#alonecation

July 12, 2012 I wrote:

21.) Vacationing Alone - I plan on going somewhere simply divine, reading the bible a great deal, journaling, being around lots of water, & of course Instagraming pics of myself doing the things I love. Simple.

The message above is from my 30 before 30 list (that I began when I was 27) and last week I spent three days fulfilling this promise to myself. I deemed my sacred time ‘alonecation’ and it was all things magnificent!

I had a lot of questions from folks before and after the trip; so I put together this Q&A of the top 5 questions I received.

What made you decide to vacation alone? Back in the day I thought it was fresh concept, but ironically when I finally made the plans it felt like a necessity for my life. I honestly needed the space to cry. I needed to smile. I needed time alone with God. I needed to express gratefulness. I needed consistent solitude so I could clearly hear His will. I booked a gorgeous off beach condo and God blessed it. In fact, when I arrived at the condo the new Kelly Price joint, “It’s My Time” came on the radio. I saw it as confirmation that I’d made my next move, my best move, and jammed out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmBQOfKep3U 

What the hell did you do alone? Those who follow me via Instagram at glilhony2 saw bits of my journey under #alonecationflow. In short, I literally woke up every morn (no alarm clock) and did whatever I liked. I lived for me. I prayed a lot, did yoga, moisturized my body, ate clean foods, bought myself flowers, listened to the ocean at night, watched the sunset, played soulful music, wrote, watched a ratchet movie on BET, ran a warm rose bath, put on clothes that made me feel sensual, sat in awe of God’s goodness, got an aromatherapy massage, etc. There are so many things that I/we tend to ‘wait’ for others to do, but why? Flowers are just as beautiful if we give them to ourselves. Food is just as delectable when we make it with love just for us. Our bodies deserve to be sumptuous even when we’re the only ones touching it. God desires to hear from us even when there is no one else around to witness.

Girl, you weren’t alone! Who was taking those photos for ‘da gram’? Some of my dearest friends didn’t believe I was solo dolo, but I was indeed happily alone. There’s an app called Auto Cam Timer. It helped capture a lot of lovely moments that I wanted to tangibly be able to look back and smile on. I highly recommend it.

This is just for single people, right? Wrong. Just because someone else loves you it doesn’t give you the excuse to not love yourself. Heck, even Claire needed a crown and a sound proof room to retreat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRwkUnmAxtw. Self love is always key. While I was away I read a beautiful book Salt by nayyirahwaheed and she has a poem that says, “If someone does not want me it is not the end of the world, but if I do not want me the world is nothing but endings.” My personal goal is to fall deeper in love with God and myself so that I can have enough love to give others and still sustain.

Hey dirty, what if I ain't got no money? *in my ODB voice* All of the things I did during the alonecation I/we could easily do at home. Opt for the warm bath instead of a quick shower. Take 5 extra minutes to slowly moisturize. Write down gratitude’s. Have a calming cup of tea. Enjoy a red wine in silence. Pick up those pretty flowers at the local grocery and smell those mugs. Wake up early to praise the creator and mediate. Don’t respond to mofo’s you don’t want to talk to. It’s the little things that make us whole and happy.

Whatever is needed, we are the ones.