#aro-allo

And another one

•The problem was caused by a lack of communication. Once that became clear – and to some extent even before then – Atria told him exactly where she stands. She doesn’t get the whole concept of romance, but she enjoys sex; she’s attracted to men, women, and aliens; she likes multiple partners. He did no such thing. I get that alloros suck at explaining romantic attraction, but he didn’t even tell her he wanted a monogamous relationship. He communicated jack shit in this episode.

•He’s incredibly arophobic, telling her to her face that he wanted to “change” her (as if you could change someone’s orientation), and that she’s just not “capable” of the feelings he wants from her. As if, just because she doesn’t experience romantic attraction, that makes the kind of love she has for him any less. If he doesn’t want to be with somebody who doesn’t experience romantic attraction, he should just say so and let her get over it. There’s no need to be cruel.

•Atria is romance-positive! She had a lot of fun on their date, even though she didn’t get what if had to do with their having sex. There are aros who date, and even if that side of their relationship feels performative to her, it could work out fine. If he’d been upfront with her, she’d be willing to try the kind of relationship he wanted.

•As, in fact, she does! The episode ends with her breaking it off with her other sexual partners in the hopes of making him happy. But relationships are about compromise, and he’s making her do all the work. She’s the one who’s changing everything about the way she interacts with sex to please him, while he just sits there. She shouldn’t have to change who she is to please some dude who’s not even gonna meet her halfway.