Stories of Days Past
Okay this is a Leo Valdez angst/vent story written in half an hour while I watched Jurassic Park. It is not beta read or spelled checked and it’s probably ass but this is my situation bar for bar with my boyfriend and writing about it makes me feel better. So boom, who’s coping now. There is a content warning in this for sexual content but not smut, more like mention of sex. So beware. Lmk if you want to be tagged and enjoy!
words ~ 1k
tags ~ sad, angst, sexual content but only mentions, Leo Valdez, no use of y/n, insecure!reader, jealous!reader, no comfort sorry
You didn’t want to be jealous.
You’d spent your whole life being jealous.
Jealous of the girl whose boobs sat better than yours, jealous of the girl with the bigger butt, wishing you had the little waist, the flat tummy. Hating the girl with clear skin who looked good without forty-five minutes spent getting ready. Wishing that you had perfect grades effortlessly like she did. Yearning for prettier hair, a different nose, a sharper jaw, nicer legs.
You never felt pretty.
There was always someone else that was better than you.
You weren’t hideous, but you weren’t the prettiest.
You weren’t stupid, but you didn’t have perfect grades.
Always an option, never the choice made.
Leo made you feel pretty.
He laughed at your jokes, called you a genius when you solved a problem, complimented you like it was his full-time job.
Leo made you feel good about yourself for the first time in a long time.
But no relationship was perfect, no man was perfect.
“Dude okay- so little lore drop. Basically I heard from someone that Calypso thought that I was spreading rumors about what we did, right? And all I ever did was finger her but I didn’t spread that cause like- I don’t hate her, ya know? She broke up with me out of nowhere which was… annoying, I still don’t know why we broke up- but anyways! I don’t know who would have been saying stuff cause I didn’t really tell anyone,” Leo ranted, sitting back against the headboard of his bed.
He was doing that passionate, hand motions thing that he did when he was really getting into what he was talking about. His curls were all wild and sticking up everywhere, there was a little dirt on his cheek, and there was a burn on the front of his green shirt. It was the usual Leo, your Leo.
“What the fuck?” you laughed, a little uncomfortable as you crossed your arms over your chest. You were sitting at the foot of his bed, half-fiddling with your bracelet as he talked. But the second he mentioned his ex- worse- what he’d done with her, nothing seemed very funny anymore. “That’s so icky, Leo. Why is she causing problems with you, y'all broke up like eight months ago.”
You weren’t quite sure why he did this.
Maybe he didn’t realize that it wasn’t socially okay to word-vomit your past sex life to your new girlfriend.
Maybe he didn’t realize that it made you vaguely uncomfortable and a little insecure.
Maybe it was the ADHD not letting his brain process the words before they were spilling out of his mouth.
“Yeah, I dated the hottest girl in my grade last year. We didn’t date for very long but she was super hot. I sucked her tits one time and that was it.”
“I’ve had a crush on the same girl at least once a year for the past four years. I was super in love with her.”
“I looked up what the clit was before the first time I gave a girl head. I think I did a good job.”
“Yeah, my ex had huge boobs. She was skinny, though. I think she was a 32 triple D. It’s okay, though. I don’t care that you’re not like that.”
It was never “yeah she was so much prettier than you” or “my ex did blah blah blah, I wish you were more like that”. It was just little things, mentioning her without you bringing her up.
And he probably didn’t mean it to hurt you but fuck- all it did was break you down.
It made you question.
It made you doubt.
But you loved him and he loved you and he would never go back to his ex, surely-
But then it was night and Leo was in Bunker Nine and you were stuck in your cabin and he wasn’t answering his phone and it made you ache.
You wanted to reminisce about your last date, about how he held your hand and how softly he kissed you. About how he told you he loved you and stayed a little longer than he should have just to kiss you one more time.
Instead, all you could think about was the fact that he did stuff before he met you.
And it’s not like you could hold it against him, how was he supposed to wait for you if he hadn’t even known you existed?
But all you could think about was his face in someone else’s chest, his fingers between her legs, his head between her legs- ugh.
But he swore- he swore that he was a virgin and that you were his first. And you wanted to believe him but if he’d done other things… and maybe he thought that was what you wanted to hear so he lied so you would ghost him?
“Ugh-” you groaned, tossing your phone aside and burying your face into your pillow.
You didn’t want to be insecure about this, you didn’t constantly want to stalk his ex’s instagram looking for every way in which she was better than you, prettier, skinnier. You didn’t want to feel horrible about yourself every time he was dry, or in a bad mood, or too busy for you.
You sighed and searched around in your sheets for your phone again.
Once it was in your grasp, you swiped open your snap conversation with Leo.
Delivered for an hour. Last active three minutes ago.
You huffed and deleted the last snap you’d spent him. Then you sat in chat and waited. And nothing. No text. No snap. No apology for ghosting you when he was clearly on his phone.
If he was active, what was he doing? Was he on call? Was he texting someone? Did he see your notification and just not care to answer?Â
You fucking hated how your brain worked. You just wanted to be happy. You wanted to be in love without the fear, without the worry.
—----------------------------------------------------
Babygirl: k goodnight leo i love you
Valdez: typing…
Valdez: goodnight love you too
—----------------------------------------------------
You sighed and put your phone on the nightstand. Delivered for almost two hours but the second you say goodnight, he responds. Fuck.
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