#amani

Walking into his bedroom had me almost giggling in anticipation.

“If you call me cute now, I’m going to just walk out. You’re warned.”

He stayed silent and froze when I appeared in front of him, in nothing but a towel. The way he had taunted me, I now returned. And a knowing smile grew on his face.

The towel was quickly dropped and as I walked around the bed to get to him, he stood.

Slowly, as if I could break any second, he took my hands and lifted them above my head, my shoulders flushed to the wall.

“Look at you. You are a work of art, Amani.” His voice was strained, his breath on my cheek.

Nothing could prepare me for being carried away, with gentleness and need intertwined so deeply, they felt like a cocktail made to make me explode.

To say he worshipped me was an understatement.

And when I got bossy once more, he didn’t resist. Didn’t question.

Only held me when I needed him to and, indeed, made sure to give more than he took.

Maybe it was the best day of his life. It’s definitely mine.

And the best night, too.

A chill went through me, the feeling like someone was watching me from behind strong.

And when I turned around, my mother’s face appeared. Ghostly, but without a doubt 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨.

“MOM?!” I gasped and threw myself onto her form, hugging her tight. “Mom!! You’re here! How?!”

“Oh honey bubs, I’ve missed you! Thanks to your… friend, I’m able to touch you, be a little more corporeal. How could I not come through today, here, of all places, when I felt you pulling to me?”

Her voice was strange, but I didn’t care. She was 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. With me. I buried my head in her neck.

“Call on me when you need taken home Amani.” I heard Zek whisper as he walked calmly away, gifting me alone time with my mom.

“Come on, let’s go sit. We’ve got lots to discuss.”

I couldn’t contradict her. Had never been able to anyway. So I followed her to a bench.

She sat me down and started brushing my hair with her fingers, like she used to when I was young.

“This place is beautiful, mom… Is this where you met my father?”

She hummed, a happy sound that sent a shot of nostalgia through my heart.

I missed her. Every day. So I listened without interrupting.

When she stopped, I knew it was time for goodbyes.

“Mom?” I got up to face her. “Why didn’t you stay? Why not fight to survive?”

She looked at our hands. “It was time, bubs. My job was to raise you and you’re all grown now. I knew you could stand on your own.”

She pulled me in for our last hug.

A few days later, by the pool, I tried not to cry as I explained everything to Myla.

“And she never knew?” My new friend asked, on the other hand of the phone.

“Never. It’s only after her death that she realised…”

“Wow. So what are you going to do about the djinn who wants you in his bed?”

“Myla.”

“Please, everything you’ve told me about him so far proves that fact.” She giggled.

I leaned onto the table, thinking about Zek. I wouldn’t lie, the idea did sound nice.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit risky?” I heard myself say. “Paige still hasn’t found anything that would nullify his contract.”

“If only you still had a wish left.” Myla breathed out.

Wait.

“𝐈 𝐝𝐨.”

“Really?!”

“Yes! Can I use it on him?”

“Of course!! Haven’t you read the stories? Wishes can do 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨!”

“Okay, I’ve got to go!”

“Go rub that djinni, girl!”

“Myla!” I choked on a laugh.

“I mean the laaaamp, or whatever!”

It took me mere seconds to hang up on her and run to his door. I was still marvelling at my ability to run when he opened the door. I crashed into him.

“I 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝 that you, Boolouakabouloozek, be completely and utterly freed of any and all magical or contractual bonds that have a hold on you.”

He stumbled back, surprise and something deeper making him take a step back. I didn’t let go of my hold on him, pushing him towards the closest wall, letting the door close behind us.

“It’s my last wish. I want you to be free, Zek.” I murmured.

And he stared at me. For so long.

Until, finally, he started moving again and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close and squeezing me tight.

I didn’t mind. It felt good to be his rock the way he’d been mine lately.

His heart was beating so fast, I could feel it underneath his button-up shirt. I waited.

Once his pulse slowed down, he let go of me.

“I was not expecting this when I opened the door Amani.”

“Did it work?”

“It did.”

My heart immediately felt so much lighter.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me this was a solution?!”

He backed me up to the door and I looked away, trying to stay mad at him.

Yet he put a thumb on my chin, lifting my face up to stare right into my eyes.

“Because your wishes shouldn’t be spent on me.” His voice was deep, sure. “I want to be the one keeping an eye on you, making 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 life better. I don’t need you to sacrifice anything for my benefit.”

He closed his eyes, hands reaching my cheeks, his touch so light compared to the tight embrace he’d just given me a minute before.

“I want to give, not take from you Amani.” He whispered.

“Well you know there is one thing you’ve taken…” I lifted 𝘩𝘪𝘴 head up with a finger. “Your usual attire?”

“Oh so you 𝘥𝘪𝘥 like the towel trick! Isn’t that cu-”

I put my palm on his smirk. “If you say the word cute, I swear!”

He pushed away: “Why am I not allowed to call you cute, Amani?”

His tone sent shivers through my body and I had an idea.

“Go to your bedroom, I’ll be there in a second.” I ordered.

I walked in direction to the bathroom, not giving him a moment to think about it or rebel against my bossy tone. But he caught up to me after only a couple of steps.

“Wait. There’s something I’ve been dying to do, but wouldn’t allow myself to even think about until I was free of the contract…”

“But now, there’s space for nothing else in my head.”

He slid a hand onto my waist, pulling me closer, so slowly it was almost hesitant.

“You want to kiss me.” I stated, seeing it in his eyes.

“I do.”

The slightest nod was all I needed to give him.

When our lips touched, it felt like a lifetime of butterflies exploded in my stomach. It was gentle and so full of intent.

It felt like he had, indeed, been thinking of exactly how he wanted this to go. And like I could just melt into it, forget about everything else. He had it handled.

His hands held me up as my knees threatened to buckle. Not because they were weak, anymore. No. Only because of the intensity of the wave of emotion that rushed through me as our lips parted.

“Today’s the best day of my life.” He breathed out, wonder in his voice.

I let myself inhale a couple of times before answering. “It’s about to get better. Go to the bedroom, Zek.”

He obeyed, this time. But once I found myself alone in his bathroom, stealing a towel, I couldn’t help but doubt. Was this too much? Or… well… too little?

Only about half an hour later, he walked me back to my flat. I didn’t even joke about how there was no chance of me throwing myself in front of a car within our closed off residence.

No, my focus was on my legs only. How they hadn’t started aching yet.

“Feel alright?” Zek’s voice was distant.

“Strangely, I do. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve felt this good? No pain. And I’ve gone up stairs, walked across the entire courtyard. This is so unusual…”

He tilted his head slightly, looking hesitant to ask his question: “How come you hadn’t used a wish to heal already?”

I looked down at my hands, shame spreading through me. Now that he knew, at least I could be honest.

“The pain felt like the kind of consequence I deserved for surviving when my mother didn’t. Some kind of punishment I had to endure until I died.”

His hand reached for me, turning me to face him.

“And you’d planned to die soon, hadn’t you, Amani?” His voice was frayed, so thin. Like a thin sheet of glass ready to shatter.

His palms found my face, our gazes locked.

A moment only for the truth to be spoken.

“Yes…” Admitting it felt wrong.

The reflexion of my own expression I saw in his face sent a shooting pain to my heart. When had I started caring about 𝘩𝘪𝘴 feelings so much?

Escaping his sad eyes, I wrapped my arms around him.

“Thank you for last night. For taking me into your world, just like I wanted.”

“In fact, thank you for always doing exactly what I asked.”

His fingers ran through my hair, sending shivers through me.

“I can never say no to you. Even when it means putting you in dangerous situations. But I think you wanted those.”

He put a little distance between us, knuckles grazing my cheek.

We both heard another truth in his words.

And in what felt a lot like a goodbye, he let me go. Started walking away.

No haze surrounding my sense anymore, I watched him as he left. Thought of the little help I had provided him. Maybe that was enough for him…

I’d have to make peace with it.

It’s without warning that he came to knock on my door a few days later, as dawn broke over DelSol.

“What’s going on?” I asked as he waved happily, looking dashing in the pink morning light.

“I know it’s early, but there’s somewhere I’d like to take you?”

“I have a work appointment in 2 hours.”

I’d been able to paint so much more since my arthritis going away. I was a real machine, inspiration in every corner.

“Come on, it won’t take long, it’s only on the other side of the world!” His smile was hard not to return. “I promise you won’t regret it!”

Maybe I couldn’t say no to him either.

So I let my hand settle into his as he offered it.

It took longer than usual, I thought, to be teleported.

Maybe because this was further away. Or maybe, because he still was being slowly snuffed out by that contract of his.

My eyelids lifted and my brain emptied. We were in my mother’s birthplace.

She’d told me so much about it over the years. I’d debated visiting after she’d passed but never been able to consider such a long flight with the aches it would create in my broken body.

But my body was healed. And there had been no flight.

Tears filled my eyes. Zek’s face fell.

“Amani. I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry. I thought you’d like this.”

I dropped my head in my hand, grounding myself through his fingers on my shoulder.

“It’s okay. I- Give me a second?” I could hear the sobs in my voice. He nodded. Waited until I’d managed to chase the blurriness out of my vision.

Only then did I look back up at him: “My mother’s from Tomarang. This is… special to me.”

He raised a hand to his heart.

“I know. I read it in your lineage records. The ones Paige has. I thought this would be a good idea. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“I’m not sad. Just touched.”

I locked eyes with him, before dropping my head again.

Why would he do this to me? All I wanted now was to use my last wish, here and there. Talk to my mother, one last time. Make sure she was okay. I settled my palms on Zek’s chest, ready to push him away for putting me in this position.

“Did you know?” I asked, my voice breaking.

“Know what?” He was so sincere. Always so truthful…

“That it would make me want to contact her? That it would be my last wish…”

He shook his head, looking sorry. And I melted into the embrace he offered.

“I didn’t know, Amani.”

His arms stayed around me for a while. Until he decided I shouldn’t hide anymore and walked me to a lantern he had gotten ready.

“I always dreamt of doing this here.” I murmured.

“Here?” he asked.

“My mom and I used to do it when we wanted to let go of bad feelings. A ritual of sorts?”

He held out the lantern, waiting for me to hold it with him. Tears in my eyes again, I glided my fingers onto the craft paper.

I couldn’t stop watching him as he observed the fire within the lantern.

The most genuine smile grew on my face.

Maybe I still had things to live for, after all. Seeing him experience things for the first time, appreciate them with such intense eagerness. Was this feeling worth staying?

We let it go together.

I felt defeat wash over me. After all, I would still have one wish after this. And this wasn’t the way I was supposed to go, anyway…

“Fine. I demand that you heal me” my voice was so faint at the end that I was sure he hadn’t heard me.

And yet, he brought a glowing hand to my chest.

Once done, he let out a long breath, his hand finally touching my plexus instead of hovering above it. His other hand slid into my hair, holding my head up as our foreheads touched.

His lips were close to mine as he said: “Thank you. I really didn’t want to die today.”

I raised a hand to his chin, surprised at the lack of pain in the movement.

“I would prefer if you didn’t.” My voice was so quiet. But I pushed through: “Are you still under Qiang’s orders? You seem like the opposite of cruel to me.”

He chuckled. “Let’s get you to bed. We can talk in the morning.”

And so he did, lay me down on the bed. Stayed close by until I’d fallen asleep.

His mattress was so comfortable, I could have slept for years. Or maybe it was the change within me that made everything so smooth and perfect.

The lack of ache. The stiffness, gone. It was delightful.

But I woke up in a jerk when I heard a door slam. There was no time to panic as I saw Zek walk back into the bedroom, two very happy and sleepy dogs in tow.

I curled up on myself.

He kneeled next to the bed.

“Everything okay?”

I nodded, ashamed of the lasting fear I’d held on to.

“Just a little cold.”

“Scootch over, I’m warm enough for two.” He ordered, and I gladly obeyed.

Maybe I could have gone back under the covers. But maybe I just didn’t want to be alone anymore.

His arms around me were reassuring. They felt… right.

I fell back asleep almost immediately.

The night was long. I enjoyed every bit of it.

Eventually, Zek had to have slipped the covers back onto my back, but I still woke up the next morning without them.

Typical. I always move way too much to keep a consistent position at night.

All I’d hoped was that Zek hadn’t been kicked.

The smell of something cooking was what convinced me to get out of bed.

I found him in a comfy t-shirt, making… 𝘸𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘴?

Pausing to observe him for a second, I remembered his explanation of the way his power worked. Disobeying a direct order would snuff his flame out. Was he in pain?

“This smells amazing” I smiled as he turned around to serve breakfast.

“How are you?” He asked, his brows furrowed in a way no one’s should be.

I gestured to my healed hand: “Great. No pain left, whatsoever. Not even the arthritis. I’m good as new.”

He dipped his head, looking only a little reassured.

“But, how are you?” I asked, part of me dreading a negative answer.

“Fine. My soul hasn’t been completely eaten away by the refusal to obey yet. And Paige confirmed she got the contract and is looking into nullifying it as we speak.”

I let my happiness show on my face, hoping he would, too.

He didn’t.

Instead, he asked the one thing I just couldn’t answer: “Amani. I need to know what you were saving your two last wishes for.”

I had to keep myself from actually shaking my head.

“I need a shower. A real one. Can I use your bathroom?” It was all I could do but run away.

“Sure, go ahead.”

As I walked away, his voice reached me, raw and full of emotion: “But I won’t let this go. If you’re going to ask me to kill you, I need to know.”

I looked back.

He deserved better. But I had wanted only three things the night I’d summoned him.