All the Parts
Part of me wants my blog to stay as quiet and as private as possible, for as long as possible. Part of me wants to use it as an escape or emotional outlet from my everyday life. To talk about topics that perhaps I wouldn’t really want to talk to my friends or family about. Part of me wants to blend into the world of tumblr and just be another username on a desktop or iPhone screen. Just another blog that you scroll past and never really read up on. I guess I kind of want it to be more for me than for anyone else. However, the other part of me wants the opposite. The other part of me wants my words to be read by people from all over the world. The other part of me wants my writing to be something that people talk and read about with the knowledge that it’s MY work. My thoughts, my emotions, my opinions.
Part of me doesn’t care what people think and the other part cares too much. Either way I’m nervous. All parts of me are nervous. Whichever way this blog goes I know there’s going to be a part of me left unhappy, but I also know that I’ll be upsetting the whole of me if I never start. It’s a commitment , I know that, but if I don’t start now I know I never will.
You see part of me has wanted to start a blog for the longest time but I guess another part of me decided that I’ve just got a lot on my plate and I wasn’t ready to ‘fully commit’ to it. I tend to do that a lot with stuff. When I really want to start something I normally end up just blowing it off and never actually doing it because I’m ‘not ready for it’ or ‘ I’m too busy’. I guess I want to use this as a start to better that part of myself.
I don’t have a long sob story to write about or a particular theme or topic I’m going to base my blog on. It’ll just be whatever I feel like sharing at that particular moment in my life. Maybe it’ll resonate with someone, maybe it won’t. Either way, it’s an honest part of myself I’ll be sharing and right now that’s enough for the rest of my parts of myself.
