Once upon a time, a few years ago, this wild child of mine dropped an observation on me. Changed my life. They said - that I only ever get sad//not mad. That in situations where it's reasonable and normal to get angry, I instead feel sadness. Why? Because I suppress my anger. Trying to be "good," to avoid conflict and confrontation, forever the peacemaker since I was a little girl attempting to manage my dad's irrational outbursts. That I've developed a tendency to turn the blame inward. Say - someone steals $20 from me. Instead of aiming the feelings outward, being upset at them, confronting them, telling them to give it back.... I aim it inwards, I feel sad that something is wrong with the other person that they felt the need to steal, that I should've kept my money more secure, that maybe I should've checked on them because maybe they're having hard times, etc. I never realized how much I live my whole.damn.life. this way. Suppressing my words, silencing my feelings, swallowing up my anger. Until I've become too timid to demand fair treatment, to have healthy boundaries, to limit people's access, to speak up when I'm upset. I'm silent, (well, you know me, I chatter constantly like an anxious magpie, but it's different with hard issues) until I explode. And maybe trying so hard to never rock the boat, be good so people will like me, never upset anyone... maybe it's taken too much from me, those suppressed words coming at the expense of my own mental health. This poem is insanely perfect for me, is what I'm saying. Please, tell me someone else relates here too? π€ #peoplepleaser #anxiousattachment #anxietyanddepression #anxiousmind #conflictavoidance #cryingquotes #sadquotes #strongwomenquotes #anxietybelike #overthinker #empathsbelike #empathproblems #feelingsquotes #allthefeels https://www.instagram.com/p/CnsFAbSvqZh/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
