh... like i know that too and write stories about characters i relate to and use them as an alternative me lol but still!

welp nvm this one not only had a kick in it it full on body slammed me... good thing i'm watching this movie now when i'm feeling good about life and the future and not few days ago.

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it's fine though cuz not feeling anything also means no hurt...

little break from all the sad yapping. look at this cute screenshot again!

and that's what happens when everything snowballs and explodes over the littlest thing (him breaking a window). happens to the best of us.

his reaction to himself crying was so funny though, and so real 😭

FINAL THOUGHTS

the movie wasn't your typical movie. it was real and authentic. the characters stuttered and mumbled, clothes got stuck on door knobs, and how it was shot felt like being there somewhere watching these people. the characters weren't perfect at all, hell i didn't even like anyone except for ben and noah, they felt alive and real. laughed quite a lot watching this, though mostly out of embarrassment i think lmao. either way had a good laugh.

batty? whatever the girl's name was, was very strange. probably the one with the most issues. couldn't stand her one bit. she cheated on her bf then got mad that he was texting someone, or she yelled at stephen and said he was being super weird when he actually wasn't for once. she lied about enjoying any of the performances she had seen. she kept calling others weird yet she had the most curious personality.

her boyfriend was also questionable. he cheated on her with ben for "an experiment", he wanted to make a movie with no plot and meaning and just "maroon"???? i mean you go, guy, do your experimental movie. but what.

stephen was fine at first. just an awkward dude like ben. but then he started talking more and more... and then had that outburst after ben's screening, and his concerning standup comedy act. must admit though, at the end there i actually got worried that the end of his comedy career would be the final blow especially with what he said at the show about if he were an orphan. thank god he was well, otherwise ben would have lost his only friend.

speaking of ben, in case it wasn't clear enough yet, i really resonated with this character. which is unfortunate cuz i looked at some reviews and people said they couldn't stand him (and the others) but like why?? compared to the others (minus noah) he was pretty normal. he was just very socially awkward and obviously going through a rough patch in his life :( reminds me of that one time my friend's first boyfriend didn't like me cuz i didn't talk nearly as enough in his opinion... like dude i don't know you, i have no idea how to talk to new people 🧍🏽getting side tracked again... ben. yea, relatable and he had a kitty! like me. (also my brain is so confused. like ik it’s colin but i don’t really see colin. i see a young sherlock aka benedict. it’s the hair i tell ya. and sometimes the fit. and a bit the smile and facial structure.)

noah. yea. i actually have no opinion on him whatsoever. he was just there. like he was so normal. the complete opposite to betty. calm and collected. even when the whole thing with ben's ex happened he just wanted ben to talk to understand him instead of get angry and yell at him. not quite sure why he suddenly broken off things at the start with ben though.

not sure what to think of the ending of the movie tbh. one one hand i like it cuz with the whole realism and stuff it's a fitting ending. like it's not truly the end of the story for the characters', their lives go on and this was just a another day. on the other hand however, it just felt to unfulfilling. like there was still things to do and stuff. as i already mentioned, i get the vision but stillll.

anyway. enough rambling. it's 8am already. my laptop needs to charge and i gotta sleep lol i