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It does make me a lil sad that Alastor, a man notorious for feeling as if he needs no one, goes out of his way to endure discomfort for his fr*ends.
He puts up with Box Vox's shoulder touching despite it being uncomfortable.
He let's Niffty crawl all over him. We know he likes her and that she doesn't do it to make him uncomfortable, but we also know he's not a fan of touching.
He let's Mimzy bring tons of problems his way and clearly uses him for personal gain, a dynamic that might have been present during their time on Earth. Had it not jeopardized the terms of his deal with Rosie and her personal interest in the hotel, he would have let this lopsided dynamic continue.
There's a lot of underlying/historical/possibly traumatic reasons why he does this. I have a few theories, but this was merely an interesting observation.
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Why were all of Alastor's Pilot era relationships ruined?
CW: Anti RA (If you like RA scroll), Mentions of what Vox put Alastor through, Mentions of Rosie's owning Alastor.
I can't be the only one who's noticed this right? Alastor has no friends or relationships with any of the characters anymore. Not really at least... and when he does the narrative almost seems like it's pushing them into an unhealthy corner JUST so the Show can make RA canon. And if you don't believe me then stick around... I just might change your mind.
Okay let's start with the most obvious 2, RadioStatic and RadioRose
Rosie:
From the pilot and tumblr days it seemed like the two of them were inseparable! They were Mary Poppins and the Chimney sweep! (That's even what the two of them were an homage to in "It's A Deal". ) They were like two pees in a pod! They had one of the sweetest friendships in the ENTIRE show!
But then we find out that she's the one who owns his soul. She treats him like a pet and he seems to actually genuinely HATE her! She calls him a pet, puts him in a cage, and seemingly enjoys reminding him of the power she hold over him. A lot of people have been turned away from their relationship because of this.
The show took this relationship (Alastor's best friend in hell) and basically shat all over it by having her abuse him and her power.
Vox:
This one feels like it's the most obvious.
In the Tumblr days yeah Vox was obsessed with taking Alastor down and they had a very Rival/Enemies coded relationship. But to me it always felt more even... especially during season 1. Yeah, Alastor was shown getting one over on Vox but their hatred really felt like it wasn't just one sided.
Alastor didn't need to hyjack Vox's song if he really didn't care about what Vox was saying... but he did, because he does care. (Not in a romantic way) Alastor hated Vox as much as Vox hated him, and he'd take any opportunity to fight with the guy because that was the only fun/the only challenge he had in Hell.
But then season 2 rolls around and Vox became a creepy obsessive incel. He's obsessed with Alastor! To the point that he might actually have an Alastor Body pillow like some of yall put in your Vox fanfics. And that's genuinely what it feels like sometimes, a fanfic. "Oh wow! Vox is just such a Yandere for Alastor! Look at their toxic Yaoi!" It doesn't feel even anymore! It genuinely feels like Vox is harassing Alastor (and... isn't he? He ties Al up and parades him around... eventually forcing Al to watch him and Valentino to have sex! Like he has a fetish for being humiliated and then humiliating his partner twice as much!)
Vox eventually goes as far as pushing away every other relationship and all common sense just for Alastor's approval. Like... HUH?! That is not something Season 1 Vox would have done!!
Mimzy:
She appears ONCE and only seems intersted in Alastor for protection. She appears to cause the hotel trouble, and then have Alastor clean up her mess. She really only seems to be using him as a shield and he keeps her around because the fights are entertaining for him and they give a more fierce reputation. Then we never see Mimzy again.
Husk:
He get's one moment in season 1 where Alastor threatens to rip his soul apart. Great... more abuse -_- This one I can't really be too mad about because Alastor has always enjoyed lording over Husk and abusing that power. But then in season 2 he speaks to Alastor once but he's more so fighting in self defense rather than actually trying to help out Alastor.
That is the extent of their relationship and yet the show want to act like it's such a big deal that Alastor is abusing Husk because it parallels Angel and Valentino's story but we've BARELY seen Alastor and Husk interact!
Niffty:
She get's two moments with Alastor! 2! She get's a moment in season one where she gives him the roach crown and then she has a moment in season 1 where she RUNS across town TWICE just to save Alastor! That is how much she cares about him and in turn when she's about to be shot! (I don't think Val's guns are angelic so he just REALLY didn't want her to feel any pain!)
And then... the fandom insists that he sees her as a daughter... or a little sister...
No guys... Niffty is 22 years old. She's not 4! If anything these two are giving besties. It doesn't always have to be a parental/familial relationship guys. Friends exist too...
Speaking of that.
Charlie:
Now we come to what is arguably the most noticeably absent relationship in the show.
Charlie and Alastor are such interesting parallels. They have similar personalities and interests. Alastor and Charlie were both very bouncy and animated, they both like drawing and doodling, they like pineapple on pizza, they have the same sense of humor (noted on the wiki that Charlie likes Alastor's puns, so he obviously makes her laugh).
And from the pilot alone it felt like these two would be the driving factors of the series! The good and the bad. Push and pull. Yin and Yang. The protagonist and the antagonist.
Would Charlie be successful in changing the souls of hell and wouldβcould that evenβinclude Alastor himself? Or would her deams be crushed so hard that Alastor eventually manages to corrupt her into being just like him?
HELL THEY'RE LITERALLY BOTH THE ONLY 2 ON THE PILOT THUMBNAIL!!
Their relationship feels like it should be THE MOST important one in the series!! They represent the entire theme questions of the show. "Can even the worst lost soul be redeemed?" and "How far can you go before redemption becomes impossible?"
Charlie and Alastor are the moral argument for why redemption is/should be possible and why it isn't/shouldn't. The Pilot was a battle of ideologies. And most interestingly... it asked another question through Alastor's original motivations... "does intent matter?"
If he actually was the one who was doing good around the hotel, protecting it, getting them sponsors and managing it... Those could all be argued as good (or at the very least selfless things) but we know that his motivations are self serving rather than altruistic.
BUT what if, even for a brief moment... Alastor WAS redeemed... either through a choir of Angels trying to bring him up to heaven or a holy light sucking him up to heaven...
There is SO much to explore here with THESE two specifically... yet they just... dont!
And others who WEREN'T HERE for the shipping wars of 2019 to... well now I guess... EVEN THEY CALL OUT ALASTOR AND CHARLIE HAVING BASICALLY A NET NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIP!!
If randos on YouTube can step back and say, "Hey it's weird that Alastor is telling Lucifer that he sees Charlie like a daughter when they've barely interacted." then it shouldn't be too hard to take your blinders off and realize, "wait, why HAVEN'T Alastor and Charlie interacted... like ever?!"
Angel Dust:
This one is more of an honorable mention because it was so big in the pilot era. RadioDust was HUGE and then they only get 1 moment in the very first episode that was basically a less funny version of:
"And what can you do my Effeminate fellow?"
"I can suck your dick-"
*MIC PEAK*
"HA! No."
...
So why do I bring this up? Because it really feels like the writers are trying to push away every other relationship Alastor has JUST so RA seems more appealing.
So at the end it's gonna be:
(and before I get into it let me make this clear that these are not how I actually feel about these ships. I'm making a point about how vicious and nonsensical some of the arguements are)
RadioRose: YOU CAN'T LIKE THEM!! SHE LITERALLY USED TO OWN HIM!! HE HATES HER!! THEY WOULD NEVER BE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC!! YOU'RE PRO SLAVE X MASTER!!
RadioStatic: YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY LIKE THEM!! DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH VOX ABUSED ALASTOR?! AND VOX IS SO OBSESSED WITH ALASTOR!! HE'S BASICALLY AN INCEL!! YOU CAN'T PAIR THEM TOGETHER BECAUSE THAT SETS A BAD EXAMPLE!! YOU'RE PRO ABUSER X VICTIM!! PLUS STATICMOTH!!
Almimzy: THEY WERE BARELY AROUND AND SHE'S JUST USING HIM!! THEY HAVE NO CHEMISTRY!! COME ON NOW!!
RadioHusk: DUDE THAT'S SO MESSED UP!! HE LITERALLY ABUSES HUSK!! PLUS HUSKERDUST!! AND THEY BARELY SPEND ANY TIME TOGETHER!! YOU'RE PRO SLAVE X MASTER!! (BUT REVERSED THIS TIME!!)
RadioMaid: EW!! PEDO!! SHE'S HIS DAUGHTER OBVIOUSLY!! AND SHE'S LIKE 4!! PLUS MADMAID!!
RadioBelle/Charlastor: YOU'RE PRO GROOMING!! HE ALSO SEE'S HER AS A DAUGTER!! HE'S JUST TRYING TO MANIPULATE HER AND YOU STILL WANT TO SHIP THEM?! PLUS CHAGGIE!! YOU CAN'T PAIR THEM TOGETHER BECAUSE THAT SETS A BAD EXAMPLE!! YOU'RE PRO ABUSER X VICTIM!! (BUT REVERSED THIS TIME!!)
RadioDust: ARE YOU DUMB?! NO CHEMISTRY!! THEY BARELY SPEND ANY TIME TOGETHER!! PLUS HUSKERDUST!!
And with Cherrisnake being canon, Huskerdust being canon, Chaggie being canon, Madmaid being canon, and RadioRose being RUINED!! (plus no RadioDoll because Velvette is a lesbian)... who does that leave?
OH YEAH!! Lucifer and Alastor...
Well CLEARLY they should be together because who else do we have?! No one!! They have to be together because there isn't anyone left!! Never mind the fact that they would be even more toxic and abusive than probably half the ships on this list!!
RS - "THEY HATE EACH OTHER!!" So does RA.
RB, RR, RM, and RH - "POWER IMBALANCE!!" So does RA.
RS, RH, and RR - "IT WOULD BE HATE FUCKING MORE THAN GENUINE CONNECTION OR LOVE!!" So does RA.
Pretty much all except Almimzy? - "AGE GAP!!" Are we fucking serious because SO DOES MOTHERFUCKING RA!!
"B-B-BUT RA IS SPECIALLY!! THEY'RE ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!" So was Radiostatic, and Radiobelle could have also had a cute mini Enemies to lovers arc (HELL SO COULD RADIOHUSK!!).
"BUT RA IS SO CUTE!! WAY CUTER-" Shut the fuck up, that's an opinion!
"But... but RA makes me feel things!!" And you're entitled to how you feel about a ship but if the only way to make them canon/better is to tear down other character's relationships (or retcon/rewrite/ignore them completely) then maybe it just shouldn't be canon.
Every time someone does the "y'know it's a theory that Alastor seduced his victims" (it's also not, btw, it's a stupid headcanon that for some reason people like) as if his victims weren't WEALTHY RACIST WHITE MEN DURING JIM CROW I lose more and more faith in media literacy. (Not to mention the kind of loaded implications here in regards to Black men...)
Anyways, I think a better headcanon would be Alastor and Mimzy luring out racists who want to attack and kill Alastor for being near a white woman. And then they kill them together. As friendly bonding. And this is why they're still so close even after they both died.
(They became friends because he was walking her home from a jazz club because she was tipsy, and someone tried to go after Alastor for being near her. And then when Alastor was trying to defend himself WITHOUT incriminating himself in front of a witness, Mimzy pulled out a knife and killed him, looked at Alastor and went "Oops! Didn't mean to do that!" And then they hid the body together. β€οΈ)
