#alpocalypse

“POLKAMON”

This decade didn’t start with an album, oh no! This decade started with one of the most obscure tracks of Al’s career, one only obscure because it has never been released on any of his albums—not even Medium Rarities. Appearing only on the soundtrack to the second Pokemon movie and playing during the credits, this is a unique song in that it is part polka medley, part parody, and part style parody all at once. You see, it is a polka in the style of the old PokeRap from the early seasons of the Pokemon anime; while not directly a parody, it’s close enough that it can easily be called a semi-parody. It’s actually a very fun polka, with Al listing Pokemon (Ditto gets listed twice, funnily enough) and claiming there’s still 127 more near the song’s end. Back then it’s just a humorous nod to his little numerical in joke, nowadays it might be the most dated line in any of his songs as we are well over a thousand Pokemon deep at this point. It’s genuinely a shame this song is so unknown, because it’s a really good one.

POODLE HAT

Al’s big return for the new millennium, this album was one I’ve loved since I was a child, so when I found out it was pretty poorly received back in the day I was confused. A lot of research and many years later, I now understand why… but I still really like this album.

The big issue with the production is the album did not get a single out after Eminem revoked permission for Al to do a music video for “Couch Potato,” and thus promotion was minimal. Apparently Marshall was worried that being parodied would make him be taken less seriously as a rapper and… HUH? The last album had a parody of a song that featured Biggie, and no one takes that guy less seriously. And all this coming from a guy who the very year after Poodle Hat came oit would be dropping some of the worst, most juvenile lyrics of his career in the song like “Just Lose It”… Come on, Em. He really makes it hard to defend him sometimes.

The album was met with pretty harsh reviews, and then while on tour Al’s parents both died from carbon monoxide poisoning. It’s like this album was nothing but a repeated kick in the groin for the poor guy, and while this review here can’t rewrite history I hope I can highlight that this album has a lot to appreciate even if I’ll be the first to admit this is at least a slight step down from Running with Scissors. But it really is slight; this has some of Al’s best original work on it, and the parodies are generally really solid as well.

“Couch Potato,” the aforementioned Eminem parody, starts the album off on the right foot. This is exactly what was missing from The TV Album to make it feel like a worthwhile compilation, and might very well be his “TV song” magnum opus. “Trash Day” is a fun little parody of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre,” and “eBay” is a slightly dated but extremely good Backstreet Boys parody, but I think the parody crown jewels of the album are “A Complicated Song” and “Ode to a Superhero.” The latter song is one of Al’s “sum up a recent movie via a parody of an older tunes” parodies, and gives a rundown of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man. I love that movie, so it wasn’t hard for this song to win me over. The former song, though, is one of the most beautifully absurd parodies Al has ever done.

Apparently Al had three ideas for songs: Constipation, incest, and decapitation. I guess one listen to Avril Lavigne later everything clicked, because he mashed everything up into one ludicrous story about a man who eats too much pizza and becomes fascinated, finds out his girlfriend is actually related to him, and then gets his head taken off because he stood on a roller coaster. It is a truly wild ride of a song, featuring pitch perfect black comedy, well-executed toilet humor, and some slightly raunchy material that wouldn’t have been out of place on Running with Scissors. This is definitely his best parody on the album… but it’s not the best song, because his originals are even more impressive.

Al’s black comedy comes out in full force for “Party at the Leper Colony,” a hurricane of body part and dismemberment puns that is in such hilariously bad taste that Al is a bit ashamed of it and has jokingly apologized before playing it. While maybe he did cross the line, I’d definitely argue he crossed it enough he circled back to making this into a pitch black riot. “Wanna B Ur Lovr” is a style parody of Beck’s Midnite Vultures era, and is a sleazy little jam filled with the most laughable pick up lines you’ve ever heard, but since it’s Al singing them his unfathomable rizz almost makes them work. I don’t necessarily think this needed to be six minutes long, but if he had this many goofy pick up lines crammed in him it’s best he got them all out at once before he exploded. “Bob” is another fun little song, though it’s also really incredibly simple: It’s a bunch of palindromes delivered in the style of Bob Dylan. Funnily this was the song Al threw a video together for after Eminem denied him, which wasn’t the worst idea but the video is not one of his best and certainly doesn’t make up for the loss of Al spoofing 8 Mile.

Of course, there are a few songs that stand head and shoulders above the others. My least favorite of the big three is “Genius in France,” Al’s style parody of Frank Zappa. Maybe it’s just that I’m not overly familiar with Zappa but I’ve just been never been able to get into this one despite acknowledging it is a technically impressive song. The intro guitar solo is from Zappa’s son Dweezil, the numerous stylistic shifts are impressive, the epic length is cool… I just don’t enjoy it. I’m guessing if you’re a fan of Zappa you’ll probably like it, but for me, it’s my least favorite long Al song.

The silver medalist is “Why Does This Always Happen to Me?” A style parody of Ben Folds, this is one of those rare songs where Al got parody assistance from the man himself as the piano in the song is courtesy of Mr. Folds, lending the track a level of authenticity and really elevating the callous black comedy of the lyrics to new heights. It feels like a spiritual successor to “Good Old Days,” only cranked up to 11 and with a lot more polish.

But the best track of all, the best track on the album, and arguably one of Al’s greatest songs of all time is “Hardware Store.” The song is a classic case of the “mundane made awesome” trope; a hardware store is opening in town, and Al is very excited. The hyperactive charisma of his vocals and the rapid-fire delivery all help make this great, but the moment that elevates this to a masterpiece is the awe-inspiring bridge where Al rattles off a massive list of everything the store stocks in a single breath with no pauses. This is no small list, mind you; there is a reason he’s never played this live. It really ties the whole song together and makes this a classic, one that was pretty popular in memes back in the day. It’s also one of the few Al songs I’ve ever seen spawn a parody, with someone making the Harry Potter themed “Dumbledore.” Whatever your thoughts are on that franchise these days, it is pretty cool anyone had the guts to parody this of all Al songs with that tricky bridge to navigate.

The passage of time has definitely been kind to this album. While in the moment a lot of the parodies here were a day late and a dollar short for their time, they are parodies of iconic songs by their respective artists meaning Al’s versions have a lot of staying power. And then there are the originals, which are all really clever in their own right, though as funny as I think “Party at the Leper Colony” is I don’t think he could get away with punching down like that in this day and age. This might be some of his best work, and it’s nice to know that even if it took a while people look at this one fondly nowadays.

Best Tracks:

1. “Hardware Store” – Up there with “Albuquerque” as one of his best original songs, the bridge alone is enough to get him into musical Valhalla.

2. “A Complicated Song” – An absolute rollercoaster of a song—just don’t stand up on it.

3. “Party at the Leper Colony” – I almost didn’t put this here because it’s just so dang mean, but as a dad and someone who loves stupid puns, this one kinda hits for me. Sorry.

STRAIGHT OUTTA LYNWOOD

After Poodle Hat, things weren’t going so well for Al. While working on the follow up, Al got permission to parody James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” as “You’re Pitiful,” a song about the lamest and most pathetic man to ever live. Unfortunately for Al, his dreams of making it the lead single were shattered when Atlantic Records revoked permission out of fear Blunt would become a one-hit wonder if his song was spoofed (guess what happened to him anyway). Al’s not one to give up, though, and instead he went with a parody that would become one of the greatest and most defining songs of his career, and which alone cements this album as an all-timer: “White and Nerdy.”

A parody of one-hit wonder Chamillionaire’s “Ridin’” all about the singer’s nerdy interests, it is incredibly easy to see how this took off and became one of Al’s most beloved songs. His rapping is far better than it has ever been, showing that the days of “I Can’t Watch This” are far in the past, and the music video is a delight that features such great moments as Al vandalizing the Atlantic Records Wikipedia page with a giant “YOU SUCK” and a brief appearance by Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele of all people. This deserves to be held up alongside “Eat It” and “Amish Paradise” as some of Al’s finest work.

Of course, this song does teeter the line that “Eat It” tripped over where it overshadowed the rest of the album, but I think the rest of the stuff here is solid enough that it manages to stay out of the shadow of “White and Nerdy.” “Canadian Idiot” is a just a hilarious twist of “American Idiot” that takes aim at Canadian stereotypes much like “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi” did for Jewish ones; “Do I Creep You Out” is a stalker anthem so good it completely eclipses the song it is mocking; “Confessions Pt. III” is an absolute riot as Al rattles off the most TMI confessions imaginable; and “Trapped in the Drive-Thru” does the impossible by taking a song that was already an absolute farce and manages to make it hilarious in a completely different way by ramping up the sheer relatable mundanity of the situation to comical levels. If “White and Nerdy” didn’t exist, “Trapped in the Drive-Thru” would easily be the best song on the album.

The originals aren’t too shabby either, and I genuinely love a lot of them. That being said, these songs are where the album really starts to feel dated, as they reference completely irrelevant or defunct things or are taking jabs at stuff that was later debunked. “Don’t Download This Song,” Al’s fantastic closing number for the album, namedrops a lot of defunct file sharing sites in the lyrics for instance. It doesn’t hurt the song much seeing as it is an incredibly relevant jab at moralizing over piracy as if it’s the most serious crime to download a song, but it’s worth noting. I think the more egregious issue is Al’s Rage Against the Machine pastiche “I’ll Sue Ya,” which sounds absolutely fantastic and is very funny but is also lampooning the frivolous lawsuit epidemic of the time… an “epidemic” that was eventually shown to be smear campaign propaganda meant to discredit customers screwed over by businesses. Think of that poor woman who got badly burned by McDonald’s coffee; that’s the kind of person Al is mocking, because that was the thing at the time. It does have a line that aged very well stating how he doesn’t even need a reason to sue Ben Affleck, because the fact he has yet to stop messing around and marry Matt Damon is frustrating enough that a lawsuit might just be necessary.

“Virus Alert” is one of my personal favorites, a fun little warning of how viruses will screw your life up, and amazingly nothing in it even approaches datedness save for a line about iPods. There is still a very real chance those viruses could legally change your name to “Reggie” and leave Twinkie wrappers everywhere, after all. “Weasel Stomping Day” might very well be some of Al’s most hilariously gruesome black comedy, as he spoofs 60s animated musical numbers to detail the titular holiday, complete with agonized weasel squishing noises and with a music video animated by the fine folks at Robot Chicken. And then there’s “Pancreas,” another pleasant little Beach Boys style parody, this time about everyone’s favorite organ.

And that’s it! That’s all the songs on the album! Nothing else for me to talk about, so why don’t we just—

...Ok. There is one more song I haven’t discussed, because it is genuinely hard to really talk about it. “Close But No Cigar” is Al’s pastiche of Cake’s style and, if I’m being honest, is one of the best songs on the album. It’s really good, it’s really funny, and it feels bad saying that because the music video is animated by none other than John Kricfalusi. To make matters worse one of his two victims, Katie Rice, has stated a lot of the abuse suffered at his hands came while she was working as a layout artist for this video’s production. This makes a lot of the perverted actions the cat protagonist of the video a lot more difficult to look at in an innocent light, and to be honest it does kind of put a dark shadow over the song.

That aside, though, this is a pretty stellar album with a lot of Al’s strongest work, though it also contains some of his most dated. It definitely was a nice moment of him getting back on his feet after all the hardships he went through, and hey, he only needed to do two more albums before he was free from the label!

Best Tracks:

1. “White and Nerdy” – One of Al’s very best songs, bar none.

2. “Close But No Cigar” – Look, John K. is a monster, but I can’t let that slimy little rat ruin a perfectly good Cake pastiche.

3. “Trapped in the Drive-Thru” – The sheer mundanity of the situation delivered in the style of the hilarious melodrama of the R. Kelly original help make this into one of the most memorable spoofs of Al’s career. A satire of a satire hasn’t been this good since the original Scary Movie.

Honorable Mention: “You’re Pitiful” – It’s not technically on the album so I can’t really justify putting it above the other tracks, but this really is a great parody that is the polar opposite of the original to a hilarious degree.

AL INTERVIEWS KEVIN FEDERLINE

So one thing Al used to do was he'd "interview" celebrities by filming himself "asking questions" and then editing in clips of actual interviews for the celeb's response, usually with the result of making them look like goobers. Most of the time it all seemed like it was in good fun, just some silly light ribbing... and then came Kevin Federline's interview.

There is actual, genuine contempt here. Al absolutely hates this guy. No other celebrity has been put in this much of a negative light in any of his interviews. But the best part is, this is all completely deserved. Especially now that we have the full scope of what Britney Spears suffered through, seeing Al rip apart her deadbeat loser ex like this is oh so satisfying. It's easily one of the funniest things Al has ever done, and definitely the most brutal.

ALPOCALYPSE

I did say after Bad Hair Day that Al didn’t release any more bad albums, and that is still true; this isn’t a bad album. However, this one just doesn’t feel quite as strong as his other releases in the 2000s and 2010s, and this kind of boils down to the final single released: “Perform This Way.”

A parody of “Born This Way,” it pokes fun at Lady Gaga for the same things everyone poked fun at her for: She’s weird, she dresses in crazy ways, she’s artsy, she’s riding Madonna’s coattails, etc. To Al’s credit, it’s a lot less mean and a more in good fun than a lot of other similar jokes of the time, but it just doesn’t feel nearly as fresh or fun as Al usually is and it kind of gave me a less positive view of the album before revisiting it for this.

However, while I still don’t think the album is his best work ever or anything, I think I came in overly jaded because this thing is packed with gems. I’d genuinely forgotten that, while “Perform This Way” is a weak but inoffensive parody, the other ones on the album are solid to great. His Taylor Swift parody, “TMZ,” is still a really good and scathing criticism of the celebrity-obsessed paparazzi culture we are still plagued by while also taking shots at the deranged behavior of celebs, while “Another Tattoo” is a somewhat disposable but still charming little parody (and if you listen very closely in the outro you can hear Al almost drop an F-bomb). There are two parodies that stand out the most, though. The first is “Whatever You Like,” his T.I. spoof that details the incredibly lame and stingy fun a man provides to his significant other; in this day and age where things are wicked expensive, it still resonates fairly well. And then the best of all is “Party in the CIA,” his Miley Cyrus parody that is essentially the theme song of Stan Smith, an incredibly fun party jam about assassinating dictators and destabilizing countries.

As is often the case in his late career, the originals are truly where it’s at. I think his boldest choice was to have multiple style parodies that riffed on classic rock acts, which helps give their dated topics some relevance; “Craigslist” is a pastiche of the Doors, “Ringtone” is a pastiche of Queen, and “Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me” is a pastiche of Jim Steinman. Out of all of them “Craigslist” is probably the best, but “Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me” has the most staying power in this day and age where your friends and grandma send you stupid AI generated videos of cats. Then there are his other style parodies, which target more contemporary acts, and honestly? They’re probably the best songs on the album.

The weakest is probably “CNR,” his White Stripes riff that delivers Chuck Norris facts about Charles Nelson Reilly. Of course, weakest is only relative to the other two—it’s still a really fun and silly song that turns the last guy you’d ever expect into a memetic badass. Truly what the Dirty Bubble deserved if you ask me. “If That Isn’t Love” is his riff on Hanson, and it is just a delightfully deranged love song that only the mind of Al could cook up. You genuinely get the sense this guy does not know what love is. And then, finally, we have the crown jewel of the album: His Weezer pastiche “Skipper Dan.” It tells the story of a failed actor who has been relegated to the soul-crushing task of telling the corny jokes on a jungle cruise ride, and it is one of the funniest and most terrifyingly real songs Al has ever put out.

I actually like this one a lot more now that I’ve revisited it. I don’t think it’s the best output he’s ever had, and it is genuinely saved mainly by the originals, but this is a shockingly solid album that I had criminally underrated. I really think it’s how tired “Perform This Way” feels that dragged it down in my memory.

Best Tracks:

1. “Skipper Dan” – A song that truly captures the misery of having big dreams that flop and relegate you to a life of mediocrity in the stranglehold of capitalism.

2. “If That Isn’t Love” – Mmm, this is a bop. A truly charming mediocre love song.

3. “Party in the CIA” – The only good thing to come out of the CIA existing (besides American Dad).

MANDATORY FUN

To date, this is Al’s last ever studio album. But boy, what an album to go out on! This is truly a culmination of his career, with everything he’s learned put to use to deliver one of the finest works of his career.

Almost every parody here is top tier. “Word Crimes” is the obvious stand out since it is leagues better than the song it’s parodying, taking Robin Thicke’s sleazy, unintentionally predatory “Blurred Lines” and turning it into an ode to Grammar Nazi tendencies. Then there’s “Foil,” a brilliant subversion as it tricks you into thinking that it’s yet another food-themed parody before going completely off the rails in the second verse. “Tacky” is a delightful anthem for those with poor taste, and “Handy” is essentially the perfected version of “The Plumbing Song.” “Now That’s What I Call Polka!” is a fantastic medley with excellent song selections and a fantastic ending… really, the only weak link in the parodies is “Inactive,” a spoof of Imagine Dragons’ “Radioactive,” and it’s more just underwhelming than awful.

The originals are fantastic, for the most part. “My Own Eyes” and “First World Problems” are absolutely fantastic pastiches of the Foo Fighters and Pixies, respectively, with Al really capturing their sounds well (though the presence of Amanda Palmer doing backing vocals on the latter can be a bit hard to stomach these days). “Mission Statement” and “Lame Claim to Fame” are pretty amusing in their own rights, and while I have never loved “Sports Song” it’s more because I’m not particularly invested in sports and so don’t care about their fight songs than it being bad or unfunny. The crown jewel, however, is “Jackson Park Express,” Al’s final epic-length song to date. It’s a nine minute long story of a man who misconstrues every single movement or gesture of a woman on the bus as some sort of romantic signal; it starts normal (or as normal as Al can get) before veering off into complete and utter insanity, and it is beautiful. Easily one of Al’s best originals.

If this is truly Al’s final album, it’s hard not to be satisfied. This is a fantastic culmination to his career, a truly solid set of songs that really showcases his growth over the years.

Best Tracks:

1. “Jackson Park Express” – An epic-length tale from the POV of a bus-riding lunatic, this is “Melanie” and “Do I Creep You Out” on steroids.

2. “Word Crimes” – One of the rare parodies infinitely better than the song it’s spoofing.

3. “Handy” – All the fun of listening to an Iggy Azalea song without having to listen to Iggy Azalea, this is what “The Plumbing Song” was but better.

MEDIUM RARITIES

As part of Al’s Squeeze Box, his box set release of all his albums, he tossed in as a little bonus a disc of rare songs not on his other albums. When this was announced, I was excited! Would this have unrecorded or unreleased songs? Did he finally get permission to record some of his concert-only tracks like “Chicken Pot Pie” or “Laundry Day?” The answer turned out to be no. This is mostly a collection of promotional songs and songs he did in guest spots on TV, which is cool and all, but I’m not gonna lie it did totally kill my interest in getting the box set.

That being said this is absolutely not a bad collection of songs here! If you love Al it’s a pretty interesting look into his creative process as there are demo versions for songs like “My Bologna” and “Yoda,” and there’s neat things like a Japanese version of “Jurassic Park” and the version of “The Night Santa Went Crazy” with the gorier ending. “Headline News” once again appears, and the theme song to the movie Spy Hard is finally on one of Al’s own CDs; we have his songs from Friendship is Magic, The Simpsons, Wander Over Yonder, and his guest spot on Epic Rap Battles of History here; the theme song for Milo Murphy’s Law is of course included; and we have Al’s cover of “Beat on the Brat.”

I think the single most interesting song here is “Pac-Man,” a rare song he recorded in 1981 as a parody of the Beatles “Taxman.” Unfortunately, it has been in limbo ever since Dr. Demento was hit with a cease-and-desist for playing it back in the day, but after Al got permission from Bandai Namco (who apparently had a good sense of humor about the song) and George Harrison’s estate, he finally got to put it on the album. It’s a very fun song that frankly would have enhanced whatever early album he put it on, and I’m glad it got to see the light of day.

There are a few omissions that bug me though. “You’re Pitiful” is probably the more understandable one, since Atlantic Records have already been established as wet blankets, but where the heck is “Polkamon?” He was able to get “Spy Hard” and “Pac-Man” but not that one? I don’t know, it just feels really weird not having that on yet having his ERB appearance.

My few issues aside, this is still a really solid collection of scattered Al tracks all combined in one place. I think if you’re an Al completionist this is definitely something you’ll want in your collection, but otherwise I do find it to be one of the most skippable of his albums—especially since it’s not technically part of the Al canon.

Best Tracks:

1. “Pac-Man” – Locked in limbo since 1981, this manages to still be fun even all this time later.

2. “Headline News” – Did you really think I was going to leave this off the top 3 when I finally get a chance to put it there?

3. “Beat on the Brat” – Al is a genuinely great cover artist; I’d frankly listen to a whole album of cover songs by him if they were all of this quality.

“THE HAMILTON POLKA” AND “POLKAMANIA!”

Al has released two medleys outside of the confines of an album. The first was “The Hamilton Polka,” a mashup of songs from the musical Hamilton (obviously). Released in 2018, I… actually have very little to say about it. Believe it or not, I have never seen Hamilton, so I have no particular attachment or context for any of these songs. It’s a good medley of course, but I just don’t really get it, y’know?

“Polkamania!” on the other hand I get completely. Released in 2024, Al was basically playing catch up and tossing in all the smash hits of the past decade to remind everyone he’s still got it. Notably, it is one of the very few polka medleys to receive an official video, and this is doubly notable because of some of the talent who worked on it. Vivienne “Vivziepop” Medrano, Bill Plympton, Liam Lynch, Victor Yerrid, and Cyriak are all among the contributors, but most impressively was the inclusion of Ryan Krzak. Krzak is quite famous for his fan-made animated music videos for “Albuquerque” and “Everything You Know is Wrong,” so him getting to be in an official Al video is one of the coolest bits of ascended fandom alongside that one girl who loved Allan being canonized in Smiling Friends. It’s easily one of the very best medleys of Al’s career, cemented by the fact he manages to make “Shake It Off” remotely listenable.

WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY

No musician has a complete career without a biopic, and in 2022 Al finally got his due with this incredible tell-all that finally reveals to all of us the shocking true story of Al Yankovic. From humble beginnings to being ripped off by Michael Jackon to his whirlwind romance with Madonna and fight Pablo Escobar, all culminating in his tragic and untimely assassination, Al’s life unfolds before us simple rues like no other biopic before it or since.

In case you couldn’t guess from the baffling plot description, this is actually a parody of biopics. You know how they always tend to fudge the truth to make the subjects look cooler or otherwise fictionalize things? Yeah, this is that cranked all the way up to 11. Al (played by Daniel Radcliffe) is the super cool and talented singer of silly songs who still bags a hot girlfriend in Madonna (played by Evan Rachel Woods) and does cool action movie stuff, all while having to deal with unsupportive parents and all the stereotypical nonsense that biopics cover. Then there’s all the cameos, the references, the tongue-in-cheek jabs at Al’s career, the unsubtle jab at Prince… It’s pretty much everything you could want from a biopic about Al Yankovic, particularly because it is very weird.

AL’S VOICE ACTING CAREER

Al is mostly known for his music, but he has a pretty prolific career in voice acting. Most of you are probably aware of his starring role in the Phineas and Ferb spin-off Milo Murphy’s Law, but over the years Al has popped up in quite a few cartoons. A lot of the time he appears as himself, such as in Johnny Bravo, Sabrina: The Animated Series, American Dad, and of course Back to the Barnyard because why wouldn’t he show up in that show, but he also has some really amusing roles outside of just playing up his own trademark absurdity.

The Squid Hat on The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy is one of the earliest voice performances I remembered recognizing him for. A parody of the Sorting Hat from the Harry Potter franchise for the Nigel Planter episodes, he popped up in three of those grim adventures. In the last of those, he gets gay married to Dean Toadblatt, making him one of animation’s greatest LGBT icons. Al must really have liked working with Maxwell Atoms, because he then went on to be the announcer for the fighting game based on the series.

Al had a guest role in Friendship is Magic as super silly party pony Cheese Sandwich, set up as a rival for Pinkie Pie before it being revealed that he was actually inspired by her to become who he is. There’s a lot of cute nods to Al’s career here and his debut inexplicably ends with a reference to High Plains Drifter, but I think the most important thing to mention is that in the series finale it’s revealed he hooks up with Pinkie Pie and has a child with her. To all of you bronies who had Pinkie as your waifu: GET WRECKED.

Speaking of wrecks, Al voiced Wreck-Gar for two episodes of Transformers Animated, a cheeky little nod to how the 80s movie introduced that character with Al’s song “Dare to Be Stupid.” Other minor Al roles include a three episode run as Banana Man on Adventure Time, wacky villain Dr. Scrwball Jones in Wander Over Yonder (complete with a villain song), the one-shot monster of the week Probabilitor in Gravity Falls, the alternate universe pirate painting in an episode of SpongeBob, and perhaps most hilariously he was the true voice of Darkseid in Teen Titans Go after said villain got his throat cleared up. That show may be hit or miss with its humor, but having Weird Al voice the evil overlord of Apokolips is a hilariously inspired choice.

But his most impressive performance by far is from the animated film Batman vs. Robin, where he portrays a villain known as Dollmaker. Said villain is only really in a single sequence and dies at the end, but he is genuinely one of the most eerie and disturbing foes imaginable; we’re talking Professor Pyg levels of messed up here. And the fact he’s being portrayed dead straight by the funny accordion food parody song man doesn’t elicit laughs so much as chills because Al’s extensive history voice acting has certainly given him the talent to pull something so seemingly out of his range off. I’d love to see him do more truly menacing villains, especially if he’s not going to be putting out too much music anymore.

DENIED & UNRECORDED PARODIES

Anyone with a cursory knowledge of Al knows that he asks artists permission before parodying their work. He doesn’t have to do it, but he makes sure to out of professional courtesy. Of course, this means sometimes an artist will tell him no, and he’ll back down; quite infamously, Prince steadfastly refused to allow any of his songs to be parodied, and Al respected that… though he made sure to take a few playful jabs at the Purple One over the years. But there are plenty of other song ideas and songs for medleys over his career that were rejected or just otherwise never recorded for an album, so let’s talk about them.

The two biggest ones are the rejected parodies for Off the Deep End,“Chicken Pot Pie” (a parody of “Live and Let Die”) and “Snack All Night” (a parody of “Black or White”). The former was denied by Paul McCartney because, as a vegan, he didn’t want to allow a song that might promote the consumption of animal meat. Al, a vegan himself, understood. McCartney did suggest substituting the chicken for tofu, but Al declined since he doesn’t accept suggestions from the artists (Madonna notwithstanding) and because the whole gag was that he was going to make chicken noises during the instrumental bits. The latter was denied by MJ because he didn’t want the message of his song to be diluted, and I imagine even Al thought that going for a third MJ parody would be a bit much. Despite both songs never being recorded, he has played them live quite a few times.

Now, if you think those are crazy, there’s actually a cavalcade of absurd food-based parodies of songs that he has only ever performed live and apparently as part of medleys using bits of unreleased material. Some of these songs include “Don’t You Forget About Meat” (“Don’t You Forget About Me”), “Flatbush Avenue” (“Electric Avenue”), “Free Delivery” (“My Heart Will Go On”), “House of the Sesame Seed Bun” (“House of the Rising Sun”), “Hot Beets” (“Heartbeat”), “Gravy on You” (“Crazy On You”), “Spameater” (“Maneater”), “Take Me to the Liver” (“Take Me to the River”), “We Got the Beef” (“We Got the Beat”), and “Won’t Eat Prunes Again” (“Won’t Get Fooled Again”). As you can see, Al has enough ideas to make a whole entire Food Album 2, but then again maybe he realized these ideas were better as silly little snippets than a full-fledged track on an album. Plus if he had actually recorded all these, he would definitelt be known as the “The Food Guy” the same way Bob Rivers is known solely as the guy who made a bunch of Christmas novelty songs.

Bad Hair Day is an album that has a lot of rejected ideas, and thankfully none of them are food songs. Al wanted to parody “Free As a Bird” as “Gee I’m a Nerd,” but Yoko Ono was ultimately uncomfortable with the idea so it never happened; Al was going to parody the Offspring earlier with “Laundry Day” (“Come Out and Play”), but the band rejected it as they deemed the idea too stupid (a blessing in disguise, as his later parody of their work was far more inspired); a parody of U2’s “Numb” based off of Green Eggs & Ham was planned but while the band said yes, the Seuss estate said no, which at least led to Al doing a different U2 parody on the album; a parody for “I’ll Be There For You” based around Home Improvement was considered, but despite the Rembrandts giving their permission it was denied by producers of Friends, who didn’t want the song overexposed seeing how the show was wildly popular at the time; and finally, Al was going to parody Beck’s “Loser” as “Schmoozer,” but the thetans took over Beck’s mind and caused him to worry about being taken seriously (because as we all know, “Loser” is an extremely serious song). While that last one seems lame, Beck at least came to regret this denial years later, and hey, he at least okayed the song as part of the medley! Much like the Off the Deep End parodies, lucky people could have heard these at one of Al’s concerts back in the day.

Another interesting denial was Weezer denying Al the use of “Buddy Holly” in the album’s medley… after he’d already put it in. It had to be removed from the album version, which honestly kind of weakens the song a tiny bit; Weezer would allow Al to use one of their songs in a later medley, but unfortunately said song was “Beverly Hills.”

Poodle Hat has a few interesting ones, with the biggest being not a denied parody, but a denied video. At the last minute, Eminem denied Al permission to shoot a music video for “Couch Potato,” causing Al to hastily slap together something for “Bob” instead. I don’t think I need to explain why one of his best parodies not getting a video but the silly palindrome song does is bad. At least it led to one of the funniest of Al’s celebrity “interviews.” The others are that “Hardware Store” was originally meant to be in the style of The Presidents of the United States of America, but they denied him permission—which is odd, since Al and that band seem to have a pretty cordial relationship otherwise. And finally, Korn denied the use of “Freak On a Leash” for “The Angry White Boy Polka,” a surprisingly lame rejection from an otherwise decent nu-metal band.

Straight Outta Lynwood’s big story is “You’re Pitiful,” but apparently Al had a parody lined up to replace it: “Bad Date,” a parody of the abominable “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter. Powter denied Al permission at first, probably because he was afraid Al would make his awful song actually listenable, but at the very last second (like literally the day before Al went in to record “White and Nerdy”) he gave the okay… but by then it was too late, and Al had moved on. Powter could have gotten a little gold star on his mediocre legacy, but he threw it all away because of his pride and ego.

Al had other ideas for parodies, such as “HairyBack” (“SexyBack”), “Holodeck Girl” (Hollaback Girl”), and “I.R.S.” (“S.O.S.”), but these were never recorded; another song that was never recorded was “I’m ‘n Luv (Wit the Skipper),” a homoerotic T-Pain parody about Gilligan’s Island that was actually written unlike those other ones. As such, it has shown up in concert medleys and Al even thanked T-Pain in the album credits. Nickleback also got a thanks because he was going to use “Photograph” in the polka medley, but couldn’t find a place for it.

And finally, for Mandatory Fun Al was going to make a Star Trek-themed “Let It Go” parody called “Make It So”… until he found out that it already existed. He scrapped the idea altogether, sparing the world from having to listen to any more Frozen for a while.

THAT AIN’T AL: MISATTRIBUTED SONGS

Back in the early days of the internet when you had to download music from file sharing sites instead of just downloading stuff straight off of YouTube, Al had a pretty big problem: Every single parody song people found was attributed to him. Normally, this wouldn’t be much more than a mild annoyance, but unfortunately a lot of the parodies attributed to Al were not particularly family friendly. While not opposed to piracy in and of itself, Al did say this about all the misattributions:

“If you do a search for my name on any one of those sites, I guarantee you that about half of the songs that come up will be songs I had absolutely nothing to do with. That particularly bothers me, because I really try to do quality work, and I also try to maintain a more-or-less family-friendly image—and some of these songs that are supposedly by me are just, well, vulgar and awful. I truly think my reputation has suffered in a lot of people's minds because of all those fake Weird Al songs floating around the Internet.”

I think his irritation is extremely valid, especially since… yeah, most of these parodies really are just awful, vulgar, edgelord humor from the earliest days of the World Wide Web. Bob Rivers and Tom Green especially seemed to get their work listed as Al a lot, and while I’d not call either of those two awful they certainly aren’t exactly the kind of people who make music for the whole family to listen to together. Awful is more reserved for crap like “Elmo’s Got a Gun,” “Which Backstreet Boy is Gay,” “Rice, Rice Baby,” and “Livin’ La Vida Homo.” None of this garbage even remotely sounds like it’d be up to Al’s usual standards from the titles alone, never mind the shoddy lyrics.

But then you have really weird ones, ones that just blow the mind that anyone thought it was him. “Kill the Wabbit,” which is clearly an Elmer Fudd impersonation, is bizarre enough, but then you have the Zelda song that was often thought to be System of a Down and it’s like… neither of these sound remotely like Al and he has never done voices like those ever in his career. Why would you even assume it was him? Even more baffling is that “Born in East L.A.” by Cheech Marin was attributed to him. Cheech is not some obscure, unknown celebrity; he is part of a famous stoner comic duo and often pops up in Disney movies like The Lion King, people recognize his voice. How anyone could confuse him and Al is beyond me.

These days this problem isn’t really around like it once was, but the legacy remains. I'm sure you can still find ancient YouTube videos with his name attached to a crummy parody he never even sang if you dig deep enough.

AND NOW, THE FINAL RANKING OF ALL OF AL’S ALBUMS THAT I’VE TALKED ABOUT…

17. The TV Album

A lazy, uninspired collection of Al’s weaker parodies.

16. Alapalooza

Genuinely Al’s worst full album, weighed down by his absolute worst song with nothing truly amazing to lift it up.

15. Polka Party

Not as bad as its infamous reputation would tell you, but certainly Al’s weakest output of the 80s.

14. “Weird Al” Yankovic

We all have to start somewhere. You can see the diamond in the rough, but he’s not quite there yet.

13. The Food Album

Wholly unnecessary compilation? Yes. Pretty much an all killer, no filler collection? Also yes.

12. In 3-D

The “Eat It” album. One track completely overshadows everything else.

11. Medium Rarities

A true treat for Al completionists, but if you aren’t a superfan I can’t see much value getting gleaned from this beyond a few tracks.

10. Peter and the Wolf

Weird Al and Wendy Carlos are a match made in heaven. This is a great introduction to both for kids.

9. UHF

The underrated soundtrack to the cult classic film, though your enjoyment will hinge on how much you like the movie.

8. Alpocalypse

The album I underrated the most; a collection of some of his finest original works as well as some solid parodies and songs that have aged remarkably well.

7. Off the Deep End

Al entered the 90s with a bang, and while it does slightly suffer from the same issue as In 3-D the originals here are a lot stronger and manage to stick out a bit more.

6. Straight Outta Lynwood

As usual, when Al hits a speed bump in his career he comes back swinging with some of his best material.

5. Even Worse

Al’s 80s masterpiece, the moment when Al as the world would know him came into his own.

4. Poodle Hat

Al’s most underrated album. Some of his very best originals and hilarious parodies have all managed to stand the test of time despite seeming corny and dated on release.

3. Bad Hair Day

The moment when Al reached his full potential, with both his songwriting and comedy hitting their peak and never falling down to the levels of his worst earlier works ever again.

2. Mandatory Fun

If this is his last ever album, what a way to go out. This is an absolute masterpiece that showcases everything he’s learned over his career.

1. Running with Scissors

My favorite Al-bum and the one I’ll always cite as his best work. All the edge of the 90s filtered through the wacky mind of Al Yankovic, featuring some of his funniest parodies and his very best polka medley along with perhaps his most iconic original song… yeah, this is peak.

And that's it for now. Al is still doing all sorts of stuff, but there's no sign of a new album. If he's really hanging up his accordion to focus on touring, voice acting, and whatever else there is to do... well, I can't say he didn't have a full and great career. No comedy artist has ever lasted or stayed relevant as long as Al has, and I doubt any ever will.