I think you need to know about this amateur production in which Munkustrap is played by a woman in an Alonzo costume
and, uh. I've only watched half of act I so far but. altugger seems to be a very definite option đź‘€
(also. just generally, in case anyone feels like criticising them. this is a really good amateur production! the actors are giving their all, their budget is low, they clearly didn't have a lot of time with the orchestra, it is what it is. I am genuinely enjoying watching this and seeing what they do with it!)
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Alonzo really was enjoying being a cockroach! This ball is looking up. Time to congratulate Jenny, and - oh no what’s that noise
Demeter doesn’t know what’s going on, Jenny is pouting cutely, and Munkustrap goes through several stages of grief.
Plot twist: Tugger is actually the everlasting cat and Munkustrap is just fed up with him ripping a hole in the sky every time he comes down to join the party.
oh man over there, we’re really in it now
George Maniadis as Alonzo, Lucius Wolter as Gus, Anneke Brukekreeft as Demeter, Alexander Auler as Munkustrap, Denise Jastraunig as Jennyanydots, and Alex Snova as Tugger. Vienna revival, March 2022.
Altugger Week Day 7 (only, uh... 3 weeks late. woooooooo)
Date, 550 words, SFW
“Ready to go?”
Tugger jerked away from the mirror, where he’d been brushing his fur for at least three minutes without pause while Alonzo watched. His mane fluffed and he muttered to himself as he spun around to check it in the mirror as he settled it again.
“Wha— yes.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.”
“You don’t particularly look it, if I’m honest,” Alonzo said, “You look like you’re going to vibrate into space.” When Tugger paused his restless grooming, Alonzo blew out a breath and reached for Tugger’s paws. “Come away from the mirror.”
Tugger followed without resistance as Alonzo turned him around and held his shoulders, though his green eyes kept sliding away rather than allowing Alonzo to hold his gaze. Alonzo brought out the big guns: He started purring.
“So then? What’s got you like this? Why won’t you look at me?”
Tugger’s shoulders jerked. Finally his eyes met Alonzo’s. His pupils were wide and round. Nervous. Alonzo tilted his head and leaned in to kiss him but pulled back before Tugger could deepen the kiss and distract him.
“It’s just dinner with my siblings. They like you.”
“S’also your uncle,” Tugger mumbled.
“He likes you, too,” Alonzo said gently. “You’ve been to dinner with all of them before and they didn’t come out of the experience with a bad opinion of you.”
“Wasn’t a formal dinner though, was it?”
Alonzo squinted at him.
“I looked up the restaurant,” Tugger added defensively.
“Are you worried about how many spoons there are?” Alonzo asked, unable to help the tiny, teasing smile that twitched at the corners of his lips.
“I know you start at the outside and work your way in.”
Alonzo snorted softly and Tugger finally cracked a smile. He pressed their foreheads together. Alonzo rubbed his nose over Tugger’s but otherwise waited patiently because uncertainty lurked in Tugger’s eyes and his ears hadn’t quite perked up all the way.
“Tugs.”
Tugger’s tufted ears pinned back briefly. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”
“All the more reason to tell me,” Alonzo said, tugging at the messy forelock of Tugger’s head fur and tidying back into place.
“Idon’twanttoembarrassyou.”
Alonzo paused his absentminded grooming of Tugger’s head fur. He unpicked the sentence from Tugger’s rushed, garbled mumbling, and sighed softly, taking Tugger’s face between his paws. Then Alonzo squished Tugger’s cheeks.
“Seriously?”Â
“Ish notta place I go to,” Tugger whined.
He attempted to pout. Alonzo smooshed his mouth, making his lips form a fish face.
“You ridiculous tom,” he said lovingly. “You are not going to embarrass me, because you are not embarrassing.” Tugger started to say something so Alonzo bit at his bottom lip lightly. “No arguing. Bast help me but you have thoroughly charmed the entirety of my family. It does not matter how formal the restaurant is, they will still love you.”
“And you?” Tugger asked.
Alonzo rolled his eyes. “Fishing.”
“So you will.”
Alonzo clicked his tongue. He released the smoosh of Tugger’s face, letting it smooth out so he could kiss Tugger properly, playing with the fur at the back of his head. Tugger’s arms wrapped around his waist and drew him in close. When they pulled away for air, Alonzo smirked up at Tugger and squeezed the back of his neck.
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(In several days late because that’s what I get for being on vacation.)
The pigeon sat in the weak winter sun, entirely unaware that its existence was reaching the end. Alonzo crept slowly towards it.
Steady.
He crouched in the shadows and waited out his shaking legs. They hadn’t been able to eat so well in ages— most of the birds had nests and the mice and rats knew better than to come out of the warm sewers. For a while there had been a human but they’d disappeared. Alonzo’s legs stopped shaking. He stood slowly and readied himself.
Something huge and black blurred by.
Alonzo blinked dumbly where the pigeon had been; it cried a death shriek and was silent. Alonzo’s ears flattened. He whirled around, hissing his angriest, meanest hiss. The mass of black was a cat with a golden head and ridiculous ruff of gold and black stripes. Alonzo had seen him around the neighborhood, of course. A show cat if there ever had been one: He was absolutely gorgeous. Alonzo had often wondered what kind of rich and well fed house he lived in.
The tom had the audacity to open his mouth.
Alonzo hissed with even more feeling.
The tom jerked a little. His tufted ears flattened but hardly a second later they were pointed curiously at Alonzo. He closed his mouth and nudged the pigeon over, then took a few steps away and settled down on his stomach. Alonzo eyed him warily.
“S’yours,” the tom mumbled.
“What?”
“You didn’t look so steady. Thought I’d help.”
“Didn’t need it,” Alonzo snapped. His cheeks flushed.
The tom tilted his head. “Well, you’re welcome anyway. You should try the junkyard.”
Alonzo blinked. “What?”
“There’s a junkyard down the road. Ask for Munkustrap or Jellylorum. They probably won’t ask but you can say Tugger referred you.”
“Why would I?”
The tom studied Alonzo silently for a long minute. At last he shrugged and shook out his coat. “You might not need to, I suppose. It’s just an option. Not everything needs to be a struggle.”
“Like you’d know,” Alonzo snorted.
The tom’s— Tugger’s— tail thumped once. He stood slowly. It was only when he did that Alonzo realized exactly how large Tugger was; and it wasn’t all just fur. Tugger smiled a cryptic sort of half-turn of his lips.
“See you around,” he said.
“Don’t count on it.”
+
But it wasn’t long after that Victoria started shivering despite Alonzo’s best attempts at keeping her and Quaxo warm. The pigeon went down and came back up. When her cries got to be too much, Alonzo got Quaxo to his feet.
“Where are we going?” Quaxo asked.
“For help,” Alonzo said stiffly. “Follow me.”
He took Victoria by her scruff and headed down the road Tugger had once indicated. Alonzo couldn’t help but keep a wary, roving eye out— for danger, of course, not for Tugger. Alonzo hadn’t seen Tugger at all since the pigeon incident, even though he’d promised to be around.
So much for him.
Quaxo was just starting to complain about his paws hurting when they reached the fence of what was indeed a junkyard. (Alonzo was half surprised it hadn’t been some kind of trick.) As soon as they were in sight of the gate, several tomcats appeared as if from the shadows. Quaxo immediately tried to hide himself in Alonzo’s flank. Alonzo set Victoria down gently and stood over her. She mewled softly.
“I’m supposed to ask for Munkustrap or Jellylorum?” And then, because he couldn’t stand the silence, he blurted, “Tugger referred me?”
The tomcats did not seem surprised. A ginger tabby stepped forward.
“Welcome. They call me Skimbleshanks,” he said. “Are your kits in need of assistance?”
“My siblings. Quaxo and Victoria. She’s been shivering half a day. He’s just hungry and shy.”
Skimbleshanks nodded to the others. They melted into the junkyard and Alonzo immediately lost track of them. His ears flattened with uncertainty. Skimbleshanks smiled.
“They’ve gone to alert Jennyanydots. She’ll get your girl fixed up right off. He must like you.”
Alonzo blinked. His ears popped back up. “Wha— Who?”
“Tugger. He doesn’t often recommend new cats to us. Has only once before, actually.”
“O—oh.”
Skimbleshanks took a few steps forward and knelt in front of Quaxo, stretching his nose out and mrrping a greeting. Alonzo watched intently. Quaxo slowly stopped shaking against Alonzo’s side and raised his head to sniff. His little tail went up curiously and he crept forward to touch noses. Skimbleshanks smiled.
“There we go.” He licked the top of Quaxo’s head. Briefly he caught Alonzo’s gaze. “He’ll be pleased you’ve come.”
Alonzo flushed. His tail whipped. “Sure.”
Skimbleshank’s brown tail settled comfortingly over Alonzo’s back. His easy smile came once again. “Come, let’s get you settled. He’ll be by as soon as he’s done with his human’s show.”
Alonzo is shaking his head over this tiresome fact.
Especially when the girls do the whole heart-throb thing.
... but he joins in the dance anyway. He just makes sure to dance a full-body eyeroll the whole time. And shake his head some more.
George Maniadis as Alonzo, Vienna revival. Plus Anastasia Bertinshaw as Jemima, Hannah Kenna Thomas as Victoria, Nicholas Li as Admetus, Rhys Batten as Coricopat, and Johnny Randall as Carbuckety. Filmed by @thunderwhenhepurrs on 6 May and @falasta on 19 June 2022.
“Anytime,” Tugger replied, smiling. His tail waved suggestively. “Plans for the afternoon?”
“I gotta get back to the cafe.”
“What? Why?”
“They asked me to stay over to help train the new hire. George is on holiday and he’s the only other one I’d trust.” Alonzo dipped his head to kiss Tugger’s frown away. “It shouldn’t be too bad- and I’ll make overtime. I’ll see you later.”
+
Later turned out to be after closing. Alonzo fell onto the couch with a groan of relief. Tugger came in from the kitchen with two glasses of wine.
“Long day?“
Alonzo smiled grimly and took a long sip of wine. “At least training mostly means hovering in the back.”
Tugger’s thumb pressed into the knot in his shoulder. Alonzo almost dropped his wine. He groaned and let his eyes fall shut.
“You’re off tomorrow though, right?”
Alonzo hummed an agreement, leaning into the touch.
+
He woke to the sound of a text on his mobile. It was his brother’s ringtone. Alonzo skimmed the message and rolled over with a groan, burying his face into Tugger’s side. Tugger’s arms came up around him.
“Whassit?”
“My brother.”
“Hmm?”
“He needs my help at a show. His usual stage assistant is sick and I’m the only one who knows his routine.”
Tugger kissed Alonzo’s jaw. “Can’t he do it himself?”
Alonzo turned his face to capture Tugger’s lips for a moment. He pulled away with a sigh. “Half of his tricks require props that need prep. If he did it himself the audience would notice.”
Tugger frowned. He couldn’t quite hide his disappointment via drooping ears. “When do you need to go?”
“Gotta be out in an hour so I can get there and prep.”
“Want me to come?”
“Probably not before the show. Quaxo can get finicky about someone seeing his tricks.”
“Bring you lunch?”
Alonzo rolled out of bed and started digging for his clothes. “That would be great. I’ll text you?”
“Sure.”
+
Between the shows and the props needing to be reset and the stage backdrop nearly falling on their heads, he did not text. Lunch turned out to be some of the saddest sandwiches he’d ever had.
+
His mobile was ringing again.
“No,” said Tugger.
Alonzo blinked at him.
“That’s your boss,” Tugger growled.
“How in the Layer do you know that?”
“Know your tones.” Tugger used Alonzo’s gawping as a distraction and snatched the mobile from Alonzo’s paw. “You are off today.”
“But Munkustrap—.”
“Can find someone else.”
“Give me—.”
“Shan’t,” Tugger said airily. He tapped the mobile screen and brought it to his lips, swatting away Alonzo’s grasping hands as he dictated: “This is the boyfriend full stop. Alonzo is not available for emergencies barring death comma call back later.”
“Tugger!” Alonzo snapped.
Tugger placed the mobile on the bedside table. A second later he rolled over, pinning Alonzo to the mattress and grinning a darkly promising smile. His tail swayed hypnotically. Alonzo shivered; his stomach tightened in anticipation. Tugger dipped his head to Alonzo’s neck, feathering kisses down its length. Alonzo tangled his fingers into Tugger’s fur. Teeth followed the path of kisses. Alonzo jerked; his head fell back into the pillows and his fingers tightened. Tugger smiled slowly against his skin.