#amputee representation

My name is M. I was born without an arm, specifically below the elbow on my right arm. I'm a college student.

I find as an amputee, approaching and asking about other amputees is much more socially acceptable. It’s like a shared experience that people acknowledge and whatnot. It’s great seeing another amputee out and about!

My personal preference is that I don’t mind answering questions or giving insight on the amputee community. I know that this is not an idea shared by everyone and a lot of other amputees don’t like stares or questions.

I do just about everything with my left hand which means my left hand is at more risk of being overused. It’s a common thing amongst amputees, especially as they grow older. 

Some things I do to adapt is use my nub (term used to refer to the shortened limb - others, usually leg amputees, may call them stumps) and my knee and a pinch action when opening items or things people normally do with the thumb to hold this down. I do have an elbow so if I have any light bags I usually just hook it on my elbow and I can carry it without thinking about it too much. Heavier items may mean I can’t do this. I applaud using my left hand and right elbow.

I find adapting to things comes more naturally to me as I was born with my differences. I utilize a lot of other body parts to make up for a hand. I also sometimes use any walls or other surfaces to help.

For example, if I’m putting up my hair, I go against a wall and use the wall to help hold up my hair while my hand ties it into a ponytail. I have found that hair claw clips are really easy to use. I do ask my friends to help me or hold stuff occasionally and they are really nice about it!

Sometimes I have to get creative to adapt, like playing the guitar (I taped a guitar pick to my nub to strum).

I have similar adaptations for opening sodas or packaging, although sometimes I genuinely do struggle. Getting larger containers is usually tricky so I am used to asking others for help when I need it.

Since I was born an amputee, I found prosthetics difficult to use. I never liked wearing a prosthetic for an extended period of time because the effort outweighed the use. When I did wear one, it would often clonk against things because I’d forget it was there and my brain wasn’t used to calculating space or dodging with the added length. It would also be uncomfortable in casual settings, where I’d have to try to find a position that worked around the arm. 

No amputee wears their prosthetic all the time. They become uncomfortable and exhausting to use.

Advanced prosthetics such as bionic ones are much more costly as they are able to move around, at the price of having to be charged + the expense. A lot of more affordable ones are more stagnant; they usually only have a specific use. They can be made more versatile with removable attachments for various individual functions.

In general it is easier for me to adapt tasks using my body or my surroundings than with a prosthetic.

I think people are often shocked I can do pretty basic things like tie my shoe or cut paper. They're also surprised I can do more athletic things like cartwheels and handstands (which I can't do now but when I was younger I could). I can do elbow planks or one handed regular planks; although I can do a regular plank, I’m just really slanted. Pushups are more falling than the push up itself.

People also definitely do infantilize me sometimes. Sometimes I get ableism where they think I can do everything an abled person can, but sometimes I've had people think I can't do anything, even when I advocate for myself. It can be hard for people to realize they're being ableist.

So for those of you who don't know, Lord Milori is a character from Tinkerbell, he's the lord of the Winter Woods. This is him (he's the tall one, the shorter one is Dewey)

Milori is an amputee. He's missing around half of the top portion of his right wing. This is because he is a cold-weather fairy, and his wings are suited for the eternal cold of the Winter Woods so they get damaged by heat. Long story short, he went into the warmer seasons and the heat broke his wing. Because of this, Milori doesn't fly himself, instead either walking or using an owl to fly.

But why?

Pixie dust makes things fly, right? We see beings without wings fly- the Darlings, for example, and James Hook in a movie Milori makes a brief appearance in. We even see inanimate objects fly with just a bit of pixie dust. So why is Milori unable to fly?

Let's get into this.

To my knowledge, the interaction between fairy wings and pixie dust is as follows in the movies

Fairies cannot fly without pixie dust, even if they have two fully-intact wings. We see this several times, their wings just aren't powerful enough to let them do more than hop. The pixie dust is what gives them the ability to fly, they can't do it themselves.

Wings are also not required for flight. We see humans, who have no wings, fly with the help of pixie dust, and we even see inanimate objects fly if pixie dust is applied. However, when applied to things without wings, their manoeuvrability is significantly lacking compared to the fairies. They're way clumsier and can't manage the same hairpin turns fairies manage. More on this in a second

Fairies never apply the pixie dust to their bodies, unlike humans do. They always apply it to their wings and only their wings. Why?

Pixie dust is incredibly powerful. It only takes a couple handfuls from a fairy to let a human fly, and humans are billions of times heavier than fairies. If a fairy dumped a handful of dust on themselves, it would probably send them into the stratosphere. My theory? The wings allow fairies to use pixie dust in moderation so that they don't send themselves into orbit.

Beings without wings struggle to land when under the influence of pixie dust. Fairies do not. Humans also have no control over their takeoff once the dust is applied, while fairies do.

I think that the function of the fairy's wings is control and safety. Control in that they can control how high they go, how fast they go, and how they manoeuvre. Without their wings they wouldn't have that control. Which is where safety comes in, because having no control but using such a powerful flight agent would be extremely unsafe for them. There would be almost no margin for error without the wings, and considering how it would probably only take five specks applied to their bodies for them to fly, that would essentially mean there'd be no safe way for them to use pixie dust.

So next, let's talk about Milori's wings. Here's a picture

Number one, the difference in aerodynamics between his wings would be impossible to work around. He tries to fly with those wings and he is spinning and he is crashing, there is no amount of training that could avoid that. He would not be able to use his wings at all in flight.

But would he be able to fly with pixie dust?

Probably not.

He'd have to apply it to his body, not his wings, and again, extremely tiny margin for error there. He would also have to deal with a likely extreme difference in weight- yes, the wings are very thin, but he's what, four inches tall? At that size, even a nanogram of difference between his right side and his left is going to throw off his balance hard. To him, one side of his body is significantly heavier than the other. This would be a massive problem. Sure, maybe he could add some kind of weight to his right wing to even out the balance, but even then there are problems that would prevent him from flying. Pretend for a second that there's no problem with the pixie dust, that somehow the weight difference is an issue. Even with those factors removed, there's still the learning curve.

Flying isn't as easy as birds make it look, just ask a basejumper. Self-propelled flying requires hundreds of microadjustments for every single movement. One false note could mean death. And Milori would need to learn how to do that, how to shift his weight enough that he can turn but not so severely that he crashes, how to change altitude without wings to help guide him, how to avoid accidental things like tensing in just the wrong way because that could be catastrophic- he would essentially be relearning how to use his body completely manually. His reflexes aren't going to help him anymore. He would need to learn how to move in an extremely specific and deliberate way and that's an absolutely massive task. Maybe even impossible. He is not a bird, he is a fairy. But he would need to learn how to stop using his body like a fairy and to start using it like a bird. Not even a bird, because at least they have wings to aid in manoeuvrability. That is a task so big it boggles the mind, and that's without the factors that would make him learning to do that even harder, like the weight difference. And even if he somehow masters that, it's still never going to be safe because if he makes one mistake it could kill him. Sure, maybe he could do it. But why?

Because there's either that option or there's the owl option. With the owl option, the most complicated part of relearning how to use his body is removed- he no longer has to figure out something as delicate and complicated as flying, he just needs to get used to walking, running, and climbing. It's a difficult process, sure, but nowhere near as difficult as learning to fly without using his wings and it would be significantly safer. Which is why I think he doesn't fly. Because he looked at those two options and chose the owl because the owl was the more viable option by far. Maybe he tried the other one, maybe he didn't, but either way he chose the easier option, the one that was less dangerous to him and more likely to work. The owl.

(To draw a probably far-fetched comparison, imagine having most of one leg amputated, not having a prosthetic, and trying to learn how to get around by standing on a skateboard and shifting your weight to propel yourself. That's kind of like what him learning to fly using only pixie dust would be like. Possible, maybe, but incredibly hard to do and likely is not going to work. But the owl? The owl option is like having the same disability but learning how to get around using a wheelchair. Easier learning curve, less chance of something going horrifically wrong, and a higher chance of actually working.)