Emperor/Knight
|| @alpha-hux
He refused to acknowledge that he was falling apart. The barer he’d built for himself was stronger than it had any right to be, and it pulled his broken bits in and kept them from falling completely. He’d defeated Snoke, he’d won. There was no reason for him to be feeling so empty. There shouldn’t a hole in his mind that Snoke had left, there shouldn’t be pain. He should have felt absolutely ecstatic. He’d done the impossible. There should have been some feeling of gratification.Â
He glanced down at his comm, checking the time. He should have been in bed hours ago. If Hux had any sense he wouldn’t be waiting up when he’d got back. If he decided to actually return to bed that evening. He couldn’t get rid of the feeling of paranoia. It had been creeping in the back of his mind since the moment Snoke died. The what if. What if he came back? What if he wasn’t truly dead? What if there was something worse out there? What if his entire existence had been fabricated to Snoke’s every whim? The last one was new, but it felt likely. Well, all of it felt likely.Â
He climbed onto the sill of one of the giant windows in the Finalizer. There were few rooms that had such grandiose appeal, his old quarters had been one. Their new shared one had them as well, but he couldn’t sit in there, Hux was in there. The closest ones had been in the banquet hall for entertaining foreign dignitaries. It was something they’d been doing a lot lately. He got himself comfortable on the ledge, staring off into space--both figuratively and literally. It was easier to let his mind get lost than deal with his problems, and at least when he did this there was a possibility for a nap.Â
