#apathlikeatrack

He smiled at the last text before exiting out the app and closing his phone, making the last few steps down the sidewalk to Bo’s building. He resumed his usual quick visual sweep of his surroundings, just to make sure there was no one suspicious eyeing him back. It had become something of a habit...one he only just now realized he had neglected the whole way here in favor of keeping up with the text conversation. Perhaps that had been irresponsible. It felt like a welcome reprieve. 

Nevertheless, he was grateful to be inside the security of the building, even more so to be joining the company of a friend. This is what he considered Bo to be, in any case, dangerous though that label could be. He found solace in knowing there was someone he could trust and feel comfortable around. It was difficult to convince himself there was anything wrong with that. 

Uoi liekd that post right>? U’m tired of retyping shit so you fget awried grammer fuck rteight now while UI’m  drinliing all this vodka. Mun fcking loves you and so does mun. Like you we’rwe the first I ever chatted/rped with through Tolkien shit on Tumbler to be real. We’ve talked about stuff outside of rp and I am so glad you came back the same time I did. You will forever be one of my favs and I mean that a lot. Like I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU’RE MY FAMILY FOREVER!AMEN!

It had been a moment of weakness––that admission, and certainly so in front of the dwarf––and he regrets it instantly, but the words cannot be taken back now.

And the other’s words… 

The dwarf could not possibly know how close his words strike to the truth of the matter. About how few nights he has slept. Since the Battle of Dagorlad… Since the serpents of the North… Since his wife was––…

There is a clench to his jaw, and there is a shadow that crosses his face, a darkness and a weariness to his eyes. It is no more than a flash, the briefest glimpse past his oh-so-carefully-crafted façade…

And then it is gone and he gazes down at the other.

He will not admit the truth, his weakness, his vulnerability, and so he pivots, changing the focus of the conversation.

Dis couldn't help but chuckle, warrior? Now that was something she had not been called in a very long time. She flashed an amused glance at her friend before going back to mashing the potatoes. "I haven't been a warrior for a very long time, Bofur," She reached for the seasoning, "And I highly doubt I shall ever be one again.”

“What do you think will happen? After we get there. After Smaug is gone. After the mountain is taken back. Where do you go from there?”

Call Bilbo someone who thought too far ahead, maybe, but he was always a forward thinker. Perhaps they didn’t know, and that was okay. After all, none of them knew, really, how they would get rid of Smaug, but..Bilbo still couldn’t help but be curious.

“Right, so...I know at some point you must have wondered what was going on, for me to insist upon going to this...”

He spoke of the exhibition which featured two things Thorin hadn’t much use for the rest of the time; extensive, shallow social interaction and those piles of rubbish that called themselves modern art. He felt certain Bo would’ve seen around this facade pretty quickly...or at least suspected it.