#amyntor

Alexander and Hephaistion as Boys

Curtius tells us they did, when he introduces Hephaistion for (apparently) the first time in book three (3.12.15). We get there a little potted summary of Hephaistion and among the things Curtius tells us is that Hephaistion and Alexander were around the same age and had been educated together. Diogenes Laertius (5.27) indirectly backs this up by citing a book (e.g., collection) of letters that Aristotle exchanged with Hephaistion. While he also wrote letters (4 books’ worth!) to Alexander, as well as a book of letters to Antipatros and to Olympias, none of Alexander’s other age-mates got letters from Aristotle. Sure, it’s possible Aristotle wrote Hephaistion because of his close association with the king, who Aristotle was hoping to influence (Demosthenes contacted Hephaistion for, apparently, that very reason). I prefer Occam’s razor: Aristotle wrote Hephaistion as a former student. Yes, also as an advisor of the king, but it carried more weight if Hephaistion had also been at Mieza with Alexander.

So, I do believe they knew each other at least as teens, c. 12/13/14. Keep in mind—as I’ve said elsewhere—the word used by Curtius indicates that Alexander and Hephaistion were what we might call “coevals.” They were not (necessarily) exactly the same age. I’d say ±3 years either way. So Hephaistion might have been slightly older, or slightly younger. In the novels, I made him about 2.5 years older, but that served my own thematic purposes.

Also, while in the novels I had them meet in early teens, it’s also possible that Hephaistion arrived in Pella much earlier. As I argue in my article “Becoming Macedonian,” if his father was indeed the “Amyntor” on a curse tablet from Pydna, then Hephaistion may have been brought to Pella shortly after Philip’s successful retaking of Pydna in 356/57. That’s Alexander’s birth year (356). So, if Hephaistion was either a hostage for his father’s good behavior or was brought to Pella as a reward for Amyntor taking Philip’s side during the conflict, he and Alexander may quite literally have grown up together, from toddler-hood on. (This might also be an argument for Hephaistion being slightly older than Alexander.) Using sons as hostages (or as a reward) was fairly common.

There’s a (quite) late story of the two as boys out sailing, but I dismiss that as later embellishment.

I've answered this across a couple prior posts, so will point to those. Two are short, one is longer, but all together, should get at the answer. :-)

Hephaistion's potential wives or children

Hephaistion and Alexander as parents

What happened to Hephaistion's possessions (includes why there probably weren't any children)

From the question, I assume the asker has already read those linked below, but just in case not....

"10 Things Alexandros & Hephaistion have in common and 7 Things they don’t."

"Ten Things about Alexandros as a Child"

"What the Boys Find Annoying about Each Other"

"Five Things Hephaistion Likes That Baffles Alexandros"

I realized I never did the equivalent of number 2 for Hephaistion, so....

TEN THINGS ABOUT HEPHAISTION AS A CHILD

* Hephaistion is actually Amyntor and Berenike’s fifth child. Berenike had a son between Agathon and Hephaistion who lived only a day—a “blue baby.” She fell into deep depression after, which worried Amyntor, afraid she might commit suicide. It’s not something the family talked about later, but Hephaistion heard about it from his older siblings and it colored his concern for his mother.

* When Hephaistion was born, both his parents and older siblings were quite solicitous of him. He was rarely left alone, his smallest peep attended to. Because all his siblings in addition to his parents took turns caring for him, he was closer to his older brothers than most children with such a gap in age.

* Also because of this attention, he said little before he was four years old. He knew how to talk, and sometimes talked to himself, but all his siblings were adept at understanding his gestures and expressions, and even anticipating his wants. This is the genesis of “shut-mouthed Hephaistion.” He still gets just a bit perturbed (even though he knows it irrational) when Alexandros or others can’t read his mind.

* Hephaistion spent hours outside simply exploring nature. His brothers enjoyed sport with the other Europos town boys, but Hephaistion preferred time to himself, watching the horses, or birds, or catching tadpoles in buckets, which he’d then observe change into toads. He kept pails full of minnows, too, and once, a small catfish. He feels an affinity for water creatures. (This is one reason he didn’t know Seleukos well before coming to Pella, even though they were from the same town. He played mostly by himself.)

* Wanting to observe birds close-up, he made a bird-catcher with a crate, one edge propped on a forked stick, string tied to it, bread crumbs leading underneath. He’d then patiently wait for a hungry bird to fall for the trap, jerking the string to drop the crate and capture it. Hurrying over, he’d observe what he couldn’t see from a distance, before releasing it again. His father expressed surprise the birds fell for it, his siblings that he could sit still for so long. Yet sitting still and observing was never Hephaistion’s problem.

* Hephaistion learned about masturbation after catching his brother, Demetrios, at it in the barn. He was well familiar with sex by then, like any farm boy, and he’d observed the stallions slap their penises against their bellies for pleasure, as his father explained. But at only nine, he didn’t quite understand the incentive. Finding Demetrios doing it, he’d stood quietly watching until his brother finished and caught him—then yelled at him for being a sneak. Hephaistion hadn’t understood until later why Demetrios might have resented being watched.

* Unlike many Greeks, Hephaistion is fond of cats. He loves dogs for how attentive they are, and how he can train them. And he adores horses. But he likes cats for their quiet nature. Growing up, he befriended several barn cats who’d follow him around when he was down there, and one little calico female often trailed him back to the house, even sleeping in his room between his feet. She had a few litters under his bed, which his parents made him remove to the barn once their eyes were open. She disappeared one autumn and Hephaistion never learned what happened to her, probably dinner for a fox or hungry hawk.

* The fondness for quiet also lies behind his love of fishing. It was something his father taught all his children, even Alis, although Hephaistion and Agathon had taken it up with the most enthusiasm. One of Hephaistion’s favorite things was to be allowed to trail Agathon and his friend Ptolemaios to one of the pasture ponds or the Axios River to fish. He’d sit beside them and listen to them talk about war, girls, and court life in the Pages, then later, the Hypaspists.

* Hephaistion’s hatred for his maternal cousins began young when he’d come upon the elder two taunting an injured squirrel—injured by them. Enraged, he’d run at them although only seven, screaming and fists flying. They’d subdued him easily, then made him watch while they finished killing the squirrel. It was a quiet trauma Hephaistion never told anyone except Agathon, ashamed to have been so ineffectual. After that, Agathon began teaching him how to defend himself, but Hephaistion didn’t really care that much about martial skills—one reason he arrived so inept at Pella. He’d rather be off working the horses, or climbing a tree to bird watch, or fishing. Such activities interested him more.

* Hephaistion is very fond of music and has dabbled with various instruments. His father hired a lyre instructor for all his sons, as playing a few songs on the lyre was expected of well-born boys, but Hephaistion always showed more affinity for the double aulos—a reed instrument associated more with lower classes. Hephaistion didn’t care; he just liked the sound. It was with reluctance that Amyntor finally broke down and hired a teacher for Hephaistion’s unusual instrument preference.

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I love Daddy Geralt.

Those three words (S2, Ep4) summarize parental desire.

Parents want the best for our kids, and if things aren't the best, we want to FIX it. (Well, the sane ones do.) Yet we'll probably screw up. We just hope we don't screw up so badly our kids get killed, OR we mess them up permanently. In return, we just want to know what our kids need our help with, so we're not flailing around in the dark. :-D

This was one of the things I tried to write into the character of Amyntor, in Dancing with the Lion. He's moderately good at the dad thing--but not perfect. The first novel opens with Hephaistion running away from home because he's mad at his father. Yet I think of him as being *able* to run because he knows, deep down, his father will love him no matter what. All kids deserve that sort of bedrock certainty. I used to tell my son when he acted out (at 6 or 16) that I didn't care if he was mad at me as long as he was safe and alive to be mad.

On a tangential note, historically and/or in your books, if both of them had survived to raise kids/heirs, do you see them as kinda co-parenting each other’s progeny?. I recall reading in one of your earlier posts that you expect Hephaistion taking kind of a kingmaker’s role if Alexander had died earlier but left heirs.

I’ll tackle the second first, as it’s an easy answer. Yes—but not only because of their importance to each other. Hephaistion would have been part of the palace, so his wife Drypetis would have remained in the harem with her sister Statiera. Ergo, from infancy, their children would have been raised together. When (Greek) boys reached 7, they left the women’s rooms, so any cousins would have been educated together, then no doubt entered the Pages as they reached early teens. As Alexandros and Hephaistion would each have been uncle to the other’s children, they’d have had authority over them in ways typical of Greek and Macedonian society. Notions of “co-parenting” were assumed to a much greater degree in their world.

As for the first question, would Hephaistion have been able to survive Alexandros’s death—I think he would, because he’d long been prepared for it.

Hephaistion is extremely strong, emotionally. He has fundamental resilience, thanks to his father (and brothers). In his teen years, he liked the idea of being mysterious and moody and melancholy…but he actually isn’t. He’s level-headed, discerning, and serious by nature—not the same thing. So, for instance, he self-harms once, but it doesn’t become his coping mechanism. He needed to go down that road far enough to know he doesn’t need it. By the end of Rise, he’s grown up enough to leave his teen angst behind. He’ll always have a jealous bone, though, primarily because loyalty is so fundamental to him.

He truly misses his father, but it was his father who prepared him to lose him. It’s what (good) parents do, and Amyntor doesn’t leave Hephaistion wondering if he was loved, or feeling unsure of himself. So, while he mourns his father, it’s “uncomplicated” mourning. The most complicated part is his anger at Alexandros, which he deliberately sets aside, It hasn’t gone away, something I addressed in the short little cut scene, “Family Rites.” The reason I did cut that scene is there would be no immediate follow-up book, so I didn’t want to leave that thread hanging. (It’ll come back, eventually.)

Drypetis would still have been in mourning for a year; standard practice.

As for Hephaistion as a father, we have absolutely no way to know. There’s not enough information about him, much less his family, if talking about the historical person.

I can speak to my fictional character, but I want to EMPHASIZE it’s the fictional Hephaistion.

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First, recall he had a very good father in Amyntor. Children learn what they live. And while it’s certainly possible for children badly parented to be better with their own children, that’s done with intention. Most abusers were themselves abused as kids, and most poor parents were themselves poorly parented. Recall that near the end of Rise, Alexandros admits to Amyntor that if he turns out to be a good father, it’s Amyntor he owes for learning how.

Hephaistion would know how to be a good father because he had one.

That said, he doesn’t really have the desire for children that his father did. Amyntor wanted, and loved, his big family. Hephaistion would be content with just a few offspring. He assumes he’ll have them because that’s what upper-class Hetairoi did: produce heirs. But unlike Amyntor, he lacks a desire to stay home to raise horses and children. In the cut scene “Family Rites” he admits as much. (Beware, that short bit has big spoilers for book 2.)

Also in the books, I’ve tried to make it clear that Alexandros actually likes children. So while I said I don’t know how the historical man would be as a dad, but probably “absent,” the fictional Alexandros has a more natural rapport with children. I still think he’d be pretty absent as a father, especially with young children, because he’s busy. But as it’s a character, not the historical man, I have a little more freedom to say, “He likes kids.” He can even be silly with them. (I have this mental image of Alexander, not unlike Barack Obama, getting down on kids’ levels to talk to them.)

After all, he sorta half-raised his two younger sisters, and Arrhidaios too.

Do I believe it? As I’m the historian who first advanced that theory, I reckon I do! LOL!

That said, I would now modify what I originally proposed in my dissertation, back in ‘98. In fact, I am working on the finishing touches to an article I hope to submit early this summer, probably to Karanos, titled, “Mapping Identity in Greece and Magna Graecia: The Case of Hephaistion.” [EDIT: Paper has now been published and is available.] It includes a cool digital mapping component that shows where various forms of Hephais- and Haphes-based names appear, and when. I’ve given this paper now in several venues, so while it’s not been published, the work is out there among my colleagues.

I’ve also found a little clue that might mark an origin for the family closer to home. I even included it (slyly) in Dancing with the Lion (Amyntor is stated to have been born in Pydna, note). A curse tablet from Pydna names an “Amyntor.” Given that name’s relative rarity in the north (compared to the Macedonian form: Amyntas), and three other names that appear on the tablet, that might be “our” Amytor. While Pydna’s foundations go back into the early Iron Age (at least) and may have acted as a port for Aigai, the original capital, it did contain a largish Attic/Athenian population. Another possible hometown for Amyntor would have been Amphipolis, an Athenian colony. Both Pydna and Amphipolis are closer to Macedonia than Athens.

In any case, the name “Hephaistion”–spelled THAT way*–is Attic-Ionic in form, not Doric, or Macedonian.

So I would adjust my youthful assertion to say, yes, his family might have been Athenian immigrants escaping the end of the Peloponnesian War (my initial theory), but they could just as well have been from one of the Ionic-Attic Greek cities in the north.

Yet those names–Hephaistion and Amyntor–are not Macedonian. That I still stand by.

So yeah, it was my theory in the first place. *grin*

Edited to add: regarding Demosthenes…that’s actually a bit more complicated. I’ll defer to my article when it comes out.

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*I emphasize the spelling because there is a Doric form of the name: Haphestion/Haphaistion, the former especially common in Boeotia, but it disappears by the 200s BCE. If Hephaistion had been Macedonian, his name would have take the DORIC form, not the Attic. And as for whether it’s just later writers Atticizing it…they don’t Atticize other Macedonian names, AND the inscription on the dedicatory stele to the “Hero Hephaistion” from Pella, now in the Thessaloniki museum, spells it with the eta and alpha-iota. E.g., the Ionic-Attic form.

Anonymous Question (via Tumblr): “So you emphasize Amyntor is ‘ugly’ in the first Dancing with the Lion novel, and sort of imply Hephaistion might not be his real son. Is there a reason for that? IS Hephaistion his son?” Amyntor is a loose, literary parallel for the philosopher, Sokrates. The ancient Greeks maintained a confluence of assumed ideal characteristics: wealth, birth, beauty, intelligence, bravery, and athletic ability. This defined the “hoi aristoi,” or “best men”—the aristocracy. To be honest, it’s not so different from modern America, and elsewhere in the West, which tends to elevate celebrity beauty. Yet the Greeks did recognize it as a cultural fiction. Sokrates, especially, blew it up. He was reputedly the “ugliest man in Athens,” but also the wisest, and had the biggest heartthrob in Athens chasing him: Alkibiades. And, of course, Alkibiades (Alcibiades) challenged the assumption from the opposite direction; he was a dick. In any case, Sokrates was enormously controversial in his own lifetime, which led to his execution by state order. Later, he was virtually deified in the works of Plato and Xenophon, et al. In the novels, Amyntor is a Sokrates figure. We have this unattractive man who’s nonetheless beloved by most who know him well (including his beautiful wife who gives her looks to her beautiful son). Yet in terms of politics and outside his family/circle, he's more controversial, in part because he speaks his mind. Hephaistion doesn’t care about looks precisely because of his family. He knows what true virtue is. He’s well aware he’s attractive, and isn’t falsely modest, but he measures his own worth by other criteria. Despite the very pretty cover on Becoming, Alexandros is not exceptionally good looking. Hephaistion even observes of him: “Only a flatterer would call him handsome.” But Hephaistion falls for him anyway because he knows the truth: looks aren’t virtue. He seeks virtue.

So as he comes to know Alexandros’s soul, he falls in love with the beautiful. It’s very Platonic (in the real sense). True virtue as beauty. Because he’s exceptionally attractive, but most of his family—who he loves dearly—are not, Hephaistion has a unique perspective. He sees past the surface, even while himself being a sort of ideal surface. For Hephaistion, his good looks are more handicap than help. I wanted to invert the notion of attractiveness as beneficial. That’s why I wrote Amyntor as “ugly.” Because, in all the ways that matter, he’s not ugly at all. And therein lies the irony, which Greek theatre would appreciate. And maybe Plato, too. (Ptolemy does note at one point, by the way, that Hephaistion resembles his brother Agathon, especially around the eyes.)