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armin was dragged away by his frat brothers when you two made it down the stairs. his adrenaline was already pumping from being caught, mixed with alcohol and weed. he was in the moment.
they’d taken him to a chugging competition happening in the kitchen. they'd been trying to get every brother to join and armin wasn't an exception. he’d been put on the spot since he’d 'disappeared’ for a while. the crowd around him grew bigger as they watched him go up against a pledge.
as they started, the chants of ‘chug, chug, chug’ grew louder, causing armin to give it his all. the goal was to see who could finish 2 cups of floch’s jungle juice the quickest. the loser had to drink another 2. armin was already reaching his limit and didn’t want to spend the next morning sick, especially when he’d be with you.
as the cold liquid slid down his throat he held back coughs and gags at the taste. he was winning as the pledge seemed to be fighting back the urge to throw up, probably already having too much to drink. armin finished his last cup before crushing it on the kitchen counter.
the group around the two of them roared as they grabbed armin and shook him around. he was enjoying the praise. the pledge slowly realized there were 2 more cups in front of him being filled as armin was still being celebrated.
the drink seemed to be hitting armin a little faster now as he felt himself getting lighter and lighter by the second. he talked to some people as they stood around waiting for the drunk boy to finish his cups. in the midst of all the craziness, armin caught a glimpse of the trio he’d grown to see more often than he’d like.
he seemed to sober up for a second as he paused. he didn’t expect them to be here. he was surprised he hadn’t seen reiner earlier but the house was packed. he felt like the roles should’ve been reversed right now; he knew what he’d been doing all night, who he was pretending to be all night.
armin snapped out of it as he realized how his shift of energy would probably be noticed. he’d pushed the questions and feelings he had down, bringing out one of his ‘personas’. the people around him hadn't seemed to notice his lapse in character; they were too focused on getting more people to chug drinks.
armin faked checking his instagram as he quickly texted a special someone, “meet in bathroom, down the hall.” he shoved his phone into his pocket as he watched more victims be forced into the game.
as the crowd in the kitchen grew larger, as more people joined, he slipped away using the excuse of wanting to put a song on. he moved through the ocean of bodies as he headed for the bathroom instead.
walking down the hallway there were random couples kissing against the wall, getting too touchy for one's liking. others leaned, trying to steady themselves in their drunk state while fighting back the urge to throw up or fall asleep.
he slowly opened the door of the lit bathroom. she sat on the closed toilet so relaxed. armin could tell she’d already been drinking by the look she always got in her eyes when she did.
he closed and locked the door behind him as he leaned against it. he hadn’t thought this through. he was being irrational, especially with his intoxicated state, but it was too late. it was just them now. who knew when he’d get to be with her alone again?
he let out a mumbled, “didn't know you were coming.” he was someone else now. he stared at her shoes, not looking her in the eyes, too nervous to do so.
“didn’t ask.” she responded so smoothly. this meant nothing to her.
“ri- right, sorry.” he tripped over his words as he scanned her up and down. armin didn't dare look her in the eye; all he could do was bite his lip.
the muffled sound of low life by future was heard as a silence filled the cramped space. armin felt like he could hear the blood pumping in his veins. he wasn't sure if it was because of her or him not being able to come down from his prior activities.
annie’s voice cut the tension, “good party.” she took a second to really analyze armin now.
he meekly nodded his head, “yea-” it seemed unnatural. this wasn't him. he hadn't been himself the entire time. he was fronting as someone else yet again.
armin’s thought process had been cut off as annie got up and closed the space between them. her stride was smooth and quick as she pressed her lips on his. he could taste the alcohol on her breath, and so could she.
he was intoxicated from the lack of air as he traded kisses with her. he was picking up where you two had left off. he was left unsatisfied after being interrupted by jean. he couldn't help but melt into her touch, hoping to get that high he was chasing from before.
his back left the door as he leaned into annie more. his mind had gone almost completely blank since the moment he saw her. he had no plan but he knew deep inside what happens when they're alone. they both knew it; small talk was just a courtesy at this point. he plunged straight into the familiar waters that was her touch.
things seemed to pick up pace as annie's hand ran across his waist and near his belt. her other hand pulled him in deeper. armin’s hips thrusted forward as he felt himself drowning in her touch.
her hand palmed him over his jeans, teasing the length she felt growing up. he couldn't help but let his wants consume him. armin, in one swift motion, grabbed her by her thighs and lifted her to sit on the sink.
at the sudden change of position annie's back arched, causing her to move in closer. she wrapped her legs around his hips as they seemed to get drunk off each other. a few groans and gasps were let out between the two as things seemed to be leading up to a peak.
armin’s pants started to slowly unzip as annie let him attack her neck in kisses. his hands held her waist as he started unzipping hers as well. the bathroom seemed to be getting hotter by the second.
BANG BANG BANG!!
the two of them froze in their tracks. they turned their heads towards the door as a guy yelled from the other side, “yoo, open up, i need to take a leak!”
before he even finished, armin was already responding, “it's occupied.” his tone was firm but his voice didn't hold any anxiety at the thought of being caught.
that seemed to catch annie off guard. she turned her head to take a good look at who she was with right now. armin was usually a little on edge about sneaking around. he was never like that in general. his attitude was reminding her of someone she knew very well.
armin followed by letting out an annoyed groan. he was interrupted before, but being interrupted a second time? this was either a crazy coincidence or he had bad luck. he apparently can't catch a break tonight.
after the guy seemed to find another bathroom they fixed themselves. neither said a word as they knew the usual routine. annie took a little longer; she seemed thrown off. maybe the alcohol was getting to her but armin was starting to remind her of reiner.
she headed for the door, twisting the handle as she said something, “rei- armin.. i'll see you when i do.” and with that she was already slipping out the door and back to the party.
armin lingered in the bathroom a little longer as per usual. he took this as a chance for him to rinse his face, trying to keep his composure. did she also call him reiner?
he took in every second of what’s happened tonight. he looked back to how he's been acting in general. was the shift in his attitude due to being at a party hosted by his frat or something else? it couldn't be because of something else, right?
he didn’t want it to be true but he knew it was. even jean saw through him. you and annie saw through him as well. the look in your eyes when you were with him tonight was different; you were searching for something you only got when it was just you two alone. annie sensed it as well. she got to see both of the masks he tried to switch between. she saw him trying to see which one she ‘preferred’.
what was happening to him? why couldn’t he get a grip?
he dried off his face as he took one last look in the mirror. he tried to search for himself in his own reflection. he couldn't find what he was looking for, not in this state.
armin reached for the door handle, twisting it open. it felt like there was someone also twisting it as well. maybe that guy came back. he opened the door to be met with your face.
“oh my god-” he jumped back a little, spooked at your sudden appearance.
you seemed kind of thrown off but you laughed it off, “hello you.”
armin felt his heart drop for a second. if him and annie had kept at it in the bathroom you would've heard or even seen them. he silently thanked the universe for saving him from that situation.
you took in his slightly out-of-it appearance. maybe he was throwing up in the bathroom. he seemed to be reaching or already being at his limit. there was that same look on his face, the same you saw on 4th of july. you felt worried but you’d see him later. you could always ask in the morning when he was more sober.
armin seemed to come back as he let out an awkward laugh, “hi hi, sorry. you can go ahead.” he slid to the side of the bathroom. one of his hands found its way to your waist, leading you in. his eyes never looked at yours as his other hand scratched the nape of his neck.
all you could do was let out a small, “alright..” as you watched him shuffle down the hall. there it was again. that same 'switch’ that wasn’t the same guy you saw a while ago.
12:31 am
in the dining room they were playing cup pong. love me by lil wayne rang through the house as you decided to join in for the fun of it but ended up running into historia and ymir. they were from their summer long escape to the beach house. they waved you over when they spotted you. they were talking to ashley about what they did all summer.
historia changed her hair again. she had teal highlights mixed into the blonde with a black peekaboo under. that girl knew how to pick her looks and knew they would all look good.
their turn was up next and they asked you and ashley to join them. they were fiending to get a good game going and knew how competitive you all would get. people watching started trying to bet on the game and rile you all up.
historia and ymir stood at one end of the dinner table and you and ashley stood opposite. you were pretty good for now but you knew if you lost you’d be wasted beyond belief.
the couple across from you could tell the state you were in by the look in your eyes. they weren't sober either but they were slightly more sober than you. they had more of an upper hand but you two weren't gonna let that get in the way.
before the game started you pulled ashley closer to you. she looked at you before you leaned in towards her ear, “we better win or ima be fucked by the end of the night.”
she laughed you off slightly before winking at you, “don't worry you know i got this.” she acknowledged the fact that if they got a ball in you would be the one to drink all the cups. you accepted it but you didn't want to be counted indisposed for the later part of the game.
the game started and it was a back and forth. ymir and historia took turns drinking each time a ball made it into the cup. ashley seemed to be taking your ‘threat’ seriously as she tried her best to get as many balls into cups.
her efforts were nice but that didn’t stop your opponents' never faltering aim. there were a few misses every now and then but that seemed to make their aim get better.
the crowd forming around the table seemed to notice the increasing tension as white girl by shy glizzy seemed to be heightening the energy. there were people betting how many cups you had left before you threw up. with everything going on on the sidelines historia and ymir seemed to be getting distracted.
you and ashley took advantage of this as they started to miss shots more and more. ashley and you shot balls that made it into cups and got the two of them drunker by the minute.
in the end you and ashley won. you were a little drunker but it was alright. the two of you hugged and jumped around while shoving it in ymir and historia's faces. they couldn't be too salty as they found your overly dramatic celebration hilarious.
there was encouragement of a rematch but you couldn’t go through another game without probably leaving with ashley trying to keep you steady. the four of you made your way outside as you heard there was a keg. you couldn’t go to a frat party and not drink from the keg, it was almost like a rite of passage.
when you all got to the backyard you saw the keg and saw armin, eren, and guys from their chapter already surrounding it. they waved in your direction as the crowd grew louder and motioned you all over.
they were doing keg stands as they declared it was a 'tradition’. floch was coming down from being held up as he let out a scream, “lets fuckin goooo!” this seemed to rile everyone else up. they kept going on and on about how he set a record.
it was now armin and eren’s turn. eren went first as he made sure to tie back any hair that could get in his face. “yeager bomb,” was heard repeatedly chanted as he took his stance.
he got the nickname from his pledge days. one night he had the task of taking down a certain number of yeager meisters because of his last name. safe to say he didn’t disappoint as it turned into what he was known for.
he was flipped upside down as he started drinking from the keg. floch waved you guys closer and wrapped his arm around your waist. armin hadn't noticed your appearance, he was too immersed in the group.
“i told you i'd come back for you.” floch said over the crowd close to your face.
giving him a slight smirk you scoffed, “more like i came to you.” your eyes glanced towards armin. he was busy, he barely noticed more people joining the group. he seemed to be in ‘his’ element.
“hmmm, i dont think it makes much of a difference.” he playfully shrugged his shoulders as he egged on eren.
you jumped up and down next to floch joining along in the chant. armin perked up at the recognition of your voice. he searched and found you by floch's side. the way floch stared at you was so obvious. why was it so easy for others to show their real feelings towards you in the public eye but he seemed to cower at the thought.
he watched before looking away. this was his punishment. he’d be forced to watch as others got to enjoy your warmth while he only could accept it when you two weren't under any eyes.
as eren got down he wiped his mouth with a loud yell following behind. he got pats on the back as he headed to stand next to ashley before floch took him first. she laughed as some beer had escaped his mouth and left wet marks on the neck of his shirt.
armin was next. the group of boys hyped him up as they yelled out, “kent.” the name was developed as they thought armin lost his ‘nerdy’ look whenever he took off his glasses. it wasn't too far off. today he seemed to be someone else rather than the usual armin.
he got ready as they lifted him. you watched with excitement in your eyes. floch egged on armin telling him to, “just relax and swallow.” you elbowed him at the crude joke.
armin’s eyes flicked as he caught sight of the interaction. he went back to what he was doing. his eyes stayed focused on the keg as he made sure not to choke. his shirt lifted revealing his lower abdomen and showing it tensed up.
all you could do was watch as he kept drinking. he’d been there longer than eren. the boys got more hyped as they counted and it was nearing floch’s personal record. armin seemed to be trying to beat it.
he was trying to impress you or the guys in some way. the way floch was hanging all over you and the fact you were so relaxed about it made him slightly irritated. he needed to get one up on him twice in one night; beating the record and him being the one to take you home tonight.
his face turned red as he was reaching his limit. he only had to hold out a few more seconds before he had the new record. the crowd got louder as it seemed armin was going to get a new record and that he did.
when he got down he let out a loud burp while hitting a fist on his chest. everyone got wild at his lack of throwing up after all that. they surrounded him and kept chanting “kent” as armin stuck out his tongue.
he glanced over at you two only to be met with floch clapping at armin’s “achievement.” you jumped up and down next to him clapping as well. armin could tell you hadn't known that was a win in his books, you were just happy to be in the moment.
eren had reached armin with ashley in tow. he was worried at what armin was playing at. he wasn't the only one who knew how floch got around you. he wrapped his arm around his shoulders as he smiled and whispered to armin, “don’t puke.”
historia and ymir joined them as they greeted armin. everyone talked about them coming back. the two of them wanted to see the rest of the group on their way back into the house and people seemed to be spilling out. the house was full already but now it was overflowing as people were coming out the back to get away.
1:17 am
everyone somehow found their way to each other but soon parted as ymir, marco, and jean went to get drinks. they used this excuse knowing they all just didn't feel like dancing and wanted to get away from other people being on them.
that left you, ashley, connie, eren, armin, historia, and mikasa dancing. well trying to dance. it truly felt like people were on top of each other but that couldn't be helped. the lack of space was amplified as fm$ by new boys was playing. people started getting partners and yelling out the lyrics as flashes of cameras were turned on.
you and ashley danced on each other as others watched. eren and connie were dancing on the side as they both watched intently. you teased eren as you got behind ashley and smirked at him. your closeness made his eyes narrow at you, he knew what you were doing.
historia and sasha also got into it. they didn't care about others watching as they were both known for being good dancers. mikasa watched as she danced with armin. the two of them didn't really want to be in the middle of all that as everyone seemed to be grinding on someone.
armin watched the closeness between you and ashley. he kind of wished it was him as he hadn't gotten the chance at all to dance with you. eren glanced around and caught sight of armin. the entire night you two hadn't been close, either someone was with you or he was off somewhere.
towards the end of the song eren decided to be a ‘wing man.’ he cut in, taking ashley from you and telling you to go get another partner. ashley giggled at you two bickering and how “god forbid i dance a little with one of my girlfriends.”
mikasa had wandered off as well, wanting a drink and feeling slightly over-stimulated so that left armin alone. in the time that eren had left connie he had found some other girls to dance with. he was in a dream as he had them both dancing in front of him, entertaining him.
armin slowly approached you as you pouted your lips at eren dancing with ashley. he took your waist as bandz a make her dance by juicy j started playing and you went along with it. he gave eren a quick glance as he winked at him, thanking him.
the two of you danced as you took this chance to talk. you’d only seen each other when you first arrived and upstairs before getting separated. the thing that said was on your mind.
armin followed your moves as he watched you intently. you were unpredictable sometimes. it always kept him on his toes but he sometimes hated he didn't know what you were thinking. he’d seen floch on you the whole night and didn’t know if you’d actually stay at the party until it eventually got shut down.
your eyes watched him before you opened your mouth, “what were you doing in the bathroom?” it was an innocent question, there was no indication of you accusing him of anything.
he met your eyes before getting closer to your ear. his breath was warm against your skin as he let out a nervous laugh, “i was kinda throwing up my guts. the guys had me chugging alcohol and i got sick.. im pretty sure someone heard me and i got embarrassed.”
letting out an airy laugh, “so you got sick from alcohol and then when i see you again you're outside doing keg stands? you’re not real.” you hit his chest lightly at his ridiculousness. that explained why that guy heard things from the bathroom and why armin was so dazed after.
armin saw that you’d taken his excuse without question. you seemed to think he couldn't or wouldn't ever lie to you. he felt bad. how is it that you can take things with a grain of salt and not overthink? he wished he could learn your ways.
the two of you held eye contact while dancing. the sea of people seemed to fade as it was you two again. it took you both back to the night it started. the night that changed everything and it could've been for the worst but it didn't.
…
the party had shifted to outside, the house was almost bursting at its seams. at this point the party was at its peak; people were, in other words, tweaking. it was so loud you could barely hear your thoughts.
people joined in on keg stands and just wandered around the yard as they stayed away from the ledge of the pool. the talking went silent as the music was cut. some assumed it was the party being shut down but it was far from that.
a couple of people were standing on the roof of the house and were shouting about jumping into the pool. you tried to put names to faces as you recognized a few pledges, frat bros, and… marco and porco? nobody knew what they were doing up there but knowing marco he’d have to pull a stunt tonight. porco was just up to no good when he was out in public.
the people from below yelled, encouraging their risky behavior. all everyone could do was watch as some of the guys had second thoughts. porco took their hesitation as a sign for him to do something and he did. he took his shirt off before he ran off the roof and dove straight into the pool.
the people surrounding were silent as they waited for him to emerge and as soon as he did he let out a yell that made everyone join in as well. his stunt was a ripple effect as marco and the other guys followed.
jean watched while standing with pieck, colt, and the girl from before, “there he goes.” he let out a playful sigh as they watched porco and marco wrestle in the water.
before the music cut on floch made a final announcement, “if you wanna get wet, strip!! no shirt allowed in my pool!!” as soon as he finished the yard erupted with girls and guys peeling off their shirts as f**kin problems by asap rocky blasted.
people were jumping in and causing massive splashes of water. girls without shirts and some without bras were hanging off the ledge. guys enjoyed the view as they tried to show off their physiques.
you and a few of your friends had already started taking off your tops. approaching the ledge of the pool you contemplated if you should jump or just sit but that was short lived. historia and ymir both grabbed you and threw you in before you knew it. they jumped in after and the rest of the people around you did as well.
the chaos died down a little as people realized there were topless girls wandering around the house and yard. people mingled with each other and the rest stayed in the water splashing around or just having fun with randoms.
eren was spotted helping ashley float in the water as he had to fix his reputation of being a weak swimmer. they were on the other side of the pool watching pieck and porco try to see who could touch the bottom of the pool the fastest.
jean was sitting on some beach chairs with marco and colt. colt was dry while he handed towels to jean and marco to dry off. jean and colt were probably questioning how he got on the roof and who convinced him and porco to jump. they soon found out they both did it for the thrill of it.
sasha and mikasa decided to sit by the ledge as their feet dipped into the water. connie was shirtless as he brought drinks to all three of them. they were taking a moment to relax as they were probably half dead from the music and noise.
yelena, zeke, and onyakapon were spotted by the keg talking to floch. they were drinking as they laughed and joked about random stuff. they were all drying off from the pool water and slightly shivering at the cold beer and breeze.
you had no idea where historia and ymir were. they threw you in and you saw them not too long ago but they seemed to disappear. that wasn't too uncommon though, they probably ran off somewhere or left.
you had gotten tired of swimming as you sat on the ledge. your actions mimicked connie, mikasa, and sasha as you let your legs soak in the pool water while you just watched. as you people watched you saw armin swimming up to you.
he held onto the ledge next to you as he kept himself afloat in the water. he looked up at you after pushing his hair out of his face. the water made it fall in his face and made him temporarily blind.
he gave you a look as he stared into your eyes as he shyly asked, “you still coming tonight?”
you tilted your head at his tone, he seemed nervous in a way, “yea, why wouldn't i?” your leg kicked up water in his direction at the dumb question.
“i dont know.. making sure.” he turned away from the water as he let out a mumbled excuse.
“you know i’d never bail on you.” you once again kicked water at him at his, also, dumb excuse.
you giggled to yourself watching him fight the water but he retaliated. he pulled himself a little higher out of the water as he grabbed you by your arms. he pulled you back into the water causing you to let out a surprised yelp.
2:49 am, outside
you and armin had been sitting on the curb a block away from the party for a while now. the two of you waited close together for your ride to come. his arm was wrapped around your shoulders as you both watched the commotion in the streets. you held a cigarette you were smoking in your hand.
you both opted for an irish goodbye. it wasn’t that uncommon especially with a party that packed. the music and people could still be heard as the party spilled out into the streets. the police would surely soon show up. tonight was just the beginning of the school year to come.
the liquor and weed were wearing off but you both were pretty buzzed. he traced circles on your shoulder as mr. brightside by the killers echoed in the streets. your head fell on his shoulder as you watched the sky. the stars were barely visible with the bright street lights.
armin felt your breathing slow as you leaned on him. he shuffled to a more comfortable position for you before asking, “you falling asleep?”
you didn't respond as you took a hit, just shook your head lightly, “tonight was fun, im really happy right now.” his breath matched yours as you mimicked the circles he drew on your arms against his leg.
“it was fun, im sorry im taking you home so early.”
“i dont mind, im sorta happy to be leaving with you tonight.” you said it like it was nothing, there was no hesitation in your voice that showed you were nervous.
armin’s stomach did flips as he nodded his head. before he could add anything the car arrived. you put your almost finished cigarette out on the curb. he got up first, offering you his hand. you took it and got to your feet. the finished bud was thrown into a trash can nearby. neither of you let go as he opened the door and let you slide into the back seat first.
as the car took you, you rested your head against the glass window and watched the houses and trees pass you by. he sat on the other side watching the road through the windshield. both of your hands rested in the middle seat holding each other gently. you rolled down your window as a courtesy since you both didn't want to stink up the car.
his thumb traced shapes into your skin as he lowly hummed along to songs on the radio. he glanced over at you every now and then making sure you didn't look sick. the two of you had a scent of liquor, weed, and cigarettes mixed together.
armin was so different when he wasn’t around those people. you couldn't quite understand why he'd been acting different the whole night but all that mattered was he was his true self with you. that's all you cared about.
you took your eyes off the passing trees as you looked over at him. he watched the road ahead diligently as the shadows from passing lights shifted on his face. his hair was messy from the pool but it fit him so naturally. you could tell he’d had a long day from how low his eyes hung, or maybe that was a combination of weed and alcohol.
as you watched he caught you staring. his hand tightened slightly around yours as he tugged it a little, signaling you to come closer. his hand never left yours as you scooted into the middle and leaned against him once more.
you put one of your legs on his lap as you got comfortable. it was a bad habit you couldn't seem to get rid of. sometimes you figured it bothered people but some appreciated your physical display of trust.
armin’s other hand that remained empty went to your leg and held it in place. he wanted to be as close as possible. the closeness made your skin slightly sweat against each other but neither of you minded. your head rested against his shoulder as the both of you looked at one another.
your empty hand went to his face and he leaned into your touch. he closed his eyes as his face got closer to yours. you pecked the side of his mouth and followed it with a kiss on his jaw. he opened his eyes once your lips left his skin and stared at you with this look. the taste of cigarettes on your lips intoxicated him.
his eyes hung low and seemed to shine even in the dimness of the car back seat. he leaned in more causing some hair to fall in front of his eyes. you used your hand to push it back and hold onto the side of his neck. this time you deepened the kiss as you pulled him in.
your hand stayed on his neck as he pulled you more onto his lap. the kiss wasn’t like it was before, the two of you were more gentle. his hand got closer to your butt as he pulled you closer to him. armin let out low whimpers as your thumb ran up and down his adam's apple. the hum of his reaction caused it to vibrate under your touch.
the two of you were shifting closer to each other before the driver cleared his throat, “ahem, we’re here.” you both pulled apart at his voice. armin looked slightly embarrassed as he nodded his head and apologized to the man. as you and him stepped out of the car and said thank you once more the man gave a small smile before saying to stay safe.
armin’s arm wrapped around your waist as the two of you walked to the front door of his apartment building. the walk to his front door was quiet as it was late and people were asleep. he fumbled with his keys a little before finding the right one and opening the door.
he led you to his room and sat on his bed as you put your things in his dresser. you sat next to him before laying on your back. he copied your motions and laid next to you. the two of you faced each other as he kissed your neck softly. your hand buried itself in his hair as he reached for the bottom of your shirt.
he slid it off you as you laid in your bra and he went for your pants next. as he undid the buttons you took the opportunity to take his shirt off. the both of you sat up as he shimmied you out of your bottoms. he took in your body as he continued to press kisses on your burning skin.
your hands ran up and down his abs as both of you took your time. the tension was there but there was no hurry; it was just you two alone. he laid you back on the bed as he got on top. his touch was precise as he went lower and lower. he was holding onto finishing where you both left off.
10:23 am, armin's apartment
you woke up in armin's bed the next day. you were in one of his shirts with only your underwear. the light shone in through the blinds as you tossed around a little trying to adjust to the brightness. you could feel the warmth of his body radiating in the sheets next to you.
the birds chirping outside seemed to force your eyes open and come out from under the sheets. your back was facing him as you rolled onto your side to see if armin was awake yet. he came into view and was.
he was wearing his glasses as he read a book he had on his nightstand. his hair was a mess from bed head and he had no shirt. he saw you shift and watched you from his peripheral, “good morning, you're finally up.” you could still hear the morning rasp in his voice. he set his book down as he stretched in bed.
“how long have you been up?” you scooted closer to him as he rested his arms behind his head.
he wrapped one of his arms around you as you nestled into him, “like, uh, an hour? i don't know, i just stayed in bed.”
“ohh, i thought you’d be showering or something already. i know you have like a whole morning routine.”
“yeaaa, but i didn't want you to wake up to me gone from bed.”
you let out a yawn as you nodded your head. he’d waited just for you. the two of you stayed in bed for a while just talking before deciding to eat something. both of your heads were pounding and thirsty.
armin got out of bed as he headed for the kitchen to grab water bottles. you took this as a chance to fix his bed and clean up the clothes that were scattered on the floor from last night. he came back and tried to convince you he’d do it himself but you were almost done.
the two of you then headed to the bathroom to brush your teeth. armin had already had a toothbrush for you; all your friends had toothbrushes in each other's homes for sleepovers or whenever. the morning had been pretty decent with how wild floch's party was.
he asked what you wanted to eat and you didn't have a clue. all you knew was that neither of you felt like cooking so ordering was the solution. his phone was on the nightstand but it was dead so he called from your phone.
“do you think it's lowkey big to order wingstop for breakfast?” you questioned as you laid on the living room couch, arrested development played on the tv.
your legs were on armin’s lap as he laughed, “no it's like nutritious, protein and grains. this is actually healthy.”
“you're right, we deserve a nice, healthy, filling breakfast.”
the food was going to take a while to arrive so you decided to take a shower first. armin said he’d go after you since he was going to have to deal with texts and calls from guys at the frat. his disappearance would probably get him talked to but he didn't mind.
…
you had been in the shower for a while as armin went back to his room. he plugged his phone in and waited for it to charge up before he checked his notifications. after a while he started checking his messages and missed calls. his eyes landed on the name, “annie”. he had 1 missed call from her at 3:39 am.
he stood there thinking about why she’d call. she never called him anymore, she only ever texted now. he hesitated for a second but he clicked her name to return her call. it barely rang before it went straight to voicemail.
he opted to text her right after, “you called?”
her message came after, “i wanted to see you last night.” she never responded this quickly.
“sorry for not picking up.” armin sat on his bed as he watched her type. he eagerly waited for her to text back.
what followed was annie just thumbs upping his message and responding, “all chill.” that was the end of that conversation.
armin turned his phone off as he saw he hadn't gotten any verbal lashing from floch or eren yet. he thought about last night now that he was sober. he felt icky about how he was fronting the entire night. it was embarrassing to think that people witnessed him go from a typical frat bro to a wallflower. that wasn't him at all and he felt like everyone could tell, which made it worse.
he buried his hands in his face as he realized annie also almost called him reiner. that made him feel sick. he hated it but he knew that was someone he was trying to emulate. her face as she saw him ‘switch’ made him groan but what could he do. she came onto him as she saw him emulate these guys.
thinking about her and the call he thought about what could have unfolded last night. if they hadn't been interrupted in the bathroom, if he’d picked up her call, if he hadn’t asked you to come over. his head was pounding. he didn’t want to think about deciding between you or annie coming home with him last night. he didn't know what to think, he knew he couldn't decide.
he threw himself onto his bed as he tried to clear his mind. the decision still lingered in his brain alongside memories of last night. he laid there for a minute before you called from the bathroom, “armin! can i get a towel?”
he sat up before remembering you were here. you had spent the night. you were in his shower. he got to his feet before responding, “yea, i got it.”
“kk, the door's unlocked.”
he grabbed a spare towel from a small closet in the hallway before he stopped in front of the bathroom door. he could hear the water running. he opened the door and saw your figure through the curtain. he knew what your body looked like already but there was something about just a curtain being the thin barrier between you both that had an allure.
he gazed at you through the curtain for a little before he realized what he was in there for, “h-hey, i got your towel, i'll leave it here on the toilet.”
as he finished setting it down you poked your head out from behind the curtain. the both of you stared at each other as he had a flustered look on his face. armin looked down as he realized his face was heating up more, “sorry.”
you just giggled at his reaction, “dont be sorry.” you watched as he stood there looking at the floor, not knowing what to do.
“armin..” your voice sounded playful as he still didn’t look up, trying to be respectful.
“yea..”
“come here.” at your request he first hesitated before walking closer to the shower. he stood next to the sink and glanced at his face realizing his blush hadn’t settled.
“can you help me wash my back?” you watched his face as his mind processed your question.
armin pushed his hair behind his ears trying to focus, “are you sure you want me in here?” he was genuinely wondering.
“why wouldn't i? come in.”
at that he turned to take his clothes off. your head retreated back behind the curtain as he slowly took off his pants. you could hear the sound of his glasses being set down on the shelves behind the toilet.
he quietly entered through the same side your head was prior. he was shocked to be facing you face to face. it all made him nervous. you both stared at each other as he seemed to not know how to shower. you took initiative like it was natural and turned your back to him so he could help you as you asked.
he slowly rubbed soap down your skin as he hesitated to touch you in any way that could be considered inappropriate. you were squeamish from his touch that seemed to be tickling you. his touch became more relaxed as he realized you didn't mind.
the two of your bare bodies were so close. you and armin had seen each other before but only in the aspect of hooking up. this was something different. there were no touches leading into more, these were just touches of people who were comfortable and cared for each other. the closeness wrapped between you two felt warm and like a blanket.
the heat radiating off both of your bodies matched each other as you both showered like normal. you changed spots as you washed his hair for him. the two of you stared at one another as no words were exchanged. armin closed his eyes as he turned his back to you. he wanted to make it easier for you to do his hair.
as he relaxed a creeping sense of dread started to fill him. his mind still lingered on annie. he thought about the fact she never wanted or liked showering together. she always set boundaries of how close people could get to her. she really liked her space.
things were so different. why could she never let him in when they were in a relationship? you were so willing to show your emotions and display how you felt through actions. his eyes remained closed as he felt his eyes start to water.
things truly were different between you two versus him and annie. he hadn’t known someone could give him reassurance in such small ways. with her he could only gaslight himself into thinking he was being dramatic and shove his feelings deep down. armin went back to the question that was the root of it all; you or annie.
his eyes shed tears as he hated this. he hadn’t cried the entire time they've been broken up. he couldn't hide from the tsunami of emotions he forced to hide behind distractions. this wasn’t in his control right now and it made his throat grow sore.
he was so bare right now. his hair was being washed as he acknowledged and came to terms with everything. he didn't cry but this was the closest he's come. seeing people for who they were was his ultimate downfall right now. he wished for ignorance as he tried to grasp for some lingering feeling of bliss but that wasn't possible now.
Ambivalent is a descriptor often used to indicate one's personal feelings about certain actions which may be more complicated than just repulsed, averse, indifferent, or favorable. For example, someone may be romance-ambivalent, sex-ambivalent, rose-ambivalent, plato-ambivalent, etc.
Someone who is ambivalent may have mixed or dynamic feelings towards what they are ambivalent to. For example, someone who is sex-ambivalent may be repulsed by some sexual actions and favorable to other sexual actions, or their level of repulsion/favorability may be fluid or fluctuating. There are many other reasons why someone may identify with the ambivalent label over repulsed, averse, indifferent, or favorable, these are just a couple.
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