#arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

i was sent to a hemophilia clinic for it because "they are the best." they have to see if i have a bleeding disorder of some sort to include me in their program, so they took a billion vials of blood (like, 14-16) and sent out for a bunch of tests.

they asked me a million questions about my menstrual cycle and looked at my family history and recommended genetic testing (because my mom is an alpha1 anti-trypsin carrier w/ symptoms like fatty liver disease) even though my liver enzymes test from december was good.

they also asked if i thought i might be hypermobile or have EDS and even when i said no (i worked w/ someone who had this who was a lot like me in the sense of having arthritis starting young, so i have a good idea of what it looks like and that doesn't seem like me) they mentioned testing for it anyway if these results didn't come back with any bleeding disorders. i couldn't tell if they were saying this because some people don't know they have EDS when they do, or if doing so is them buying time to keep me on "as a patient" long enough to get me my infusions.

anyway, this is a classic case of mychart drip feeding me test results but they need to look at all of them to get a good picture of what it means, and i'm losing my mind a little while i wait for all the results and for them to call to discuss the findings.

that said, now that all the results are in but one, i have to say it's almost funny that so far they are all the opposite of a bleeding disorder?? lol. my fibrinogen tests (activity & antigen) both came back high--with the antigen being like 472mg/dL (with normal range being 180-350) and the activity being 412 (normal range being 200-393).

this kind of fits well with my ESR test from december being abnormal too. yay inflammation--it's everywhere. (the blizzard last week had my hands hurting SO BAD and it still hasn't completely faded.)

at least we're finding something, even if it's starting to look like it will suck. (i've had arthritis since i was 20. my mom has seronegative RA. my grandmother had RA.)

all of this to say i lost five hours of my day to feeling like death. i'm really pissed off about it because i want to write but man my body just wants to shut down instead.

fuck you, body. i still finished chapter 27 today before it all went to shit.