#amanda x reader

You weren’t an important member of crew, so no one noticed when you slunk off to your car. You lowered your sun visor in hopes to give you some shade and tilted your chair back. You draped your jacket over you like a blanket and jammed your eyes shut. Just a moment, just one single moment of sleep and you can make it through the day.

knock-knock

You opened your eyes with great effort to see Amanda bent beside your window. You roll it down and smile self-deprecatingly at her. You didn’t know her well. Your job didn’t require you to be in direct contact with her. But whenever you could chat with her, you really enjoyed her company. Now, though, you couldn't say you were happy to see her.

"Sorry, just trying to get some sleep," you said, hoarsely.

"I’m sorry to bother you. I was grabbing something from my car,” She pointed behind her to show the two of you were parked beside each other, “I just–why don’t you sleep on one of the couch’s inside."

“No,no," you were too proud to let the people you worked with see you nap on the clock.

Smosh had been a very welcoming job for you compared to the other nightmares you worked before it, but you still didn’t feel comfortable enough. Even Amanda seeing you made you deeply embarrassed, and you had always felt a comfort around her.

"You can say you feel sick and go home and rest," she offered.

"This is every day for me, Amanda," you chuckled, "but thank you, really.”

"Every day?" she reached through the window and patted your shoulder gently. Your eyelids grew slightly heavy at her touch, "that’s not good. You know, I have a tea recipe that will knock you out in no time.”

"I’ve tried tea, trust me. What is it, 'Sleepy Time'?"

‘Well this tea is a good three-quarters liquor.’

You snorted.

"Will you try it for me?"

You couldn’t stand to disappoint her, especially when the way to make her happiest was to let her help you.

Amanda pulled her long coat over her shoulders and buttoned it. She tucked her scarf into it and pulled her hair out from within its collar. She was talking about something you found hard to follow. Your head was growing cloudy with sleep. The two of you had fallen into this routine in the past few months. After she had helped you the first time, you had been mortified to stand at her doorstep asking for help again, but she had ushered you inside without a word. Now, the relief you felt far outweighed the shot to your pride that asking for help was.

If all went well, you would end the night passed out on her couch, one arm hanging over it, forgotten in your sleep spell.

It worked like hypnosis. The two of you followed an exact routine, each act was the swing of a pocket watch. Sometimes, by the first swing, sleep had already consumed you. Amanda would turn on one of her favorite movies—some times a pleasant and fantastical film about witches, other times a gripping thriller of a woman getting revenge. She would sit beside you on her decadent corduroy couch and wrap a heavy quilt blanket over your relaxed form. You’d relax on her side and she’d run her hands through your hair. Slowly and quietly, she would speak through the movie, talking about her thoughts on it, or even just about her day. The steady rise and fall of her body against yours was all you needed some nights. Before this, when you were on your own, you had tried all kinds of rain sounds and whale noises, none of which worked. But Amanda’s voice sent calm waves through your mind. You would never forget the time you drooled a bit on her shoulder and horridly awoke to wipe it off. She had laughed so suddenly she threw her head back and pulled you in closer, reassuring you it was fine.

Tonight, by the end of the movie, you weren’t any closer to falling asleep. Watching Double Jeopardy, a movie in which a woman kills her husband twice, you were still wide awake by the end of it. Amanda had told you she expected you would be, she just couldn’t help showing you one of her favorite movies.

“We could just hang out during the day, too, you know?” you joked as your stretched during the credits. If anything, you felt more awake.

“I don’t want you to get sick of me,” Amanda replied while she rubbed circles on your back.

“That’ll never happen, trust me. Plan B?”

If the movie didn’t work, the second pocket watch swing was a walk. You watched Amanda check her reflection in her mirror beside her front door. She turned back to you to check if you were ready to go. You had learned that it was best to wear you pajamas under you coat to achieve maximum sleep efficiency (which is a term Amanda joked you should get trademarked) so that all you had to do was pull off your boots, throw off your coat, and collapse on the couch if sleep came to you.

Once, tiredness had overtaken you so suddenly in the middle of the walk that you asked Amanda to leave you on one of the park benches along your path for a while. She obviously said no, but offered to carry you back to her home. You assumed she was joking and laughed it off. Luckily, the mental image of Amanda carrying you in her arms woke you right up.

You had grown accustomed to the path around Amanda’s house from the walks prior, but still enjoyed the tour she gave you. Because of the late hour, she kept her voice quiet. Her low whisper helped ferry you to sleep, but you also loved the passion in her voice as she talked about her little neighborhood with pride. After ten minutes, Amanda stopped walking to look out at the pond that shouldered the path from below a small hill. Her face turned to surprise, and she waved over to you. When you followed her gaze, you gasped quietly.

“I think we interrupted a duck HOA meeting,” you said, watching the oddly busy pond given how late it was.

“Ah, or a secret duck rendezvous,” Amanda offered.

“Or a duckling soccer game. Look at all the babies!”

Ducks bobbed about the pond, many accompanied by their fuzzy little ducklings trying to keep up behind them. They swirled in slow patterns, ruffling their wings and dipping their heads in the water.

“Maybe if we’re quiet we can see them closer,” you whispered.

“Be careful there’s—”

You made a move off the trail. Amanda tried to pull you back but it was too late, you splashed into a deep mud puddle that was invisible in the darkness. You winced, pulling your shoe out slowly. You turned to check Amanda and was thankful to see she hadn’t been caught in the crossfire before looking down and seeing the damage on your clothes. Both of the legs of your pajama paints were splattered by polka dots of mud. You felt the cold wet seep into your socks and shook your feet in a futile attempts to shake the chill that had soaked into you.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up,” Amanda said while trying and failing to hide a laugh.

“The worst part is,” you groaned as the two of you made your way back to Amanda’s house, the squelching of your shoes obnoxiously loud in the quiet night, “I’m wide awake again.”

“We should add a hot shower to the sleeping regimen,” your voice was muffled as you dried your hair clumsily with a towel.

“I would have ran you a nice bath, but you had some serious scrubbing you needed to do,” Amanda was busying herself in her kitchen pulling two glasses from her cabinet.

You could only imagine the luxurious bath Amanda was sure to arrange. Flower petals and milky bubble bath, it would be heaven. Your eyes drifted shut at the thought. The shower you had was wonderful, too. It felt so strange to be in such an intimate place of another person, using her fragrant body wash and soft washcloths.

You always brought your own pajamas to Amanda’s house. It was usually a pair of pajama pants with some cartoon animal on them you had found on sale and the same t-shirt with the logo of a baseball team on it you had never even seen play (but man, was it soft). After the mud disaster, Amanda had gone into her bedroom and picked out a pajama set she thought would fit you best. The set was so delicate, with little buttons on the shirt and sewn cuffs on the sleeves and pant legs. Amanda had put them in her dryer to warm them up while you showered and she slipped in the bathroom to place them folded by the sink. Putting them on felt like an embrace. You weren’t sure you could sleep in anything less, now.

You sat in one of Amanda’s dining chairs and folded the wet towel behind you. For better or worse, you were still awake. It was time for the third pocket watch swing.

Amanda sat down a glass in front of you.

“Way less alcohol in this one than usual. I’m trying something new.”

“I’m sure my liver is thankful,” you lifted your glass to get a better look.

Your nightcap at Amanda’s house was usually a swig of something strong. It did the job as the final one-two punch to put you asleep. This, though, looked much different. The color was still dark, but more berry-like in hue. There was a squeezed lemon slice and a stout stick of cinnamon floating in it. As you swirled the glass, you saw what looked like spice along the bottom.

“It’s my spin on a Hot Toddy,” Amanda sat in the chair in front of you and took a slow, cautious sip. Her mouth bloomed into a satisfied smile, “Not too bad.”

“You could call it a ‘Hot Mandy’”, you joked and then immediately wanted to fall over and die. Amanda laughed and you hid your blushed face by taking a big drink from your glass.

It was delicious. It had a fruity flavor, but herbs and spices whirled through it. Underneath it all was the fierce burn of whiskey calmed by tongue-coating honey. More than anything, it was warm. Your shoulders sagged and your blinks slowed until your eyes were closed.

Despite the calm sensation it had draped over you, the light bulb of your brain was still on. You felt relaxed, but not ready to sleep. You opened your eyes to see Amanda still sitting in front of you, her head rested on her hand, one leg draped over the other. She was watching you curiously.

“What do you think?”

“Very good, but I think I need one last push,” you yawned, “to really fall asleep. Time for plan—what are we on—D? What more could we possibly do.”

“Funny you say that, I think I have one last idea.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. One that I’ve had since the beginning.”

You watched Amanda rise from her chair. She held out her hand to you and you accepted.

“I think the reason you aren’t sleeping,” Amanda said in a low voice, “is because you’re trying to do it on that couch. Maybe,” she led you by the hand into her bedroom, “you need somewhere nicer.”

“I couldn’t take your bed from you, Amanda,” you turned to her, “I could never do that.”

“Who says I’ll be going anywhere else,” she ran her hand along your shoulder.

“Well,” you smiled, “In that case...”

That night, instead of sleeping on the couch, Amanda joined you under the smooth covers of her bed and wrapped you in her arms. She enveloped you in every way. Her body was so warm and the the gentle air of her breaths on the shell of your ear were soft as moonlight. It worked instantly. Your brain had been pushing sleep away and Amanda let it in for you. She was a guide, deciding what was best for your mind.

As the night went on and you two entered into the pillowy rhythm of sleep and shifted around, you found you slept just as well with her in your arms as you had with her around you. Holding someone so precious to you, not only because of the help she so happily gave, but for how much tenderness you truly did hold for her.

I tried to write something 2k words or less, which is agony for someone like me: a chronic rambler.

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shourtney

gravityfalls bill cipher-courtney : ford-shayne : mcgucket-reader, peter pan tinkerbell-courtney : peterpan-shayne : captain hook-reader, corpse bride victor-courtney : victoria-shayne : emily-reader, scream sidney-court : billy-shayne : stu-reader, deathnote misa-courtney : light-shayne : L-reader, scott pilgrim vs the world wallace-courtney : scott-shayne : ramona-reader

spencer

resident evil heisenberg-spencer : donna-reader, wolfstar sirius-spencer : remus-reader, cake and fiona prince bubblegum-spencer : marshal lee-reader, night at the museum jedediah-spencer : octavious-reader, revenge of the sith anakin-spencer : padme-reader, family guy peter-spencer : lois-reader, super mario bowser-spencer : luigi-reader

amanda

sesame street bert-amanda : ernie-reader, death becomes her madeline-amanda : helen-reader, wednesday weems-amanda : morticia-reader, nightmare before christmas sally-amanda : jack-reader, flinstones wilma-amanda : fred-reader, fnaf chica-amanda : bonnie-reader

angela

heathers veronica-angela : jd-reader, but i'm a cheerleader grahm-angela : megan-reader, she's all that laney-angela : zack-reader, wicked elphaba-angela : glinda-reader, wednesday pugsley-angela : eugene-reader, lady & the tramp the tramp-angela : lady-reader

damien

hxh chrolo-damien : paku-reader, arcane jayce-damien : victor-reader, midsommar pelle-damien : dani-reader, silent hill pyramid head-damien : bubble head nurse-reader, tdlosk aren-damien : kaido-reader, coraline other father-damien : other mother-reader

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hope you enjoyed!

(in the comments, pick which couples costume from each section you like the most and i'll try to write individual oneshots for each member[+shourtney])

🎩 she isn’t the healthiest nor is she the nicest partner. Very much apathetic, but she tries for you. Whatever people (you included) tell her is “nice” is how she’ll want to act towards you.

🎩 for example, if she thinks you don’t look good in a certain outfit, she will tell you immediately. She thinks that since she’s being truthful then she’s being nice. Who wants to be lied to?

🎩 not someone you should vent to if you want someone to tell you you’re right, but she does give every helpful and honest feedback. If you’re being a jerk she will make it known. She is not a yes man.

🎩 huge flirt but in a very specific kinda sapphic way. Very serious until it reaches the “punchline” of the flirt where she compliments you. If she’s going through old photos of you she might tell you to smile so she can point out that you still have “the same pretty smile” or something like that.

🎩 it’s very unexpected and it’s very rare.

🎩 loves longer hair. She doesn’t like doing her hair because her scalp is tender, but if you allow then she’d never stop braiding yours. Whatever style you want she can do. Longer hair also means more hair to grab.

🎩 showers twice a day and brushes teeth after every meal, first thing in the morning, and before bed. She can’t stand when someone isn’t clean. If you’re depressed and can’t take care of yourself then she’ll do it for you. She will bush your teeth and wash you herself no matter how much of a fight you put up.

🎩 not the biggest fan of receiving in any way. She wants to initiate everything and wants to be the dominant figure in every situation. Especially if you’re larger and more intimidating than her, then she gets the biggest sense of pride possible.

🎩 her lips are really dry and cracked due to her constant chewing on her them. Kissing might be a little uncomfortable but she tries to make up for it by letting you kiss other parts of her. Even if you say you don’t mind, she insists that you deserve better than her blistered and bloodied lips—unless you’re into that.

🎩 very soft and flat body and very soft and flat breasts. She doesn’t usually like receiving much touch, but she will accept it occasionally. She doesn’t like to admit it but it feels nice knowing you want to feel her (and grope her breasts).

I’m a pervert sorry.

🎩 doesn’t leave situations she knows is bad. Things aren’t usually bad for her, but they might be for you or someone else. She knows how to flip something on its head and is not easy to manipulate by any means. She’ll certainly let you try though.

🎩 likes cheese, coffee and wine. Manor AU ahead, but she goes to the bar a lot and drinks with Antonio, Sangria, Richard, Joseph and Demi. She doesn’t choose to be with them specifically, but they’re always at the bar at the same time as her. She doesn’t really get drunk often, but when she does it’s not all that different. Also coffee keeps her from being 100% exhausted everyday—she has no clue it’s making her sleep even worse.

Saying that being with Amanda wasn't easy was a complete understatement.

At first, it was due to the drugs. No matter what you did to try and convince her to stop or get help, Mandy refused. Each time you expressed your dislike for Mandy's addiction or issues it resulted in an argument between you two, only being fixed when Amanda promised to do better. She never did. How could she? Addiction's a disease that neither of you knew how to help her beat.

It only got worse after Amanda was forced into a trap by Jigsaw, or John as she commonly called him. She had stopped taking her drugs, but with that came new destructive decisions. You didn't know much about what was going on with Amanda anymore, only knowing that she was coming home at strange hours of the night, and her body was growing more tired each week. Her body was coming back more and more scarred. Instead of the patches of smooth skin you used to caress, it was now jagged and rough. Whatever was going on with Amanda wasn't healthy, but once again, any concerns that you had brought up to your girlfriend were met with a mix of screaming and overly angry outbursts.

The longer it went on, the more you understood how unhealthy the relationship was - both before Jigsaw and after -, and the longer Amanda continued with this behavior, the more consistently you had these brief realizations. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to give it up. Obviously, Amanda wasn't fighting for your relationship, so why should you. This thought felt awful, but it was true. You needed to figure out where the relationship was going, or if there even was one at this point. If it wasn't worth saving, you needed to save yourself.

Then came the final straw. With everything going on in your relationship, you never really focused on anything else. Nothing seemed as important. That was, until you were watching the news one evening while Amanda slept in your shared bedroom. The reports on the number of killings that had been traced back to the absolute psycho that Amanda believed "helped" her flooded the screen. So many people had been killed, and as the reporters on the news mentioned the possibility that Jigsaw could have an accomplice, you felt yourself get sick. It was a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach; one you knew was connected to an idea you didn't even want to fathom. It was an idea that sat at the back of the subconscious mind, creeping farther forward with every argument. Amanda wasn't like that - right? Hell, how could she be? Why would she help the very man who had put her through the death of who she had been before. He may not have killed her physically, but you had seen the changes. You had watched her spirit die - had watched as she became someone new. How could you tell if she was capable of it, though? You hardly even knew "your Mandy" anymore.

Deciding you couldn't handle listening to it anymore, you grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. "Shit..." you sighed out.

You sat in the silent living room for a moment before finally getting up and making your way to the bedroom. Slowly and quietly opening the door, you entered the bedroom and filled the space on the bed that Amanda wasn't occupying. Soft fingers lightly moved Mandy's hair away from her face so you could get a good glance at her. As you looked over your girlfriend's face, you took notice of every feature, wrinkle, and the two scars protruding from the edges of her mouth - the scars you used to kiss to comfort Mandy after the test. Now, they were the scars that reminded you of what Mandy could be doing that was causing her to change. Whispering out a pitiful "I love you.", you turned around so your back was facing Amanda and laid your head on your pillow.

Tonight, you and Amanda would have peace. Tomorrow, long after this quiet moment was over, when she was again this new person who was quickly pulling away from the love you once shared, was for accusations and suspicions. It didn't matter if it was true or not anymore. You had to tell her.

-------------

When you woke up, you weren't surprised to find Amanda's form missing form bed. It was typically like this in the mornings, but when you noticed she was gone, the gross feeling in the pit of your stomach came back. It was a nagging feeling that this was going to be a common occurrence.

What if you were right? What if Amanda was working for...him?

To try and take your mind off of the thought, you decided to clean around your shared apartment. Cleaning up yours and Amanda's shared mess seemed to always help take your mind off of things. Maybe it was the satisfaction of the end product - or maybe, it was remembering the memories that came with that mess. You didn't really know, but you could confidently say that it always helped you stay calm.

The shared house wasn't terribly dirty, only having a handful of small messes in a few of the rooms, but cleaning the first heap of clutter took longer than expected. Because of this, it gave you a chance to truly blank and not focus on your girlfriend's possible covert actions.

When Amanda finally returned home, around 3/4th of their house had been deep cleaned or re-organized. The kitchen looked like it had been bleached, scrubbed, and then re-bleached for fun. The living room looked like it had when you two had first moved in. Curtains were thrown open. But you weren't in sight.

Amanda dropped her bag on the floor near the entrance before walking further into your apartment. "Babe?" she called out. There was no call back, just an uneasy silence. This was the last thing she needed right now - to worry over you. Her day had been shit to say the least. First, she had been partnered with Detective "Fuck-face", or Hoffman as he insisted she call him, just to have him fuck up their "retrieval" of the next player of John's game. Then, when she brought back the beat-up player, again - Hoffman's fault, John had given her so much crap about it. "We don't hurt them, Amanda!" he had angrily yelled. "He's here to get better. He can't get better if you let your emotions ruin his game!" The whole argument left her feeling restless and yearning for a release, so she spent the next half hour taking it out on her legs. She knew you had seen the scarring already, so what was the point of trying to hide her little habit. You were still here despite it all, so none of it mattered.

Getting more tired of whatever game you were playing, Amanda called out your name again. Her voice echoed in the tiny apartment, but this time it was answered. Your voice came from behind her, sitting in the corner of the living room, whereas she had now moved towards the hallway to your bedroom. "Where the hell were you?"

Amanda let out a heavy sigh. "Not this again. I've told you, I'm going out for-"

You cut her off, abruptly standing up, leg nudging the packed suitcase she had just taken notice of. "Where the hell were you, Amanda. No bullshit excuse. No "I'm allowed to go out by myself". No more fucking lies." you paused, breathing heavily. "Were you with him."

Amanda shifted. Her shoulders tensed. Her eyes looked away. You knew all her tells. "Who the fuck are you talking about? You're being paranoid - like what even is this?"

"I don't know, Amanda! That's why I'm asking! I swear to god, if you are working with him- I... Please. Please tell me you aren't. Not after what he did to you." your voice broke halfway through your yell, painfully turning your words into a plea. "They- The news said he's probably got an accomplice now. It can't be you. It just can't. But I don't know what to believe anymore. It's like you're not even fucking here - at least not the you I started this with." your hand shot out, pointing to her and then back at yourself.

"I don't know what the fuck you're on about," she sneered, "but I'm not having this conversation with you. Do you know how fucking insane you sound?"

"I'm not insane!" the screech that left your mouth made Amanda's angry expression drop. "This is not me insane!" again, your arms flew wildly, trying to express even an ounce of how you were feeling. Anything to make her listen - to keep her from brushing your concern off. "This is me mad. This is me worried. This is me breaking after watching the woman I love become someone I can't defend from my own fucking thoughts. Now I'll ask again, are you working for that goddamn, self-righteous, serial-killing freak?"

Her silence sat heavily through the room. The only thing louder than it was the ringing in your ears, and your deep breaths that were breaking through your chest. Amanda had heard that sound dozens of times before with John's players, but never from you. God, it sounded terrible from you.

"It's me or whatever fucked up relationship you have with him."

Amanda's breath stilled, eyes shooting up to meet yours. "You're bluffing. I haven't even said if your stupid little hypothesis about my free time is right. You're not fuckin leaving."

And just like that, you knew your answer.

"Get help. Once I've left, and you realize he's not good for you, or he gets you arrested, get some goddamn help." Amanda watched as you grabbed the suitcase from next to you. She didn't move as you walked past her towards the door, only letting out a harsh scoff when you wouldn't look at her as you did so. You stopped at the door, glancing back at her. "You can't want to be both. His Amanda and mine, I mean. It's pathetic, and you need to get serious help. But I won't be there to help you this time, not after all this bullshit."

The door closed behind you, leaving Amanda in what was now her apartment. Alone. She didn't run after you - didn't call you days later to change her mind. There was no bumping into her while out running errands at the stores you both loved. She was just gone. The next time you even saw a glimpse of her was almost six months later when her pictured was played along with the headline "Jigsaw and accomplice killed in poorly gone game". Images of her corpse flashed on the news, all praising the fact that she couldn't hurt any more people. Every new angle was a painful reminder of what you had lost.

You jolted awake for yet another horrifying nightmare, pajamas soaked in sweat as it clung to your skin body, yet your body was covered in goosebumps. Shivering as the horrible memories run through your head on a continuous loop. You couldn’t stop the sob from leaving your body as you remember the terrifying memories of that dreadful day. You're still able to feel his hand touching your body groping you. The smell of stale beer from his breath invades your nostril, the smell so strong you begin to gag, stumbling your way to the bathroom, making it then just in time for you to empty your stomach contents into the porcelain bowl. You laid there on the bathroom floor for what seemed like hours. Not having the energy to move at all, once the room stopped spinning you forced your limbs to move in the direction toward your bedroom. You had work in just a few short hours but given the state that you're in now work was not an option.

Grabbing your phone off the bedside table you shoot Liv a brief text asking for the day. No one at the precinct knows the true darkness of your past and you planned on keeping it that way. After receiving the confirmation that your request has been approved you turned your phone off and headed out to the living room grabbing the bottle you kept hidden under your sink for days like these. The harsh liquor burns your throat as you begin drinking it straight from the bottle, you knew it was wrong to be drinking so early but you needed this, you needed the pain to go away. The tv was on the news station talking about the latest update for the case. Telling everyone they could sleep a little better tonight now that this madman has been caught, but how wrong are they. You haven’t slept properly since this case landed in the hands of SVU.

You were startled awake by the clinging and clashing of dishes. You reach for your off duty gun kept in the end table. Stumbling on your unsteady feet, still quite drunk from this morning drinking binge you point your gun at the blurry figure standing in your kitchen

“Whoa y/n it’s me.”

“Manda?”

“Yes”

“Jesus Christ Amanda, are you trying to get shot? how did you even get inside my apartment?” She holds up her keys showing you the key you gave her in case of an emergency. You roll your eyes at her placing the gun down on the counter.

“You know that key is for emergencies.” you mumbled

“well if you hadn’t turned your phone off I wouldn’t have to use my key.” She replied

“Well maybe I turned my phone off because I didn’t want to bothered” you shot back

“I’m sorry. Okay I was worried when Liv said you requested the day. That’s not like you. I just wanted to make sure ya know you were okay in all”

Normally you would melt at her southern charm and the thought of someone actually caring to check up on but the alcohol and lack of sleep only lets you portray two emotions and that was anger and annoyance. “Yeah I requested the day to be by myself. Look Amanda I appreciate you coming here but honestly I would prefer if you just left me here with my good ole pal Jack” you responded holding up the nearly empty bottle.

“Y/N you know I can’t do that”

“Why not?”

“Well for one it's not even 9am and you are already drunk.”

“It’s five o'clock somewhere” you hold up the bottle in a pretend cheers, quickly taking another squig of the brown amber liquid. No longer able to feel the burn at this point. Amanda reaches to grab the bottle out of your hand, you pull away but the liquor has had it effect on you and you nearly lose balance. Luckily for Amanda is quick on her feet and catches you before you fall.

“Okay sweetheart, why don’t we have a seat somewhere”

“No, I'm fine. Just please leave” you whined pulling away from her

“You are far from fine”

“Jesus do you ever stop!”

“Stop. Stop what honey”

“This! Being here, pretending to care. Pretending that you know me when in fact you don’t know the first thing about me.”

“I do care! That's why I’m here! That's why when Liv asked-“

“Wait what?!?” You cut her off mid sentence.“You talked to Captain about me!?!” Your body filling with anger more and more as the conversation continues

“Yes. I am worried about you. Something about this last case really struck a nerve for you. You pretended like it didn't but I saw the look on your face.”

“Dammit Manda, what did you say to her?”

“The truth.”

“And what’s the truth? You don’t think I can do my job? You think I’m crazy!”

“No. I do not think you’re crazy!”

“Oh so you just think I’m incapable of doing my job. That because one case hit a little to close” You stopped yourself mid sentence not wanting to out yourself

“Too close, too close to what? Huh?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N what's going on? You just said that this case hit too close? Y/N did something happen?”

“No! No! Nothing happened except for you talking to Liv about my incompetence clearly”

“No honey, that’s not at all what I talk to Liv about and I know you are very well competent”

“Then tell me Manda, what did you say to Liv?

“I uh, I just told her I think it’s best if you take a week or two off. Honey, that last case was tough on you and I watched you struggle through it.

“I’m more than capable of doing my job just fine. I don’t need you speaking for me, if I needed more time I would have asked for it myself. You’re not my keeper”

“I know you are capable but when Liv asked me how you were doing and I gave her my honest answer (y/n). I told her that you were struggling a bit but you were strong enough to get through whatever was going on.”

“Oh great so Liv is sending you to spy on me now?”

“No. I came here on my own free will because I care about you (y/n)” she responds as she places a gentle hand on your arm. You immediately pull away from the caring touch as if it burned. You knew your reaction had hurt Amanda but you were spiraling. And the alcohol in your system was only making matters worse

“Don’t touch me!”

“Honey I know you’re upset and you have the right to be but”. You cut her off once again.

“Upset?!? Upset is not a word I use right now. I was upset when you entered my house without calling first. I was upset when you woke from the only sleep I have gotten in the last week. But right now I”m fucking pissed. You’ve crossed the line. I don’t need you. I didn’t ask for you to be here!”

“(Y/n) I’m sorry you feel that way and you’re right I did overstep but you gotta understand I was just trying to fix-

“Fix, fix what?!? Me! Well newsflash Rollins, I’m not broken, so stop trynna to fix me. Not everyone is like you and can hide their feelings every single moment of their life.”

“No that’s not what I meant and you know it! I get you’re pissed at the moment but twisting my word isn't fair and I know deep down l’m not one your truly mad at.”

“You don’t know nothing!”

“I know that pretending something didn't happen doesn’t make it go away”