#ambessa

"I stopped being part of this family the moment you cast me out. Why ? Why did you do it ?"

- Mel

"She wanted to go back to that night she spent with Menelik and ask him where she fell short in his eyes. [...] Why was she not enough?"

- Ambessa

If she went back to them, they'd know she was weak. [...] They would reject her, all of them, Tora, Rictus, Ambessa. They would call her worthless, just like her parents had whenever she lost in the arena.

-Rell

Let's be crushed under the weight of parental expectations with mama :)

She spends the months after Zoya's death hiding from the truth.

She wonders if Menelik chose Ta'Fik as heir because he learned the truth of what happened that day.

Everyone knew that Ambessa prioritised the drakehound hunt over Zoya's life. Ambessa says as much at the beginning of the book.

Menelik knew what Ambessa did as well and he rewarded her for her ruthlessness.

I find it so interesting that Ambessa seems to think that there is a separate truth to it that probably has very little to do with what was done and more with what it meant.

What could Menelik have found out about Zoya's death that made him chose Ta'Fik as heir ?

That Ambessa wasn't as solid in her decision-making as she claimed to be? That she took a gamble with Zoya's life and was too cowardly to face the consequences of her actions?

Or did he find out how deeply selfish Ambessa had been in that moment?

Im the actual story Menelik choosing Ta'Fik probably has nothing to do with Zoya's death. I don't think Menelik ever questioned his own philosophy.

But Ambessa is questioning it. In those moments where she remembers Zoya's death and remembers a version of it where she isn't proud of her own actions, she is questioning what her grandfather taught her.

I just find it so tragic that even while doubting his lessons, she does not blame Menelik himself.

I've been thinking so much about Ambessa and Ta'Fik (and Zoya) lately

"Even now despite everything she could close her eyes and feel his hand in hers as they leapt into the sky together."