Aug 6, 2019
Well, I had my appointment today and I'm back on Lamictal and Adderall XR, along with the Lithium. So, the original trio is back in action.
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Well, I had my appointment today and I'm back on Lamictal and Adderall XR, along with the Lithium. So, the original trio is back in action.
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Taking 10mg Adderall IR surprisingly helps a lot. I'm guessing that's because I'm not on mood stabilizers anymore.
Taking 20mg in one day is, I think, maybe what made me start feeling close to suicidal last week (even though I still had Lithium? It probably wasn't still at a therapeutic level). I know taking XR without a mood stabilizer did that to me before.
Then again, it's only been like 4 hours, and it's gonna wear off soon, so I could still end up wanting to hurl myself in front of a train later.
I'm probably gonna have to give up Adderall completely no matter what anyway because last year's Zoloft weight gain gave me high blood pressure and now I'm dealing with an almost constant arrhythmia. Probably gonna need a whole new pill for that!
AWESOME.
You already know the fucking story about how my meds are doing right now (bad) but I'm feeling seriously fucked up and need to vent ok thanks
Why do I get so fucked up after I take my Adderall XR? I've taken it for years and it seems Lithium is fucking it up? I really need Adderall to function and just to fucking think properly. Now I get shaky and jittery and overwhelmed and irritable and my heart rate kinda speeds up. And that's happening right now on only 20mg.
It wasn't really doing this before, but it's hard to know what was doing what before, because of all the bullshit...
My mood was stable before I started getting the bad insomnia, but even during the insomnia my mood was stable. I was exhausted, but stable. My mood was shit for the ONE AND A HALF DAYS I took less Lamictal so I could finally fucking sleep after being up for 40+ goddamn hours. Mood went right back to normal once on regular medication dosages. Then I started getting WAY too many Lithium toxicity symptoms, so I dropped it to 600mg because I kinda didn't want to end up in the hospital or dead. Mood was stable for a while.
Then my mood got fucked up, which was either medication or hormone related (probably both) because I was about to get my second period within the last 2 weeks because Mirena's still fucking me up from beyond the grave, because my hormones aren't back to baseline yet, or whatever. Back to 900mg, was stable.
Still on 900mg, but very clearly no longer stable, and it's being exacerbated by my ex not wanting to be with me right now (and he might even start dating which tbh I'd rather be decapitated than have that happen) and by me moving next week.
I'm on a normal sleep schedule, though. That's genuinely fucking awesome. And it's not even because Lithium makes me drowsy (it doesn't anymore), it's just me getting tired at a regular time and waking up at a regular time. Wild.
But, obviously (probably), my Lithium dose getting fucked with is what's fucking me up.
My therapist knows about all of this, and I have a Skype appointment with the psych I'll be seeing when I get to Florida this Saturday. So that's something. At least he'll be easier to get a hold of, unlike SOME doctors!