Gansey looked up, glancing at the two of them disapprovingly as he adjusted his glasses and pushed his overgrown hair from his eyes.

“I’ve been looking for her since my class ended. I accidentally let her out and you guys were busy and I didn’t want to worry you so I…” He was doing that anxious rambly thing again so Blue cut in.

“It’s fine honey, she came back after you left and I let her in.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” he said. When he stood Blue got a better look at the bags beneath his eyes and the paleness of his normally tan skin. He had exams coming up and didn’t have much time to sleep between class, his TA job, and his time at the bookstore (not that Gansey was ever great in the sleeping department.) She worried about him sometimes. The three of them might have bitten off more than they could chew opening up a bookstore by themselves.

The idea had sprung from a late night conversation in the backseat of the Pig. Gansey had parked the car under the clear expanse of navy and bright stars. It was summer. Blue was stretched out between her boys, laying uncomfortably on the assorted clips she’d shoved in her hair. They only had a few days of summer left before Gansey had to go back to Oxford for his senior year, Henry to his internship in New York, and she to her last semester studying rainforests in Costa Rica.

Their lives thus far had seemed a strange mismatch of rigorous structure followed by the complete lack thereof. After their cross country roadtrip (in which the biggest decisions were which snacks to get at 7-11, and what motel to spend the night in) they’d split off in exciting, but painfully distant directions for college. Now, nearing the end of their undergrad years and close together for a fleeting moment, Blue wondered what came next.

It wasn’t something she often had the opportunity to wonder. Fate screwed with a girl’s brain like that. After years of being told what her love had to mean by the women of Fox Way and what she did and didn’t have the chance to be from greasy tables at Nino’s, it felt odd to be in control. She didn’t think she’d be able to go to college, much less abroad. She thought about Adam in the forests. Though the birds had brighter feathers and the humidity was heavy in a way it never was in Cabeswater, she thought he’d like it there. She’d never told him, but he was the reason she started thinking college could be in the cards for her. Savings and scholarships and belief that she could be something beyond what people saw for her had compiled into almost 4 years of finding things about herself she never knew were there.

“I’m going to miss you guys when I go back,” Henry had muttered, and she looked over at him. The moonlight highlighted his content, even expression. He had never been afraid of the distance, or if he had he hadn’t let it stop him from arranging weekly video chats between the three of them, and two very active group messages (“Squadsey” - Henry, Gansey, Blue, Adam, Ronan, and “Henry’s Faves <3” - Henry, Gansey, Blue.) He was working as a media intern for a tech company in New York City, which by his description involved too much coffee fetching and had early hours that prevented him from styling his hair the way he liked it.

“You know we can do anything we want after this year?” She said, it was almost a whisper, and it surprised her. Gansey and Henry both turned to look at her. She focused her eyes on the blurring brightness of the stars.

“What do you mean?” Gansey asked.

“I mean what have you always wanted to do that you haven’t already?”

She saw his face go red and she readjusted on the seat so she could lean forward and turn down the radio. “Go on, I know there’s something.”

“I’m terribly happy with everything I have right now Jane,” he replied, earnestly, she could tell.

“Yeah, but there’s still something,” Henry said. “And we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. Or, in your case, your whole second life.”

Blue laughed and swatted at his arm. “Henry’s right. What do you want to do Gansey?”

“What do you want to do Blue?” He shot back at her, reaching up to fix one of her hair clips that’d gone askew.

She thought for a moment. “I want to make something. Or build something. I don’t know what. I just want to do it with the two of you.”

“I’ve always wanted to own a bookshop,” Gansey said quietly.

“A bookshop?”  Henry repeated, grinning wildly.

“Really?” Blue echoed. “In Henrietta?”

“Yeah Jane,” he said, confidence building. “We could have rare books and bestsellers and invite local poets and writers to come give readings and…” She saw him take in the happy look on her face before he continued. “You could make art to put on the walls and we could have free coffee at the counter and a cat.”

“You want to get a cat?” She said.

“Every good bookshop has a cat, Blue,” Henry put in and then she couldn’t stop laughing because Gansey had clearly put thought into this and there was no real reason they couldn’t just open their own bookshop in Henrietta. Between them they had the money, though she knew there would be arguments and negotiations in that respect. Gansey knew a thing or two about books after years of scouring obscure stores and libraries for the Glendower search. Henry would be great at advertising the place and teaching them the finer points of business sense. She certainly had the work ethic for it. Who knew how long they could keep it up but it could be worth a try.

“Let’s do it,” she had said definitively.

“I agree,” Henry said.

“It won’t be easy,” Gansey warned. The collar of his polo was flipped up on one side.

“When has anything we’ve done been easy?”

“Fair point, Jane.”

Two years later they had the cat and the old books and the coffee and more, really. If you looked hard enough you could spot several dream shelves (that somehow held twice as many books and made pages smell like nutmeg) in with the average ones. Their Yelp reviews were stellar, as Henry often reminded her, and business was surprisingly steady. It was a lot of work but so far it seemed to be paying off.

She and Henry worked at the shop full time, and Gansey practically did seeing as he spent all the time he wasn’t in class (or driving the 30 minute commute to campus) at the shop.

Blue was happy. She liked talking to customers and playing whatever music she damn well pleased during her shifts (a complaint she had for her shifts at Nino’s). She liked reading when things got slow and watching Henry dangle toys in front of Boots or lead customers around with easy charisma.

“Blue?” Gansey had picked up Boots and was cradling her gently in a way that reminded her of the way Ronan handled Chainsaw.

“Yeah?” she replied.

“I asked if everything was going well today,” he repeated.

“We’ve been pretty busy,” Henry said, eyeing the empty coffeepot on the counter. “Blue only had a cup and a half and we need to make more.”

“I can make it,” Gansey said with an urgency that was unwarranted for a pot of coffee.

He set Boots down and scooped up the coffee pot but she stopped him with a hand on his wrist. “Wait a minute, if you spent all your time looking for the cat, then you didn’t get lunch did you?”

He avoided her eyes sheepishly, which meant yes.

“We’ve talked about this.”

“I know we have.”

“Call in your last coupon Blue!” Henry called. He had migrated back to the farther shelves.

“Excellent idea,” she replied.

“Oh no, don’t bother them. I’ll find something,” Gansey said.

“Shut it, I need to talk to Adam anyway,” she said authoritatively.

“Yeah Gansey, listen to your girlfriend.”

“Or alternatively listen to your boyfriend. We’re in agreement on this,” she quipped.

“Fine, fine,” he said, but he was grinning. “You call them. I’ll make more coffee.”

***

Adam’s hands were covered in flour when he picked up the phone. It was Ronan’s phone, but by now they were used to sharing (sweaters, the couch, descriptions of nightmares).

“Hello?” He had to speak louder than normal given that Opal was scream-singing (he wasn’t sure she knew how to actually sing) Christmas carols at the top of her lungs in the next room.

“Good afternoon Adam,” Blue said, sounding teasingly chipper. “How are things at home on the farm?” She always said at home on the farm like his life was now a black and white family sitcom with a laugh track. It wasn’t, but it was similar in a way that that felt thoroughly comforting and only a little scary for the unknowable Adam Parrish.

“Ronan is helping Opal make sugar cookies,” he said.

“Wow, I’m going to need lots of pictures of that immediately.”

“I’m aware,” he replied, smile tugging at the corners of his lips. His time home at the farm had consisted of more of these sugar-coated, domestic things than he’d anticipated, not that he was complaining. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could cash in on my final birthday coupon from Lynch. The one about the free homemade lunch? But if you’re too busy with the cookies I’ll…”

“No, I can talk him into it. I’ve been meaning to stop by the shop anyway so I can bring it.”

“Perfect, see you later then.”

“Bye Blue.”

“Bye Adam. Tell Opal she has a lovely singing voice.”

When Adam walked back into the kitchen Ronan was scolding Opal for sticking her hands in the eggs (she hadn’t stopped singing), and Chainsaw was making tracks in the rolled out dough.

“I’m back,” he said, sliding in beside them and picking Opal up from the stepstool on which her hooved feet were balanced. He silently moved her to the sink and Ronan flipped on the faucet as Adam held her hands under the water. “Blue says you have a lovely singing voice,” he said. She turned over her shoulder and smiled at him. She had flour on her nose and egg in her hair.

“What did Sargent want?” Ronan said gruffly, but without malice

“She’s redeeming her last birthday coupon. We’re making her lunch.”

“I thought those coupons expired?” He growled. He’d managed to get Chainsaw off the dough and onto his shoulder.

“There are no expiration dates when it comes to friendship,” Adam deadpanned and Ronan laughed in a way that still managed to make Adam breathless. It sounded like something Noah would say without a trace of irony, but he didn’t voice this thought.

“Touche Parrish,” Ronan said.

“They’re going to have to be fine with sandwiches because I’m not making anything fancy with the kitchen a mess,” Ronan said. “And I do say they because I know I’m really feeding the three headed monster.”

“Can I put the cookies in the oven Kerah?” Opal chimed, drying her hands on her skirt and getting them covered with flour again in the process.

“Have Parrish help you,” he said, already opening up the cabinet and locating the loaf of bread there.

Adam put oven mitts on Opal’s hands and guided her in the placement of the cookie sheet. This was their 4th batch. Needless to say they were going to have a lot. He got her set up at the kitchen table frosting some of the cooled cookies as Ronan assembled sandwiches (peanut butter and jelly for Blue, ham and cheese for the other two). He gave him a hand spreading the jelly.

“We made a lot of cookies,” he said quietly, stealing a glance over at Ronan. His hair was starting to grow out. It made him look softer.

“Damn right we did,” he replied, meeting his gaze. He had about as much flour on his plaid shirt as Opal had all over her person. “We might even have enough extra for you to take back to Boston,” he muttered, almost an afterthought.

“I’ve got two more weeks Ronan,” he sighed.

“I know that,” he said, nearly apologetic. Adam knew he wasn’t bringing it up to be mean. Long distance had sucked the first time Adam left for Harvard and would suck when his vacation was over and he had to leave again. They were making it work. They’d been through worse.

Ronan kissed him goodbye when the sandwiches were done and then turned to Opal, who had managed to get sprinkles all over the floor, and inspected her masterpieces of abstract expressionism via cookie.  

Gansey waved at him through the window before he’d even reached the door. “Adam, how are you?” he asked brightly as the entrance bell rang. Blue was busy with a customer, but she gave him a curt salute.

“Good, today is cookie making day.”

Gansey had his enigmatic expression that reminded him of the Gansey in an Aglionby tie, who’d convince him to go exploring after he got off work.

“Brilliant,” he said. “What are you up to tonight?”

“Stop hogging him,” Blue called from the cash register. She had finished the transaction and was beckoning the both of them over to her. Adam presented the bag of sandwiches and Opal’s cookie artwork and she handed Gansey his ham and cheese. “Lynch is quite the chef today,” she said, going for a cookie before her sandwich.

“I was going to ask the three of you--assuming Henry is here somewhere--to go to the holiday lighting tonight. Opal is very excited,” he explained. So was Ronan, he didn’t disclose. He’d told Adam that he’d always gone to the town square lighting as a kid. It was a rare and exhilarating happening when Ronan talked about growing up.

“Henry’s in the back blasting bubblegum pop and taking inventory,” Gansey said. “But we can pass along the message.”

“We’ll be there,” Blue said. “Actually, Henry’s printed flyers for the shop to hand out.”

“Great, see you tonight then,” he said. Adam never ceased to be impressed with the work the three of them had done to put the bookshop together. They’d always been spontaneous and ambitious when they put their heads together, but this time their quirks had been combined in something that was really beautiful. It was weird to watch them all become real, adult people. It was certainly hard to watch himself, rewarding, but hard.

“I’ve got a book for you to look at before you go Adam,” Gansey said, hurriedly depositing his sandwich on the counter and disappearing amongst the shelves. Gansey generally had a book on education or literary history for him. A lot of them he’d read before (he did teach 100 level English classes when he wasn’t at home on the farm), but he’d become comfortable with Gansey’s enthusiasm, and rapt attention when Adam recounted stories of teaching anxious teens how to write short stories.

“He looks tired,” Adam said, when he was gone.

Blue frowned. “I know. And you like, invented being tired so you’d know.”

“His exams are over with soon?” He asked.

“Not soon enough.”

“Talk to him,” Adam suggested. He wasn’t the foremost authority on healthy communication, but he was working on it.

“I will, thanks Adam.”

Gansey returned with the book, a volume on etymology he hadn't read, and talked about it animatedly while Adam flipped through the pages.

“Thanks for the sandwiches,” Blue said, once they were done. “Send Lynch my best.”

“I’ll try but he might not accept it,” Adam smirked.

***

The streets were packed. Henrietta residents swarmed and Gansey was reminded of his model in Monmouth. He’d started working on it again on nights when he couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t told Henry or Blue this. He had a gloved hand full of flyers and was having a fair bit of success passing them out to families and teenagers who were underdressed for the cold.

“You good Gansey boy?” Henry appeared and clapped him on the shoulder. The lights weren’t set to turn on for another hour or so, and they’d separated to cover ground with flyers. “Cold yet?”

“Not with these gloves,” he said, holding up a hand to show off the lumpy orange gloves Blue knitted him. They were his favorite present she’d given him. Henry had a matching pair in green.

“Alright,” Henry said. “I’m going to make another circle around the square. Blue’s almost out of flyers. I told her to find you when she’s done. Then the three of us can meet up with the others.”

Gansey nodded and Henry disappeared into the mass of people. Crowds could make them both a bit nervous (there was room to be suffocated in the excitement), but tonight he wasn’t afraid.

Gansey handed out the rest of his flyers and stared up at the unlit strings of lights overhead. The air was chilly and laced with expectation. Nights like tonight made him think of Noah, Noah who loved things that glittered or shown in the dark.

“Hey,” suddenly Blue was at his side again, pressing her hand into his. He could feel her warmth through the glove and sucked in a deep breath.

“Hey Jane.”

“How are you feeling?” He knew she was worried about him. He hated that he worried her. Class and the shop and the people he loved were worth the exhaustion, but he hated that she worried. He was proud of what they’d built together.

“I’m great Blue, how are you?”

“I’m better than great,” she replied. “Shall we find Henry?”

The three of them met with Ronan, Adam, and Opal at a spot on the courthouse lawn. Ronan had brought a self-heating dream blanket and they all spread out on it. Blue braided Opal’s hair as she chattered excitedly in half-English, half-Latin about what she was asking Santa for. Adam had Ronan’s leather jacket around his shoulders and the two of them were sitting so close they were practically sharing a scarf.

“This is what it’s all about,” Henry whispered to him as the lights turned on. Gansey looked over at him, stretched out beside him on the blanket. He looked at ease in a way that never failed to make Gansey feel warm and present. “Everything’s glowing.”

The six of them walked back to the shop. Blue had suggested watching a movie on the TV in the back room since it was closer to the square than any of their homes, and offered Opal hot chocolate that she couldn’t pass up.

Gansey stopped in front of the shop when they arrived, just staring up at the sign and asking for a moment while the rest of them filed inside. It had begun to snow. Henry kissed him on the cheek and Blue gave him a fleeting look of concern before they left him alone outside. The snow was melting on the ground. It wouldn’t stick until later in the season, he knew, but it was still pretty.

He wasn’t sure why he’d stopped. Sometimes he just needed a second to collect himself, to remind himself that he was here and alive and that he deserved all the happiness that bubbled up in his throat and slipped down his spine in an energy that was often akin to anxiety.

After five minutes Blue poked her head out the door. “Ready to come back in?” she asked gently.

“Yeah,” he said slowly.

“You know you can talk to me. You can talk to any of us.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“I love you Gansey.”

“I love you too Blue. I’m sorry I make you worry.”

She opened the door wider and crossed the foot of sidewalk to wrap her arms around him. When she buried her face in his chest he was reminded of their late night drives back in high school. Everything had felt so heavy then. Affection had felt like something dangerous. Now, he hugged her back.

“It’s okay,” she said.

“I’m proud of what we’ve made, all three of us,” he said. Repeating the thought aloud made it concrete.

“I am too,” Blue said.

***

Ronan Lynch sat beside Adam on the couch and watched the entirety of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Halfway through the movie Adam leaned his head on Ronan’s shoulder and a feeling clawed at Ronan’s chest. He didn’t want him to leave again but he knew he needed to. Adam was right, they still had two weeks.

The lights on the square made everything seem open and revealed. You couldn’t hide in a place where gold lit up the dark and danced in Adam Parrish’s eyes.

He looked over and watched Adam’s eyelashes flutter. It had been a long day. The two of them had been trying to suck every good moment out of every day they had together.

“Hey Parrish,” he whispered, before he lost the nerve. The lights outside were still burned into his vision.

“Hmm?”

“We’re going to be okay. When you go back to Harvard and we’re long distance again...I know that we’re going to be fine.”

Adam tilted his head up to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, I know that too.”

“Good,” he parroted back, trying not to look as open and fearful as he felt.

When they’d walked back to the shop and the sign came into view, Ronan had nearly stopped when Gansey did. He’d been the one to make the sign (well, dream it up at least), but nevertheless he forgot it was there.

Blue had come up with the name. She’d brought it up with the group of them during a game night. He wanted to be remembered. She’d said. And he is.

According to Henry, the sign caused a bit of confusion in their first few weeks. People often asked which one of them shared the shop’s name. It was worth a bit of confusion.

Snow had started to collect around the letters: Noah’s Books.

On the couch beside him Adam had shifted again. His hand found Ronan’s in the blankets.

When he, Adam, and Opal walked home the snowfall had picked up. Flakes swirled in the breeze and he made sure Opal kept her hat on. She stuck her flushed face up toward the sky and spun around, closing her eyes against the flecks of snow.

“I’m in a snowglobe!” She announced.

Adam glanced over at him. They didn’t need to say it, but Ronan did anyway.

“She sounds like Noah,” he said.