#tbt I haven’t posted about this in a WHILE or honestly at all. At my smallest I was a size 8/10. Y’all, I liked saying I could wear single digit clothes. But the lifestyle I led as a size 8/10 in California got harder to keep up with once I moved back to NYC. I LIVED in the gym. You could check me there 5-7 days a week for at least 2hrs straight working out and then I’d go for a swim to relax. In truth even though I enjoyed saying I was a size 8, what I MISSED without a shadow of doubt was each curve which spoke to my womanhood and me as a woman of color. Bruh, they were missing. I thought losing weight was hard, but losing weight while trying to “maintain a figure” did not work for me. As a result, I intentionally started to put weight back on as not just figure but there were definitely times I looked ridiculously skinny. I settled into a comfortable size 12. I was small but I felt I looked like that of a Black Woman again while still being able to workout. Although, less, it still got done. This post if anything is more for me. We as people work so hard for goals and for some reason always find fault in ourselves even for the smallest things. And yes there are still days I question or give myself a physical goal. But it is comforting to be amongst a network of supporting people. And when I tell y’all high school students can I crash or boost your ego, it’s real. It’s human nature to question oneself but they fuel me each and everyday. #honesty #butdefhadasmoothiefordinner #comfortableinmyskin #alwaysforwardneverback https://www.instagram.com/p/B4BND4oBoq8/?igshid=1lqtm32n1jx5l
