#and weird...

Comforting the young human in his arms, Demise whispered promises into golden locks of hair--he had seen through the facade and magic surrounding the human’s body, making them look older, but appearance does not a Hero make. This was still a child wielding a sword that stood taller and much heavier than anything they were used to.

Demise couldn’t decide if he was more shocked or angry that the Goddess Hylia had sent a child no older than 12 years to fight in her stead. Had she really expected him to fight a young innocent soul, now traumatised and tainted by the deep scars of war and blood? How could she sacrifice the mortals she so loved, especially one so young and inexperienced? Demise felt everything but compassion towards humans but he was not heartless and had standards and dignity in the blazes of battle.

It's a slow day on Tumblr if your dash is 60% Sailor Moon, 10% Godzilla fan yelling at yeah other, 10% Furry comics that are kinda dumb but pretty funny, and 20% people falling into puddles that look really shallow but are really deep. And before that you watch the South Park episodes that led up to the Stick of Truth video game that is really reminiscent of Game of Thrones even though you have never watched South Park or Game of Thrones in your life. You think South Park is actually pretty freaking hilarious only from watching like four episodes and according to South Park Game of Thrones is actually just a giant gay medieval thing with a lot of soft wieners but you're not quiet sure about that. And then your dad calls you in a really somber tone and you think he just got laid off even though there is no chance of that happening and as it turns out we're just going to go eat pizza with some family friends you kinda dislike but really pretend to like because they pretend to like you when they really think you're a psychopath.

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

"Amazing!"

"Agreed."

"She knew how to use her tongue."

"My girl had the longest legs."

"That’s all we’re willing to say…"

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

"Fingers through my hair."

"Yep. It sends the shivers."

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

"That’s a hard one… What do you think Fred?"

"Uh… A broom! Quidditch and sex doesn’t mix!"

"Yes! Good one! Quidditch time is professional time!"

"It’s like the only time we’re decently serious."

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________

"She was ridiculously hairy down there…" Fred shuddered.

"Ew… For me… I guess it was when I had a little too much to drink and … You know…"

"Aah…"

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

"Listening to the Lion King Festival soundtrack"

"Hermione made us listen to it…"

"It made my nipples hard…"

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

"Obviously magic…"

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

"Food…" answered one twin.

"Lingerie," answered the other.

"Ooh! I like his better! Lingerie!"

10: Top or bottom?

"Both!"

"It would be dull to just consistently do it one way…"

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

"Pudding."

"Ice cubes."

23: Biggest turn on:

"A girl’s laughter."

"Agreed. If she can’t laugh at my jokes, then what’s the point?"

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

"Neck."

"Back."

"Somewhere along my sides…"

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]

"Love > Sex."

"Always."

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

"…"

"…"

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

"Like to?"

"Or in?"

"I’m confused…"

"Same, mate…"

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

"Just one!?"

"Why are these questions so hard!?"

"…Whatever the hell is already on!"

"We’re men! We don’t stop to put music on!"

"If I have her in the mood, I’m not going to stop to put music on!"

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

"I swore we answered this already…"

"It does seem familiar…"

"Strawberries…?" One offered.

"Satin for me… It’s nice to the touch…"

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

"Lesbian…"

"Because why not…?"

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

"That child would be less than a month old…"

"I think two for me."

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

"Yes."

"Yes."

"It’s fun."

"Always different too."

They snickered.

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

"…"

"…"

"No," they both said at the same time.

"Technically we could seeing as how we share the same identical DNA…"

"But we are not interested…"

"At all…"

70: Booty or Boobs?

"Boobs."

"Booty is just a nice bonus."

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

"Ewww… No!"

"Do you know how many siblings we have!?"

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

"Burn it…"

"Quick."

"Now." They pull out their wands.

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?