#applejack mlp

Twilight and Spike walk into a farm full of apple trees.

Spike: First thing on a list is to check with the catering. A pony named Applejack and her family should be in charge of it.

Twilight: Great! Where is she?

Spike: No clue.

They then hear snoring. Loud snoring. They look to see an orange pony with a blonde mane, Applejack, snoring against a tree.

Applejack: Zzzz...Get outta mah farm...Zzzz...Get out of my frickin' farm, Rarity...

Twilight: Is that her?

Spike: No idea?

Twilight: Could you wake her up? Maybe ask?

Spike: Why do I have to--Oh, whatever...

He carefully walks over to Applejack and pokes her with his quill.

Applejack: *Snort*! WHAT?!

Instincts kick in and she gets up and bucks Spike so hard he goes flying past Twilight.

Spike: WAAAAAAAAAAH!

THUNK!

Spike: ...I'm okay...

Applejack: What's goin' on?! (To Twilight) The hell are you?

Twilight: U-Uh, I'm Twilight Sparkle! That was my son/brother Spike.

Spike: I was adopted!

Twilight: And we're only here to check on your preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration.

Applejack: Oh...Oh, right. The super fancy pony up from Canterlot. Hang on...

She digs into her stetson and pulls out a flask, taking a swig from it.

Twilight: What's in there?

Applejack: *Burp*! Life juice. But if my sister asks, you tell her it's apple juice. I can't lie to that cute little face.

Twilight: Oh. Okay.

Applejack: Yup. Now move it.

With an apple

i do not mind that rarity and applejack were cut from the protagonist role in G6. HEAR ME OUT. I DONT HATE THEM. but back during G4 we've always joked about Applejack being reduced to a background character before. It's clear Hasbro plays favorites with the Mane 6 and so obviously when rebooting it through G6 they'd cut out the ones that were deemed unprofitable compared to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Twilight.

You know those edgy My Little Pony parodies that existed throughout the show's runs where writers made the characters assholes and swore a bunch? Well, I, as an edgy eighteen year old, tried my hand in making my own My Little Pony parody that I tried to post onto the Friendship is Magic fanfiction sight...I didn't get past the first episode because I was bad and lazy.

But now, as a slightly less edgy twenty-something year old, I've decided to try it again. Because, I don't know, I liked the jokes and concepts I came up with for this back when I was eighteen, so I figured i'd try it up again. You know, since I've gained more of a following and have something no other Pony Parody writer had when they started: Future knowledge of the whole series! I can plan out entire running gags and character arcs far better than that one guy who made Applejack and Spike kiss for some reason!

So, follow me on this journey called My Little Pony: Friendship is Mandatory. A parody where a group of ponies have to stay friends no matter how often they stress each other out because the fate of the world literally depends on them sticking together.

Staring...

Twilight Sparkle: An overachieving unicorn who wants to prove she's worthy of being a mentor to the great and holy Princess Celestia. And often acting just as naive and overly kind as the idiot god that these ponies worship.

Applejack: An overworked and often irritated earth pony who runs her farm essentially by herself because the rest of her family is either too old, too young, or too focused on the mares in this town. And a lot of the time, she feels like she's the only one in town with a function braincell...that she consistently kills with the flask she keeps in her stetson.

Rainbow Dash: A gruff and straightforward pegasus who dreams to be captain of the Royal Guard one day. Unfortunately, due to gender discrimination in the Royal Guard, they don't often accept mares due to some outdated nonsense of them being perceived as weaker of stallions. She wants to overthrow the regime and prove them wrong, but that'll take time, so for now she trains to be a member of the Wonderbolts to cope for the time being. They're still military...She thinks.

Rarity: A posh businesspony who is one of the few ponies in town that actually owns a proper business. Meaning it's the main source of income in town and everyone works for with a generous pay of minimum wage. But she's always planning to expand everywhere in Equestria and is happy to rub elbows with anypony that gets her that leg up. So she's ecstatic to be friends with the Princess' prodige...and less so due to the fact that she has to deal with her old friend Applejack.

Fluttershy: A shy pegasus who exists to suffer...Unfortunately, that's all one can really do with her. But don't worry, she'll sometimes stand up for herself...when it's convenient.

Pinkie Pie: A silly, happy pony who knows E V E R Y T H I N G...! Including all of the lore, the fates of all her friends, and even the day that you, the reader, will die! Hooray! But don't worry, she'll ease the tension by being such a goofy little rascal.

(I didn't write that--Who wrote that? And why is this PINK?)

Don't worry about it.

Oh, and Spike is also there! He's exhausted and feels like he's the only one who makes sense in this town, besides Applejack, but he's there!