#anti...

So… yeah, probably not my favourite episode. It’s not terrible as such, and I love some bits and pieces that came out of it, but overall, it just leaves a weird aftertaste.

One of my main problems is definitely that every character seems a bit… off. Not entirely OOC, just “the usual character, but a bit to the left”. And when that’s happening to the entire cast, you do wonder if some kind of alien bodysnatching has taken place. …wait, no, this is fantasy. Maybe a doppelgänger situation, then? Whatever it is, people are being weird this episode, and I don’t like it.

Before I get into anything else, before I get into anything else, though, I just want to mention the one bit I unequivocally liked. And that was Regina visiting Daniel’s headstone. It had next to nothing to do with the actual plot, but it was such a sweet moment, and seeing the look on Regina’s face when she realised that her first love had made it out was just… nice. I liked it. And I appreciate it when we get to see the little moments.

good on you, stable boy.

Just... look at her face! She almost didn’t want to know, and then she was so happy, but also sad, because of course she would be sad, and... ::happy sigh:: Yeah, again: a good moment, this moment.

Alright, on to the main plot. Specifically, the flashback, because it lays the foundation for a lot of… let’s be polite and call it “stuff” in the present.

It took me a while to realise how the plot connects to the present day (more on that later), and even now that I do, I’m still not sure if this flashback was, strictly speaking, necessary.

Yes, we had to introduce drama around Belle being pregnant (apparently), but I’m not convinced this was best way — or even a good way — to do it. At best, the story felt like retreading old ground, and not in the way that showed new facets, either and at worst, it undermines fundamental pieces of established character history. Specifically: one of spinner!Rumple’s defining characteristics was his willingness to do absolutely anything for his son. Now, I’m not blaming him for flinching away from a murder in any way, shape, or form, but I just don’t get with the story was supposed to show me in terms of character depth.

I’m also slightly perplexed by Milah’s reaction to the deal Rumple made with the healer. (And was the only one who thought “if you wanted that guy dead so badly, why didn’t you stab him yourself?”)  No, I didn’t expect her to be thrilled, but… how should I put this… Baelfire is something between five and six in this flashback. Something tells me you weren’t really trying to have any more children at this point.

Also, an honourable mention to this weird Hook-doppelgänger, who turns up in the last couple of seconds.

I mean, we’ve seen other flashbacks of Hook from around this time, and while he might have had his tender moments, I don’t believe he had this full-on Romantic Hero mode in him. Especially not in defence of the complete stranger.

Ah, well, water under the bridge and all that.

Back in the present day, let me start with one little tidbit for those among you who are just as immature as I am: apparently, “Underbrook” sounds exactly like “onderbroek”, which is the Dutch word for underpants. (With thanks to @idesignedthefjords) Do with that knowledge what you will. I mostly just giggled at it a lot.

Alright, back to the actual plot. Specifically:

Belle is pregnant. Yay?

…as with the entire episode, I really don’t know how to feel about that. Good things can have bad timing, but I feel like this timing is particularly bad. (Also, they’ve come this far without addressing Emilie de Ravin’s rather obvious baby bump, so it’s not like this is a “we had to write in the pregnancy to explain the pregnancy” situation.) I mean, if nothing else, my OTP is having a baby and there’s at least some part of me that’s happy about that. But please get your shit together, you two, so I can stop worrying about this whole mess.

In conclusion: I should probably be thrilled about the tiny Rumbelle baby (Rumbaby?), but I’m mostly worried. This has all the hallmarks of something that will go extremely, terribly, horribly wrong, and that’s before we count in the fact that technically, the god of the dead has guardianship over the little sproglet and is currently blackmailing its father.

that makes for two blackmailings this season alone. three more and he gets a free footlong!

Also, remember how Pan is not allowed to use the word “fertile” again, ever, in this world or any other?

Yeah, I’m officially taking the words “baby-making” away from Hades, and he’s not getting them back. Sorry, pal, but you’ve proven that you can’t use them responsibly.

OK, inappropriate humour over (for now), back to one of my more burning questions. Which is “What the hell were you thinking, Emma?”

The fact that you told Milah about Neal shows that you know that his wellbeing is of concern to people who aren’t you or Henry. In fact, you’ve never met the woman before, never heard a single word about her until that hilarious introduction, but you immediately intuited that she’d want to know that her son is safe and happy.

…so why did it never occur to you to tell his father? The man literally spent centuries trying to reunite with his son, and you know all of that.

just my uninformed opinion, but this looks like the face of a man who would have liked having that information earlier. and possibly to his face.

So what was the thought process there? Because what comes across is that she was cruel for cruelties sake alone. Not the best angle for one of the main characters, who’s already looking like a selfish ass for dragging her family down to purgatory to save her boyfriend.

Speaking from a writerly perspective, it’s obviously for Plot Reasons, because otherwise Rumple wouldn’t have scryed for his child, so he wouldn’t have found out about Belle’s pregnancy, Hades wouldn’t have been alerted, and Rumple would have no compelling reason to work for him. I’d still like to think that there is a better way to get all of these points across than… this.

By the way, here’s where the flashback connects to the present-day plot, in my opinion: both past and present Rumple were presented with a choice of taking a life in order to save others. (The parallel isn’t perfect, because Hades didn’t bring up Rumple’s unborn child until later, but I think when the literal god of the dead threatens to kill everyone you brought with you, that still counts as imminent danger.) First time around, he refused and found another way, and was punished for it. Both by Milah’s reaction and, oddly enough, by the narrative. In the present, he doesn’t hesitate to deliver the fatal blow, and that’s presented as a bad thing, too. I doubt this was the original intention, but what I’m getting is “sometimes, there are no good choices”. Which is… well, kind of a bummer. (As an aside, I do have to wonder if Hades let Milah see him on purpose, just to back Rumple into this particular corner. It would fit with his personality…)

The one thing I’m objectively angry at, is the writing. Because I want the people responsible to look me in the eye and say that it was really necessary to fridge the same character twice. I don’t even like Milah, but this just made me really uncomfortable. Are you really telling me that there was no other way to make Hades look “scary” and remind us that Rumple does bad shit when he’s backed into a corner?

good scene, though

In a darkly humorous turn of events, this time it wasn’t even his fault for not telling anyone else about the threat. Because Hades’s ultimatum was basically “destroy this ship right now, or everyone here dies”. That doesn’t leave much time to find a loophole, does it?

If nothing else, I did like the quiet conversation between Rumple and Milah. The two actors really got that underlying emotion of “way too much time has passed for us to still hate each other” across. I think that was reflected in Rumple’s comment afterwards. No, he didn’t enjoy killing Milah (Frankly, I highly doubt he enjoyed the first time, but that’s literally another story), because that part of his life is so far behind him, and so far behind her, too, that all strong emotions have long since burned away. I don’t think he would have begrudged her if she had gotten to move on. Shame that never happened, right? ::glares at writers::

Blergh. Sorry this was such a rambling mess, but I was really happy when I realised this was a Rumple-centric, only to have that joy systematically crushed into a pulp of bewildered incomprehension and a faint sense of betrayal. This episode probably wasn’t bad, from a technical standpoint, but it was decidedly unpleasant to watch.

So, to not close this out on me being mopey and annoyed... here’s the Amazon episode summary.